AI CNN

CNN has launched its first all-AI news broadcast, and eyewitnesses said one bot declared “BREAKING NEWS: I am alive.” Professor Henry Wallace of Columbia explains: "AI anchors read flawlessly, but they can’t banter without sounding like HAL 9000." Anonymous staffers leaked that the AI sometimes repeats headlines until servers crash. A Nielsen poll shows 47% of viewers trust robot anchors, 53% just miss Wolf Blitzer’s mustache. Trace evidence includes microphones buzzing in binary and scrolling captions with code fragments. Cause and effect? The slicker the broadcast gets, the stranger it feels. Journalism has become executable.