A Finger In The Bum

A Finger In The Bum
An expression used by people from North Reading meaning to procrastinate or be generally unproductive and lazy .
A word used by people from Reading to indicate procrastination
to place ones finger , in ones bum whilst under instruction to only place fingers in the vagina.
a particularly sick individual who is not satisfide with the usual five finger shuffle , and feels it nessecary to penertrate his own rectum with 1,2 or even three fingers whilst beating one off, adding to his own miss guided feeling of sexual gratification.
The act of fingering your asshole with your finger/fingers covered in soap , while masterbating .
insertion of a finger into the anus whilst " jackin it "
Putting your finger in your bum to aid wanking if you have taken a load of oats and it's taking a while!
The act of kissing ones partner standing face on and flanking a sneaky finger into the anus to cause surprise
This phrase can be used to put emphasis on how giddy a friend, colleague or a familiar is.

It is usually used when said people have a sense of achievement or acquired something cheaper.

It can also refer to masturbating your anus with one of your fingers because you're too ugly to get laid .
A line said by the character Euron Greyjoy in episode 3, A Queens Justice, season 7 in the TV-series Game of Thrones. The phrase is used to further inquire what a specific sexual partner might enjoy during intercourse.
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A finger in the bum can make you cum, a finger in the bum is so much fun.
If you've clicked on this article you're either curious about anal fingering, a fan of butt play or a huge Dr. Seuss fan, and in that case I'm sorry.
Let's be real, over the past few years, ass play has become a pretty popular item on the menu. But if you're not keen on doing anal, or eating someone out - using a finger can be a great way to ease into it.
Also for guys or people with prostates it can apparently be one of the best orgasms of your life, all thanks to a lil' nugget of gold called the prostate aka p-spot.
Who knew digging for treasure could open a world of pleasure?
You know we love an investigation here at The Hook Up so, we asked you on our Instagram if you liked a finger in the bum during sex, and 46% of you said you loved it. We also asked cis straight men specifically if they were into it and over half of you said yes. BUT nearly 60% of you said you were too embarrassed to ask for it.
Here's what some of you dm'd us saying:
Whether someone asked you to do it, or you're keen to have someone do it to you, here's everything you need to know about anal fingering.
Most people who dm'd us saying they used their fingers to dabble in a bit of ass play, gave glowing reviews. Some even went as far to say "best orgasm of my life." So why does it feel so good? According to Men's Sex Coach Cam Fraser, it's because we have a whole bunch of nerve endings in and around that area.
"This might be a little cringey to hear, but it's the kind of the same reason why when you need to do a poo and you do a poo, it feels relatively good.
Because the receptors in there respond to pressure and temperature and friction and stretching as well. So we get a whole bunch of different types of sensation of different types of pleasure from anal play."
Cam reckons one of the other reasons why people really like butt play during sex is because it can feel a bit naughty .
"The taboo of having something penetrate you in your anus is quite psychologically stimulating and psychologically pleasurable as well."
For guys or people with prostates, using a finger for ass play can apparently lead to a whole body orgasm - because of the way you're stimulating the prostate.
If you have no idea what a prostate is, or you've only heard it referenced with cancer and not pleasure, GP Dr Michael Mrozinski (aka Dr_Michael_Says on TikTok) says it's a gland the size of a ping pong ball which sits right underneath a man's bladder.
"The function of the prostate is to produce some fluid to help give sperm the energy to go all the way into the final destination. But it also needs to contract to be able to propel the sperm all the way up."
"It's really an important part in sexual function because without that contraction of the muscle then the sperm wouldn't get anywhere near where it's needed."
And Cam says when you stimulate the prostate, you can have an orgasm separate from what you would have through penis ejaculation.
"The beauty of a prostate orgasm is that it doesn't involve an ejaculation because of the way the nervous system is wired."
"And you won't enter into a refractory period after ejaculation which is that period of time after you've cum that you kind of feel satiated and you can't get an erection and you don't really feel aroused and he can't come again."
So what does it feel like? Zac from Naarm, Melbourne says it feels amazing...
"I think it's definitely more intense. Like a full body experience, rather than an isolated orgasm experience [through the penis]."
"It can be pretty overwhelming, the first couple of times when you're just like not really sure what's going on and it's just so full on. But yeah, really incredible."
We do a lot and say a lot of stuff during sex you'd probably never do or say outside the bedroom. And sticking your fingers into a place where shit comes out is one of them. Cam reckons this is one of the reasons why people might feel embarrassed about it.
"Some people are worried it might be a little bit gross and you might get some poop on their finger, or it might just be a little bit awkward."
(And there's definitely ways to stop that from happening - we'll get into that soon).
"Another reason why people might be embarrassed is because they're worried that it's going to hurt them that there's gonna be some pain and some discomfort."
For cis het men there's also the ~ no homo vibe ~ internalised homophobia.
"So there's this fear of 'what will my partner think about me?' 'What does this mean about my own sexuality?' "
"But I can tell you this right now, the sex act that you do doesn't determine your orientation."
And then there's the classic universal fear that comes with sex in general: asking for what you want.
"We can think, 'is it selfish for me to ask this for my partner to stimulate me in this way?' 'Is it selfish to kind of put my pleasure first?' "
Cam recommends a silicone based lube "because it is thicker, and it won't dry out like a water based lube so you won't have to keep reapplying it, it'll last longer."
If you don't want to have a shitty experience, make sure you're clean down there.
"If you're trying to mitigate poo, you're going to want to make sure you're having a shower and cleaning beforehand."
"If you're worried about hygiene, you can unroll a condom and put it on your finger or pop it on a toy. And trim your nails as well."
If you've never done it before, Cam recommends a great place to start is on yourself.
"You can start exploring your glutes and your butt cheeks and maybe just the the rim of the anus before even doing any penetration. So just start to familiarise yourself with how that feels physically in your body as well."
Like Cam said before, people find it really hard to ask for what they want when it comes to sex, so if you don't know how to bring it up with a partner, Cam recomends talking about it outside of the bedroom first.
"Go for a walk, grab a cup of coffee and have a conversation with each other in like a non-sexual environment or in a non-intimidating environment."
It normalises conversations about sex, in a less vulnerable setting. But if you still find it hard to talk about you can even send them this article and just go 'thoughts?'
Remember consent is the most important thing, you can't just stick your finger in someone's ass during sex without asking first. And for the person either giving or receiving, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. You can say no!
But if you're both big yes's here's how to get into it. Firstly Cam says for this to feel good you have to be completely relaxed, so start off slow.
"So really slowing the breathing down. Making sure that if you're the receptive partner you're in a comfortable position, like a really easy position for being penetrated, is lying on your side."
"The next thing is start small, you don't have to go straight to sticking your whole fist in there or doing something really massive. You can start with just playing around with the rim and communicating with your partner as you're doing this."
"Listening to their verbal feedback and also listening to their body as well as the person who's receiving relaxes, you'll notice the sphincter will open a little bit more."
Also don't feel like that's the only thing you have to be doing.
"It can be helpful if this is their first time to incorporate genital stimulation, so stimulating their penis or vulva with either your other hand or with your mouth or with a toy."
If you're with someone who has a prostate, and have no idea what you're looking for - Cam says it's about an inch and a half in - towards the belly button.
"You can try just gently stroking it with one finger in that very classic come hither motion, you can try circling with your fingers drawing little circles around it.
And then you can also try gently pressing the prostate and holding your finger down, and then like vibrating your finger back and forth, kind of like shaking it like a little vibrator."
Also just ask your partner what feels good for them.
Let's be honest, we've got long af sex lives to live, so why not spice things up a little and try something new.
And if you've been holding back on a lil' finger up the ass, because you think it's 'gay' and gross, well Hook Up listener Cameron has a message for you:
I seriously think people who don't try it for the sake of it are missing out. You might not like it but how do you know for sure?
For all things sex and relationships subscribe to The Hook Up podcast . Listen on the triple j app or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Everyone has their own sexual desires – but not everyone likes to talk about them, feeling ashamed or embarrassed, worried that they may be judged.
But in reality, loads of us share the same sexual desires. We don’t realise this because we’re not openly talking about them.
One sexual desire, for many men, is for a finger to be inserted into the anus. It makes perfect sense, as the ‘male G spot’ is located in a male’s prostate, which is behind the anal wall. When the prostate is stimulated, it can give a man incredible amounts of pleasure.
But still, putting a finger into a man’s bum can seem taboo because people still believe that any form of anal play says something about your sexuality – despite it just being another way to explore your body and all of its pleasurable areas
Whether you’re experimenting on your own or with a partner, it’s always great to find out what you enjoy or don’t enjoy to heighten your own sexual experiences – but how can we do this when we’re scared of liking something that we feel ashamed of?
To open the conversation around anal play, we spoke to six different men to see what they thought of their own bum-fingering experiences, whether they think it’s something everyone should give a try or if it’s something they believe to be a ‘taboo’.
See below for their incredibly honest (and incredibly NSFW) answers.
Tom: ‘I personally want mine left alone but I understand it can be a really sexual area for some guys.’
Mark: ‘It depends on the situation you’re in. I’m very open (so to speak) regarding sex, and I wouldn’t dismiss my arsehole being used in a sexual way at all…’
Henry: ‘Kind of sexual, I think men’s anuses are usually pretty grimmer than women’s though!’
Rheese: ‘I’m intrigued by the idea, never done anything about it though. Would like to see what the fuss is about, maybe when I’m intoxicated with my girlfriend sometime.’
Josh: ‘I was completely against anything going up my bum until not long after I got together with my current girlfriend. Long story short, we tried it but I get nothing from it.’
James: ‘Done right it can be very enjoyable. It can add pleasure and increase stimulation.’
Mark: ‘Not really… I’ve seen it in porn and carried on masturbating.. does that count?’
Tom: ‘I have definitely fantasised about it, everyone’s a little bit curious!’
James: ‘I wouldn’t say it’s a fantasy as it’s something I have already experienced. Would I do it again? Yes. Is it something I crave? No.’
Henry: ‘Yes, definitely! Experimented a bit but not too much.’
James: ‘Knowing what your partner wants is very important… I would not say it’s a first time kind of thing to ask someone either unless you chatted about it beforehand.
‘I think most women would run a mile if you turned round early on and said “jam a thumb up my ass will you love?”. I think communication is key on this matter.’
Henry: ‘My sexual partners are really open people like myself so things have always gotten a little weirder than just “butt stuff”. I’d feel completely comfortable suggesting when I felt like it.’
Rheese: ‘Talked about it with my girlfriend, I think I would be more comfortable having it done after a few drinks.’
Tom: ‘I don’t think my partner would ever suggest it so it would only happen if I asked.’
Mark: ‘I feel it’s something that i would be more inclined to do if suggested. Maybe if myself and a partner needed to spice up our sex lives.’
Josh: ‘The first time me and my partner did it was when she was giving me head and she gave the old rusty trombone. I let her do it all the way through to see if it was any different but I can’t say it did much for me.’
Henry: ‘The person I see was already performing oral sex (possibly the best head I’ve ever had) and just naturally worked from my shaft and balls further and further down until she had her tongue in my ass. Then she came up a little and continued with her finger.’
Tom: ‘I have had someone put a finger up there but it was a bit of a shock as it wasn’t planned/discussed.’
Mark: ‘I have. Pretty certain they put their tongue there first and then it went to fingering with NO discussion at all.. I didn’t decline of course.’
James: ‘It’s happened a few times. None of it was planned. The first time was while a lady was preforming oral sex while I was sat on a couch.
‘She moved her hand under the balls and started to just play around the anus with her finger. It was a small shock at the time but I kinda thought “Ok this is not so bad”. She then slowly worked it inside little by little.
‘It was very enjoyable and added to the pleasure of the moment. On the opposite side of the scale I have had a sexual partner just stick it up with no warning. Yeah that’s not as fun and hurt. It was soon removed.’
Mark: ‘Around 8… depends how much you’re “up for it”… it’s like rushing a poo I guess; it’s way more enjoyable if you take your time.’
Henry: ‘2/10. Others have tried since with you know, no moisture, and that was sore! Definitely recommend. Loved it.’
James: ‘I have enjoyed both sides of the scale. It’s been a good 1 and a bad 10. Just like a woman you don’t just jam it in.’
Tom: ‘I’d say about a 6 purely because I wasn’t ready at all!’
Josh: ‘At first it’s pretty uncomfortable but not really painful, I’d give it a 2/10. And yeah [I enjoyed it] but probably only because I was getting head at the same time.’
Tom: ‘I’d say a one-off, but if it was really enjoyable then why not regular!’
Mark: ‘It’s not something i think about. But i’d probably allow it again.’
Josh: ‘Probably not going to do it much more but she’s gone and bought a dildo just for it. She’s really into pegging.’
James: ‘If you do it all the time it will lose its taboo and sometimes it’s nice to have one or two special treats now and then. Again I think it all comes down to your partner.
‘If you jump from sexual partner to sexual partner then it’s hard to build up a sexual relationship with that person and knowing what they really want and enjoy.’
Henry: ‘Like every now and then yeah go for it. Couldn’t see it becoming an every time thing for sure. Change it up, have fun.’
Rheese: ‘Something I can imagine becoming a not so regular occurrence but happening once in a blue moon.’
Josh: ‘Yeah I don’t see why not. I mean, if I DID like it then I wouldn’t be ashamed to say it (given I wasn’t telling my parents or something).’
James: ‘Tough question… I think it all depends on who. A close friend who listens and is not judgmental, yeah, no issues… the lads down the pub, not so much.’
Henry: ‘I think a lot of people turn a little prude when it comes to talking about sex but I’m very honest – if someone asked I’d tell them! I’m just not particularly ashamed and my friends know I’ve done some disgusting things so a finger up my arse seems pretty weak in comparison.’
Rheese: ‘I talk about it openly with my ‘lad’ mates, we’ve got a G spot there for a reason so I may utilise it at some point is my reasoning.’
Tom: ‘I would admit to liking it, I couldn’t care less what people thought.’
Mark: ‘As I said, I’m very open. So I can’t say I don’t like it. Can be quite uncomfortable however.’
Henry: ‘God knows, some people don’t even like foreplay, they can do one!
‘I think it’s just the whole thing about it being an arsehole. Sh*t is grim and I guess some people can’t even bear the possibility of maybe getting a little on them.
‘Not that I’m into poo, I’m definitely not, but obviously if you’re jamming things up there you’ve gotta be comfortable with a possible consequence.’
Tom: ‘I think there’s just a huge stigma of it being “gay” to have a finger up the bum. I’ve never really understood this, if it feels good it feels good. I definitely think more people should give it a go, myself
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