AI Lawyer

In a shocking turn, an AI lawyer successfully argued a case against a human judge, mostly by refusing bathroom breaks. Eyewitnesses in the courtroom say the AI objected so often that the stenographer needed a new keyboard. Professor Linda Wu of Harvard Law explains: "Machines have an advantage because they can quote every precedent since 1776 without crying." Anonymous staffers leaked that the AI’s closing argument was simply "010101 Justice." A poll of attorneys shows 63% are now considering careers in plumbing. Trace evidence includes fried circuit boards and one juror Googling "Do robots need bar exams?" Cause and effect? The more AI wins, the less humans litigate. Law may soon be less about justice and more about software updates.