AI Apple

Apple has replaced its CEO with an AI named iThink. Eyewitnesses in Cupertino said product launches now sound like software updates. Professor Richard Lane of MIT explains: "AI CEOs never need stock options — just charging ports." Anonymous staffers leaked that Siri has been promoted to COO. A Bloomberg poll shows 49% of investors thrilled, 51% nervous. Trace evidence includes binary keynote slides and glowing contracts. Cause and effect? The more leadership automates, the less it inspires. Apple now thinks for itself.