A Spiders Lust

A Spiders Lust
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Published 7 Dec 2018, 08:57 GMT , Updated 15 Mar 2021, 11:59 GMT
This brown widow spider was photographed for Photo Ark at the Audubon Nature Institute.
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Copyright © 1996-2015 National Geographic Society. Copyright © 2015-2021 National Geographic Partners, LLC. All rights reserved
When seeking sex, why wouldn’t the male Latrodectus geometricus spider go for the nice young females? They’re more fertile than their elders. They’ll mate more quickly, without an elaborate courtship. Last but not least: young L. geometricus females don’t cap off a copulation by cannibalising their date—while older females do. (That’s what gave the species its common name: the widow spider.)
Given the obvious advantages, a research team in Israel expected L. geometricus males to prefer young females. To test that assumption, researchers set up spider orgies, offering males access to consorts of all ages. Their findings were published in Animal Behaviour .
To get sex with an older female, a male might fight off many rivals or perform courtship gestures for up to six hours. At the magical moment, he’d place one of his two sexual organs into one of her two sexual openings—and she would start to eat him alive. If he survived, he might try to mate again or be too maimed to do so.
In the study, when males had one-on-one time with females of different ages, the males mated with fewer than half the youngest females—but 100 percent of the oldest ones. Not one of the males that mated with the youngest females died from cannibalism—but more than half those that mated with the oldest females did. “We really don’t understand” males’ suicidal lust for older mates, says study co-author Shevy Waner. One theory is that mature females exude stronger sex pheromones, compensating chemically for what they lack in fertility and youth.
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Date and time: Wed, 10 Aug 2022 14:05:13 GMT

TIFU by underestimating a spiders intelligence and blood/sweet tea lust.
Comment deleted by user · 5 yr. ago
So this story spans about 2 weeks. Over the summer, I have been working at an internship for $company in $nowhere Oklahoma. Not the town Nowhere but just somewhere in the middle of Oklahoma. I am renting a room from some people that own a house near $company. They have a place for me to park my truck by the side of the house, next to some fire wood and a sort of wooded area. Anyways, about 2 weeks ago, I notice a big spider web in my truck bed. Im not particularly scared of spiders...but I do not like them in my room, truck or on me. But I thought, "its not hurting anyone, I'll just leave it until I need my truck bed." That was my big FU. Because it was about the size of a quarter and a bright OSU orange.
Over the next week or so, I noticed some cool patterns in my bed and just thought "Cool! Look at that design!" The next week, I commuted back home and my father helped me wash my truck. I didnt think of the spider and didnt find him anywhere while we were washing it. So I just thought that he died or moved on.
That takes us to day. I’m back in $nowhere, Oklahoma and I had the munchies for Freddies Stake burgers. I went to the drive through to get my burger. The cashier woman handed my my burger and my fries. And while she was trying to hand me my drink, this big ass spider jumps from my room MI3 style onto my succulent sweet tea. She, of course, flips out, throwing my drink and also the spider into the air. I, with my amazing reflexes, catch my drink upside down in a way so that the lid comes off and washes the spider onto the ground with a rush of that cool, cool sweet tea. She apologizes and gets me a new drink. I go home thinking that that will be the last of it but no. He somehow climbed back onto my truck and positioned himself on the middle of my driver side door.
After I climb out of my truck, I notice that he is sitting there rubbing his sticky bastard feelers in a diabolical way and has somehow figured out how to change his color from OSU orange to death black. I knew that I would either have to deal with him now or tomorrow morning at 6am when I go to work. I ran inside and grabbed a cup of water and ran back outside. To my surprise, he was gone! That sneaky bastard knew I would come back with something to try to at least get rid of him and hid somewhere on my truck. Now, again, I'm not scared of spiders...however, this...thing! Has already attacked me (or maybe my sweet tea) and has taunted me in that evil spidery way. So I start looking around my truck thinking hes just trying to find someplace to make a web or something. After about 5 minutes of looking I think back to how he attacked me before. He jumped. Off of the roof. So I think “No, that was just a coincidence.” So I decided to get in the bed of my truck to check the roof. And there he is. That bitch of a spider is sitting right above the drivers door in a way that you can only see him from above! Waiting for me to climb back into my truck so he can make his next move!
He must have noticed that I found him because he turned to me and looked into my soul with his beady little eyes. After judging me to be his next target he, once again, jumps from the roof MI3 style onto the drivers door in a desperate way to escape. I was a little stunned because I have only seen squirrels and cats plot the destruction of man. So, I jump down from my truck bed, next to the right rear tire. Slowly walk over to the door only to see that he has dispersed again. Now at this point, I should have realized that my truck is no longer worth the trouble and I should have doused it in gasoline and burned it. But I was too scared of letting him learn about the destructive force that is know as fire.
I search around again and find him hiding beneath my driver side mirror. Now this probably didn't happen but I was starting to freak out a bit and I swear I heard him hiss at me. I poured a little water on the mirror and he fucking jumped about 2 feet to my driver side window! I wasn't expecting that so jumped back and threw the rest of the water at him. It was a pretty damn good shot because it washed him off of my truck and about 5 feet away into the wood chips. I swear he hissed at me again and ran off. So now I’m hiding in my room with my trusty Dean Marten lighter and a bottle of hair spray just in case. I don't know how to kill a spider that has somehow adapted in such a way that it can change the color of its skin; is the size of a quarter and now probably has the taste for blood and, very likely, the taste for sweet tea. I hope that fire will have some effect on it so if anyone knows where I can buy some fireproof paint (preferably blue) for my truck or maybe a clear coat, I would very much like to know so I can shoot fire at him if he tries to MI3 me again.
TL:DR: Orange spider that is the size of a quarter learns how to change colors, learns the sweet taste of blood or maybe sweet tea and tries to kill me or kidnap my sweet tea. He hisses at me and plots his next move. I need to know where to get fire proof car paint in case of retaliation.
Edit: So I thought I should update you guys on the day after my encounter with what I can only assume is an apostate of Satan. Anyhow, this morning I carefully approached my truck with my lighter and hairspray in hand ready for the impending attack. And after a short inspection and a few ignorant remarks from my neighbor, I determined that the said apostate had run off. On my ride to work, I was most worried that he had webbed up my engine so he could attack me when I go to fix my engine, (you can tell I watch too many movies) but that didn't happen. My desk had a few more webs on it than usual and I'm pretty sure HR would be pretty pissed if I tried to cleanse my desk with fire so I just cleaned it with sanitary wipes. Have yet to see that little bastard and hopefully yesterday was the last and only attack...but paranoia (and too many movies) tell me that hes just waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike. Still wondering where to get some flame retardant paint so I can blast killer spiders of biblical proportion off of my truck.
You can't kill him until the slider gets identified.
Just think if this hissing spider was brand new you can name it,
Well I'm not going to try to catch him if that's what you're suggesting. I've seen enough jerrasic park to know that's a bad idea. I will however try to photograph him if he stays still but if he as much as looks at me wired I'm setting him on fire.
Judging by the bloodlust, it was probably a baby Acromantula in disguise
Plot twist, the spider thought you were being attacked.
Terrifying... nightmare inducing... TIFU by reading this before I go to sleep
Keep calm and keep a blowtorch near. Spiders can't survive fire right? RIGHT?
I can totally relate, was hiking last year and I saw a tick climbing on my leg when I stopped to rest; flicked it off and it landed a few feet away and I thought that was that - didn't do me any harm so I figured I'd let it be. I was keeping an eye on it while I was munching on some snacks and I saw it flip itself over and walking (crawling?) in my general direction. It made a beeline for me and just as it got to my boot, I lifted it up on a piece of grass and gave it a taste of my bic lighter and it was no more. Suffice to say, arachnids are not to be trifled with!
Just use a shotgun and blow the motherfucker off the face of this planet. Then set fire to the truck and use the insurance money to buy a new one

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