A Threesome

A Threesome

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three·some

| \ ˈthrē-səm

\

1

: a group of three persons or things : trio

2

: a golf match in which one person plays his or her ball against the ball of two others playing each stroke alternately

3

: a sexual encounter involving three people

the threesome has been playing music together since all three were in high school

you don't see many threesomes at honeymoon resorts, but one bride had brought along her mother

Jeongeun Lee6, the 2019 U.S. Open champion, began the barrage as a member of the first threesome on the course.

—

Bill Center, San Diego Union-Tribune , 26 Mar. 2022

Another said the former pastor asked her to have a threesome with him and his wife.

—

Cory Shaffer, cleveland , 26 May 2022

This isn’t the smile of his Insecure character, Lawrence Walker, after accidentally charming his way into a threesome .

—

Keith Nelson, Men's Health , 17 May 2022

The final threesome of Theegala, Koepka and Scheffler goes off at 11:05 a.m. Schauffele, Talor Gooch and Patrick Cantlay are all two shots off the lead and tee off at 10:54.

—

Theo Mackie, The Arizona Republic , 12 Feb. 2022

For a while, the threesome embrace their lives as a ménage a trois, until jealousy shatters their arrangement.

—

Vogue , 28 July 2021

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These example sentences are selected automatically from various online news sources to reflect current usage of the word 'threesome.' Views expressed in the examples do not represent the opinion of Merriam-Webster or its editors. Send us feedback .

14th century, in the meaning defined at sense 1
“Threesome.” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary , Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/threesome. Accessed 11 Jul. 2022.
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For many of us, threesomes are the kind of sexploits that only happen in the movies. But they don’t have to be permanently relegated to the realm of fantasy. With a little forethought and planning, you can make a three-way tryst a very sexy reality. Here's how.
If you're a single woman, Morse suggests dating sites, like Plenty of Fish , where couples may be looking for a third. The same goes for CraigsList—although she warns that you might find lots of weirdos, so you'll want to FaceTime or, better yet, meet them in a public place in person first. Other sites like FetLife and 3nder are also worth checking out. Another option is to go to your local sex toy store and talk to someone there, says Morse. You can ask the owners or clerks about what goes on in the community and probably find some fliers for parties or clubs.
Keep in mind that whether it's two women and a man or two men and a woman is entirely up to you as an individual or as a couple, although female-female-male is more common because guys tend to be less open-minded about including another man. That being said, a woman should never cave in just because her partner is pushing his preference. "It should never be a quid pro quo," says Morse. "You should want to do it."
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If that goes well, then you can think about making a more direct ask. "Keep it light, and keep it fun," says Morse. A simple, "Hey, my partner and I think you're fun and you're cool. We want to have a threesome, and we think you'd be a good time. Is that something you'd be open to?" should do the trick. If you know the person, make it clear that you don't want the friendship to change. If it's a stranger or someone you connected with online, take some time to get to know each other first. Hang out to see if you're attracted to the person and could trust them.
But don't worry too much about making the big ask. The person on the receiving end will be flattered, no matter what.
(And don’t think making a certain activity off-limits will make your threesome worse, says Morse. "It can be really thrilling to have a threesome without penetration.")
If you’re in a relationship, you and your partner may also want to designate a safe word or phrase you can use in case things veer off course. "I need to get some water" or "I'm thirsty" are both good options. You should also tell the third person to speak up if he or she is ever uncomfortable.
Massage is also a great gateway to intimacy. Emily & Tony massage candles turn into a luxurious oil when blown out. You can use them to give a relaxing body rub that will seamlessly set the mood.
As for good positions to try, Morse suggests the guy lie on his back and enjoy oral sex from one woman while the other woman straddles his face so he can perform oral on her. Or have one woman lie on her back as the other woman lies on top of her. Then, the guy can enter the woman on top doggy style while the women touch one another. Another option: Arrange yourselves in a circle, and go down on each other.
"There are so many places to put our hands, our genitals, our mouths,” says Morse. “If you have a free hand or tongue, just get in there.”
If it ever seems like one party is left out, reach over and start playing with that person. This will help them get back in on the action.

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Carina Hsieh
Sex & Relationships Editor
Carina Hsieh lives in NYC with her French Bulldog Bao Bao — follow her on Instagram and Twitter • Candace Bushnell once called her the Samantha Jones of Tinder • She enjoys hanging out in the candle aisle of TJ Maxx and getting lost in Amazon spirals.

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Pro tip: Make sure the bed is actually big enough for all three of you to sleep in together afterward.
While having a threesome right now is def not the best idea given the pandemic, the idea of ye olde ménage à trois remains one of the most popular evergreen sexual bucket list activities in healthier times. And why shouldn’t it be? A threesomes isn’t just the male-oriented fantasy that pop culture makes it out to be sometimes. There are plenty of reasons a woman would also want and seek out a threesome—and you should be encouraged to explore that territory if it’s something that turns you on. Whether you’re in a committed couple finding a third, looking to join an existing couple in a threesome as their unicorn or invite a third into your relationship, or just trying it out amongst friends, it’s easier to have a threesome than you’d think.
Sure, there can be planning involved, but if you’re going to go by movie standards, it’s rarely the wordless kissing of a tangle of strangers and then waking up the next morning as if nothing happened. You’ve gotta talk it out and make sure everyone’s on board, and sleeping on the decision is never a bad idea.
Before we get into the stories of three anonymous women who have dabbled in threesome arts, here’s a quick list of their tips for having a successful threesome—from experience!
Woman A: I had actually just lost my virginity to the guy that week, but we had been talking for a while. The both of us went out with my friend and one thing led to another. I figured “go big or go home.”
Woman B: I was single, and I volunteered to be the unicorn with a M/F couple I met on Tinder.
Woman C: Nope. It was me and two random guys I met at bar.
Woman A: Both my friend and I were always open to the idea of threesomes, but it definitely wasn’t planned. She just didn’t go home at the end of the night, and suddenly we were all in bed.
Woman B: The boyfriend of the couple was the one who ran the account, although both of their pictures were on the profile. This proved contentious when I ended up enjoying her company a lot more than his—he wouldn’t let me text her directly, which I maintain was because he was afraid we’d run off together!
Woman C: One of the two guys, who I’d approached at a bar in the wee morning hours of New Year’s 2020.
Woman A: I really liked the dude I was seeing, but I didn’t expect it to go anywhere, so there wasn’t a real pressure if it went badly. My friend, I knew it would never be weird, so when the opportunity came up, I thought why not. The handful of beers definitely helped as well.
Woman B: As a bisexual person on Tinder, I get a lot of “unicorn” offers, most of which I turn down. That said, when the guy told me he was reading transcripts from the Salem Witch Trials and his girlfriend was an aerialist like me, I was sold on the idea of at least going on a date with the pair of them—I figured I was in for a weird, fun evening and something that would eventually be a story, if nothing else.
Woman C: It was quite serendipitous, actually. I approached one of the guys and started flirting with him, thinking, Hey, it’s New Year’s, maybe we’ll make out or something . But then he introduced me to his friend and asked if I wanted to have a threesome. I thought I was being punk’d and asked them a bunch of times whether they were serious, and they insisted they were. I told them to buy condoms to prove it, and they went to the bodega around the corner and each bought a pack, which I thought was very funny.
Woman A: I hate to be that person but it just happened!
Woman B: Scheduling a date with one person is a nightmare; scheduling with two is exponentially worse! We didn’t go home together after the first date (it was a Monday night and who wants that), meaning it took us two weeks of frustrating texting to lock down a second, by which time we all wanted to kill each other, especially because we kept teasing and competing with each other.
Woman C: Honestly, it was so easy. There was no planning. It was a gift dropped into my lap to kick off 2020, and I am so grateful.
Woman A: I think I’m actually way more nervous about any potential future threesomes than I was that night.
Woman B: I found that having a threesome amplified the “Am I going to get murdered?” factor that comes with any app date. Something about a couple talking about how they have never done this before but are so excited to play with you (yikes) really ups the potential cartoon villain ante.
Woman C: They were two random guys I met and who proposed a threesome. I was like, What’s their deal? Are they gonna murder me? Why me? But to be fair, I did look amazing that night, and I introduced my roommate who was out with me to them first to get a gut check on the situation.
Woman A: We both were a little tipsy and he kept trying to show us this movie. We were decidedly not into that, so we all went to bed. I laid in the middle, fully okay to either fall asleep or do something. I think she started rubbing his head and that got him into it. He never actually had penetrative sex with her, and it was mostly overwhelming for me as the center of it all, TBH.
Woman B: The Tinder girlfriend opened the door to me in a trench coat that opened to reveal a full-body fishnet stocking, which set the bar for hotness incredibly high.
Woman C: I had just had a New Year’s party, so I offered them some snacks and a drink but they declined. I went to the bathroom to freshen up (aka pee and give myself a pep talk in the mirror), and when I came back, one of the guys had turned on some weird EDM music and they were in their boxers on my bed.
Woman A: I think he went down on me while I made out with her. And at some point, she and I took turns going down on each other. I still had some booze coursing through my system and I bit her nipple a bit too hard.
Woman B: Up in their apartment, they had set the lights to red neon (which didn’t help the “Am I going to get murdered?” vibe, but I was into it at that point). Hilariously, they had a floor mattress set up, so we basically wrecked the living room. We took turns going down on her and getting her off, then they took turns on me, then she went down on him while I rode his face and then got on top.
Woman C: There was making out with both of them, some oral here and there, and both of them fucked me. I think one of them touched my butthole, which was new to me, but I was more into it than I expected.
Woman A: Not really. I think it was more overwhelming than I thought, but it could’ve just been that it wasn’t as cohesive as some threesomes are. He was very much more into me, since we were seeing each other. It felt a little disjointed.
Woman B: It was balanced and fun, a lot more fun than I expected. We had gotten so intense about each other so fast that actually sleeping together defused a huge amount of the tension.
Woman C: It was way less capital-S sexy than I imagined. Like, two guys, one girl, isn’t that supposed to be a gal’s dream? But honestly, it was just so many dicks. Too many dicks.
But honestly, it was just so many dicks. Too many dicks.
Woman A: Just trying to figure out how not to make it feel like a group chat where someone’s just getting ignored the whole time.
Woman B: Not with the sex. The texting and scheduling was the absolute nightmare, and having to go through him while not being able to talk to her set up an incredibly stressful dynamic.
Woman C: Like I said, too many dicks. And penetration doesn’t do much for me—I really only orgasm from oral—so eventually, things were getting rubbed a little raw and I never even orgasmed. When we turned on the lights at the end, I saw I’d bled a little and I was embarrassed, so my drunk ass decided the best way to handle it was to gasp and say, “Did you bleed on my bed?” As if it weren’t the girl who just got pounded by two separate dicks.
Woman A: Neither of us (me and my friend) had been with a girl before, so it was definitely exciting and new. Plus, I literally had just lost my virginity days prior.
Woman B: She had never been with a woman before and was visibly thrilled and astonished every time she and I did anything together. I will never f
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