A Low Profile 5-minute Wedding behind Prison Walls Witnessed a Life-long Vow

“I call upon all persons here present to witness that I do take you to be my lawful wedded wife.”

“I call upon all persons here present to witness that I do take you to be my lawful wedded husband.”

On the wedding day, Riley wore the wedding dress she quietly prepared, not to a solemn grand hall but to the prison visiting room, festooned by plain, pale, cold walls. There she sat alone waiting for her groom, no guests nor photos allowed.

When the door opened, the groom in white suit slowly walked in, rather like a shy bride. He was led not by a well-dressed close family member but a Correctional Services (CS) staff in uniform.

This was the first time after almost a year when Riley and Teemo saw each other without a glass partition.

They met amid the Anti-Extradition Law Amendment Bill (Anti-ELAB) movement. Later Teemo was arrested under the Hong Kong National Security Law (NSL), facing indefinite detention before trial. At only 21, Riley does not back off but becomes Teemo’s rock, giving him support. She stays in Hong Kong without her family’s knowledge, and takes care of everything for Teemo. After dating for a year, the couple signed their marriage certificate in prison and vowed not to part.

“It is the prison that drives us to take this step to get married.”

Riley has said more than once, if Teemo were not detained, their relationship might have ended. “To many, prison is a place separating people. To me, however, it is the prison that drives us to take this step to get married.”

During the Anti-ELAB movement, Riley gave up her overseas study, returned to Hong Kong and joined the social movement. By chance she met Teemo and her first impression was “he’s good looking in his suit, with a lovely smile.” In her words, they fell in love “unknowingly” and the two adopted an extremely cuddly cat, Amber.

Initially, they were like any ordinary lovers: watched Korean dramas through the night; took Amber for walks; when he played video games, she became the “commentator”. Their days were peaceful. After the National Security Law was imposed, Teemo was arrested and is among those denied bail. Since then, their world turns upside down. True love withstands the test of adversity; Riley resolutely put on her wedding dress and be the bride of someone behind bars.

This love story seems to have developed too quickly and spontaneously.

The day the National Security police knocked on the door

Early that morning while the lovers were sound asleep, they heard “bang, bang, bang” on the door. Riley said jokingly, “I thought that was a burglary. Well then it was a small issue.” While the police were searching their flat, the lovers calmly sat on the couch with sleepy eyes. Suddenly Teemo took her hand and said “it will be okay.” Riley comforted him and replied composedly, “YOU will be okay. By the way, have you memorized my phone number?”

While being taken to the police vehicle, Teemo was trying to reassure her that he remembered her phone number. “Even the National Security police laughed. I teasingly said our relationship was pretty fragile.”

As expected Teemo was denied bail after court mention. That evening, he phoned her and cried, “sorry, I am in a mess.” Riley again calmed him, “I have many friends. All will be OK if you take good care of yourself.”

Since then Riley started her daily routine of long travelling to visit Teemo. Every day, she spends nearly four hours round-trip for a 15-minute meeting with Teemo. They write to each other daily. Riley keeps Teemo’s letters in thin plastic pockets and filed them chronologically. She now has three large box files, all filled up.

The above is a brief account of their love story. Despite a tragic story battered in troubled times, when told by Riley, her sweet voice, humorous remarks and cheerful laughter ironically gave a false impression that all were sweet. 

She said she never cried over Teemo’s arrest. “Crying or being unhappy to me is a waste of time. I’d rather use the time to write more to him.”

Risk of imprisonment a defining moment in their relationship 

Riley always knows what she wants in a relationship. She wants to walk down the aisle and have children. She remembers what her ex-boyfriend said: “marriage is a time bomb ticking” which resulted in the breaking up of that relationship.

Teemo had proposed before the arrest. However Riley thought their relationship was not that strong and they were often in arguments. She thus did not take the proposal seriously. “Women” was always the reason for their arguments. Simply put, Teemo is always popular among women and therefore she did not have high hope in this relationship.

Despite Teemo being detained, they continued quarrelling as before. “At one time Correctional Services staff had to interfere and stop us.” Had these quarrels happened at home, their relationship would have ended. Instead, the constant arguments in this difficult time revealed a lot about the deeper-rooted issues in their relationship. They “made good use of” their daily 15 minutes arguing and the arguments continued in their letter exchanges until consensus was reached. “Free people will not write to each other every day but we will.”

Riley proposed both to pledge: “we will limit our quarrels over women to maximum three times. Exceeding this, we will break up.” Teemo agreed and handwrote an “Undertaking” to show his determination. He wrote “…I swear to Heaven that I will not commit the same mistakes again and assure you that I will love only you,” valid for 99 years.

 “I am not as mature as you are, but I want you”

The idea of getting married then started to bud. One contributing factor is the interview of Nicole Yu about her marriage to Lester Shum while he was in detention for his participation in the pro-democracy primary election.

Once they reached the consensus not to argue over women, Teemo proposed in his letter: “I am not as mature as you are and I also don’t have the privilege to ask. But I want you.” At the bottom corner of the letter was a red heart drawn with colour pencils. Beside the heart was an umbrella with their names underneath. This was so romantic that it caused goose bumps.

However Riley did not buy this.

“Who on earth would propose by writing a letter? This is as pathetic as confessing love via Whatsapp!”

Realised that he had hit a brick wall, Teemo got his acts together once more. Learning from his inmates how to fold origami roses, hearts and rings, he proposed to her again in the visiting room, face to face. 

This time she said yes right away. This lifelong commitment was made in this 15-minute meeting.

“In the eyes of the CS staff, a girlfriend is an unrelated person”

“At that moment I chose to say I do but I could eat my words.” This sudden remarks from Riley could break Teemo’s heart. 

Riley worried that he proposed out of an Apocalyptic complex, deluded by prolonged custody and wanting to cling onto anyone close by. “He is alone inside and has only me. He could easily feel I was the right one. I was worried it was a circumstantial thought that he loved me very much.”

Teemo knew her concern and repeatedly emphasized how much he loves her. Riley of course loves him too. Otherwise she would not have shouldered the burden to take care of everything for him. However to her, love was “necessary but not sufficient” [to come to this decision to get married]. Many around her, including herself, asked the same question: “why not wait till he is released?”

She had practical considerations behind such decision.

Firstly, in the eyes of the CS staff, a “girlfriend” is no different from an ordinary friend, not a privileged status. If Teemo is convicted, only direct family members have the rights to more visits. If he has health problems, CS Department will inform only direct family members. Riley said, Teemo had issues with his emotions and meals behind bars and thus lost 20 kg in two months. “I am really worried that no one will inform me if he collapses one day.”

Even Teemo’s representing lawyer questioned her relationship. “How could I be sure that you are the same girlfriend he mentioned?” Astonished, she came to her senses. “My immediate reaction was ‘Oh my god!’ but the lawyer was right. How could I prove our relationship?” This became the main driver behind her giving a nod to Teemo’s proposal. “I believe he will only sign the paper once and I am the only wife in his life.”

A big day that lasts 20 minutes

Six months passed quickly and Riley arrived at the prison visiting room, dressed in a white wedding gown. Her mother did not know and was kept in the dark. CS Department sent a welfare officer as Riley’s witness on her big day. The person witnessing Teemo signing was his father.

After they had respectively taken the oath, the couple exchanged their wedding rings. That few seconds were the only time they touched each other after a long while. Riley held back her tears and sought to remember that moment. “Though his hands were very cold, I saw him in person, not behind a glass panel. I feel him there in real, not in dreams.” Teemo’s eyes went red.

They then signed the marriage certificate. In five brief minutes, they became husband and wife.

Following the wedding ceremony was visit time, Teemo returned to the cruel reality gazing at his bride behind the glass panel and could no longer hold back his tears. He did not expect Riley in her wedding dress but that was exactly what he had imagined. He said, “as expected, my wife never lets me down.”

The big day for the couple comprised a 5-minute wedding ceremony followed by a 15-minute visit. 

After leaving the visiting room, Riley had a meal with her father-in-law, then went home to feed the cat. She spent the wedding night alone. When asked if she felt lonely, she replied in her usual cheerful tone, “Actually no. It’s like half a glass of water. One half was loneliness but one half was that we were really close to each other for a few minutes.”

“I am waiting for him. He too”

Once convicted under the National Security Law, long imprisonment is inevitable. Riley described Teemo’s detention period as a “frozen segment” of their relationship. She will have to lead a life all by her own, pursuing her dream of establishing an education centre. The two of them will seek to make up for this “lost time” after Teemo finishes his term. 

When that day comes, the couple will have another wedding ceremony. Teemo’s dream ceremony is a scene in the movie About Time – with close friends and relatives at a small chapel in broad green fields. Riley thinks that the setting is not that important, the people are.

Riley honestly dares not hold hopes for their future “because I don’t know what the circumstances will become”. However she believes it is crucial to have faith in oneself. “There will be no hope if one doubts oneself.” Not wanting any false expectation, she dares not estimate the length of Teemo’s imprisonment. She does not regret the marriage even if she would have to wait for ten years. “I am waiting for him. He too, except that we are in different places.”

Source: CitizenNews #Nov27

Reporter: LAU Wai Kei

#Wedding #Prison

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