A Young Girl To Say

A Young Girl To Say
A young woman who makes her first formal appearance in society

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To Afrikaans
To Albanian
To Amharic
To Arabic
To Armenian
To Azerbaijani
To Basque
To Belarusian
To Bengali
To Bosnian
To Bulgarian
To Catalan
To Cebuano
To Chichewa
To Chinese
To Corsican
To Croatian
To Czech
To Danish
To Dutch
To Esperanto
To Estonian
To Farsi
To Filipino
To Finnish
To French
To Frisian
To Galician
To Georgian
To German
To Greek
To Gujarati
To Haitian Creole
To Hausa
To Hebrew
To Hindi
To Hmong
To Hungarian
To Icelandic
To Igbo
To Indonesian
To Irish
To Italian
To Japanese
To Javanese
To Kannada
To Kazakh
To Khmer
To Korean
To Kurdish
To Kyrgyz
To Lao
To Latin
To Latvian
To Lithuanian
To Luxembourgish
To Macedonian
To Malagasy
To Malay
To Malayalam
To Maltese
To Maori
To Marathi
To Mongolian
To Burmese
To Nepali
To Norwegian
To Polish
To Portuguese
To Punjabi
To Romanian
To Russian
To Samoan
To Scots Gaelic
To Serbian
To Sesotho
To Shona
To Sinhala
To Slovak
To Slovenian
To Somali
To Spanish
To Sundanese
To Swahili
To Swedish
To Tajik
To Tamil
To Telugu
To Thai
To Turkish
To Ukrainian
To Urdu
To Uzbek
To Vietnamese
To Welsh
To Xhosa
To Yiddish
To Yoruba
To Zulu

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You're a parent. You may not be bilingual in the traditional, put-it-on-your-resume sense, but if you're experiencing the adventure that is raising a teenage daughter, you do know another language. Teen Speak is more fluid than standard English and more comical than pig Latin, and you have to be fluent in it to communicate with (and eavesdrop on) your pubescent princess. Slang varies from region to region, but some teen girl terminology — and the accompanying sentiments, gestures and eye rolls — is just universal.
I’m Vine/Instagram/Twitter/Tumblr famous.
Mrs./Mr. [Insert Teacher Name] just doesn’t like me.
OMG, you’re treating me like a child!
I’m going to be married by time I’m 25. Probably to [insert name of celebrity heartthrob—in our case, it’s Kendrick Lamar].

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OhmyGod. (I’m nervous.) Ooooh my God. (I’m excited!) Oh. My. God. (I’m stunned.) Oh my GOD. (I’m annoyed.)
Clearly, I’m important because my fabulousness has garnered quite a social media following. Catch up.
I’m under the impression that being homeschooled means laying around watching reruns of “Ridiculousness” and texting friends who have the misfortune of actually being in a school building.
You’re talking too much. Your outfit is too much. Whatever you’re doing, your attempt is excessive and unsuccessful.
Chemistry homework is a form of torture, I don’t feel doing it and the only power I have against it is to question its worth in my future.
I, as a human being, am so dramatically different, so uniquely complex from anyone who has ever been a teenager, I am beyond comprehension. I’m almost mystical.
What you are saying is so golden that everyone in the room needs to hear it.
I’m done with the conversation and don’t wish to continue addressing the matter at hand.
I like it! I enthusiastically affirm it.
I’m impressed by her hair, makeup and outfit. She looks great.
I’m not doing well in a class and I feel better about it when I blame the person who teaches it.
I’ll wait until the far ends of time to get to it and when you remind me, I’ll get huffy and accuse you of nagging me.
No seriously. Can you buy me a new phone tomorrow?
I’m making all kinds of sarcastic comments in my head that would get me roundhoused in real life, so rather than blurt out what I know would lead to swift and epic disaster and an installment plan of punishment, I’ll render an expressionless glare as my weapon.
I don’t agree with the decisions you’re making on my behalf, so even though I’m claiming to be mature, I will whine and sulk like a kid.
No offense, Mommy, but I’m sure my dating life is going to turn out way better than yours.
I’m under the impression that legally becoming an adult will be an instant celebration of independence and liberation. In short, I’m setting myself for a rude awakening.
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Three Surprising Ways to Reuse Coffee Grounds
Three Surprising Ways to Reuse Coffee Grounds
This weekend, my daughter, who is eight, had an amazing soccer tournament. She hustled, made smart, strategic passes, and executed some gorgeous crosses in front of goal. She also scored seven times, helping her team win the final and take home the trophy.
Then someone (who shall remain nameless), as I was hyping up how well she played, interjected, “And guess what? While you were playing, a group boys stopped and pointed at you and said, Who’s that girl? She’s so cute .”
Not only was it a lie (it was an all girl’s tournament, the only boys there were a few bored younger brothers glued to devices), it implied that she should be more excited by boys thinking she was cute while playing than by her actual playing . No harm was intended, of course ; it was this person’s version of a compliment. But why, pray tell, should my strong, fast, fierce daughter who just kicked ass in back-to-back games be excited by being cute while she did it ? (Also : she is eight .)
The idea that a girl’s attention should be diverted away from those accomplishments to be happy that boys were looking at her is obviously antiquated and absurd. The only saving grace in this interaction was that my daughter blessedly had zero clue what this person was talking about, or why she should care. That let me know, at least, this type of BS beauty-based praise-baiting is n’ t on her radar. At least not y et.
But it reminded me that the way we have traditionally spoken to young girls, and the toxic messages embedded within that speaking, are bothersome at best and confidence-eroding at worst. The traditional focus on girls’ appearance when they’re little can cause their looks be an overwhelming factor in their self-worth as an adult. The National Organization for Women reports that by age 13, more than half of American girls are unhappy with their bodies, (growing to 78% by age 17). Similarly, The Children’s Society’s Good Childhood Report 2016 found that more than one-third of girls age 10-15 in the UK are unhappy with the way they look.
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The tricky part is, kids are super cute. It’s hard not to compliment kids on their appearance when they’ re all spruced up (especially when their hair is be-decked with bows, feet click-clacking in Mary Janes, or when you genuinely like their sparkly nail polish). We’re not saying never compliment these things, b ut we need to avoid focusing on the cuteness to the detriment of celebrating that child’s other qualities (intelligence, energy, thoughtfulness, or curiosity, to name a few.)
The point is not to shame anyone for using these knee-jerk go-to phrases; it’s how we’ve been trained as a society to talk to girls and women. (If I can go to book club without someone’s haircut, clothes, makeup, purse, or earrings being mentioned in the first five minutes, then strike me dead.) The point is to bring alternatives to the classic appearance-based tropes that roll so effortlessly off our tongues when talking to little girls.
Next time, rather than a litany of: “ You look so cute,” “I love your dress,” “what a princess you are,” “look at your pretty nails ,” and the dreadful “ how many boyfriends do you have?,” try one or more of these alternatives to connect with the little girls in your life.
What did you like most about that book?
When I was your age, my favorite book was ____.
What is your favorite thing to do right now?
It seems like you are really good at ____.
What did you do that was kind today?
I’d love to see your favorite toy. Can you show me?
Do you play video games? What’s your favorite?
You seem so happy today! What are you thinking about?
What’s your favorite thing about school?
If you find yourself glitching trying not to compliment something about how they look, try shifting the focus away from a value judgment like pretty, beautiful, or cute and make descriptive, neutral statements instead. Things like:
Wow, you are wearing so much purple! Is that your favorite color?
Those shoes are cool. Do they light up?
I love sequins. Can I borrow your shirt sometime?
I had shoes/a dress/hair clips just like that when I was a kid.
I bet those sneakers help you run really fast, don’t they?
Hopefully, with enough de-emphasis on appearance and redirection to their inner qualities and interests, we can un-train girls that how they look is the most noticeable, important thing about them.

Roget's 21st Century Thesaurus, Third Edition Copyright © 2013 by the Philip Lief Group.
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Roget's 21st Century Thesaurus, Third Edition Copyright © 2013 by the Philip Lief Group.

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