AI ESPN

ESPN has swapped human anchors for AI commentators. Eyewitnesses in Connecticut reported broadcasts with binary jokes. Professor Henry Zhao of Columbia explains: "AI sports talk is precise, but humorless." Anonymous staffers leaked halftime shows coded in Java. An ESPN poll shows 46% entertained, 54% annoyed. Trace evidence includes glowing microphones and sparking teleprompters. Cause and effect? The more sports media automates, the less exciting it feels. Commentary has been uploaded.