A Black Dick
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A Black Dick
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I have a problem with my dick size. It's not big and I want it to be! I guess it is about average size, and that's just not good enough! I'm also Black and the 'word' is all Black men have a large phallus. Not sure where I was when they gave them out, I obviously skipped kindergarten that day.
Psychologist, author "Intimate Partner Violence: A Culturally Competent Model for Treatment and Training
Aug 25, 2015, 03:11 PM EDT | Updated Aug 25, 2016
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Psychologist, author "Intimate Partner Violence: A Culturally Competent Model for Treatment and Training
"We the shaboinkin people. We got some shit hanging down on us ... Ya'll don't believe it? White people the ones that made up the rumor. Ya know black people got some tremendous dicks ... The Brother's dick is too big, it fucks up his balance." -- Eddie Murphy, Delirious, 1983
"I'm blessed. I'm big boneded. I'm heavy structured. I'm hung low. If I pull my shit out this whole room will get dark." -- Bernie Mac, Def Comedy Jam All Stars Vol 2, 1993
I have a problem with my dick size. It's not big and I want it to be! I guess it is about average size, and that's just not good enough!
I'm also Black and the 'word' is all Black men have a large phallus. Not sure where I was when they gave them out, I obviously skipped kindergarten that day.
At around age 12, I had a neighbor who was hung. He felt so highly about his member that he frequently had it on display. If he was not talking about it, he was challenging other kids to a dick size contest. It was not enough that he was the tallest and seemed to garner the most female attention; he had to be hung as well.
It was not just the neighborhood kids talking about the uniqueness of African American dick size. Comedian Eddie Murphy in his hit stand up Delirious and the late great entertainer Bernie Mac also discussed the apparent enormity of Black genitalia.
Meanwhile there are literally some days when I look down at my crotch and ask "is that really all you got"?
I can´t say exactly what my measurements are because I have never taken a ruler to my penis. The primary reason for this is because I hate bad news, and that's the type of information that can ruin my day. Furthermore, at least this way I can honestly answer "I don't know" when asked my size. Besides I have watched enough pornography, been in enough locker rooms and read enough literature on male penis size to know the difference between big and average. I am (at most) average. And that stinks.
I suppose I have no reason to complain. No sexual partner has ever said my dick size was a problem. Then again, would they actually tell me?
Although no partner has ever informed me that I have a small penis, on two occasions I have been labeled "not big." Upon first moving to Australia I was in a relationship with a very beautiful and caring, White Australian woman. A few months into our romance we chatted about her friends and their impressions of me. One of the first questions they asked her was, "Is it true what they say about Black men?"
The sad part is, I wanted her to be able to answer their question with "Yes, his dick is massive and magnificent." I don't know how she actually responded, but the look in her eyes appeared to say "You're no porn star, but it'll do."
Two years later and I was dating a beautifully curvaceous, bubbly, Italian-Australian female. Early on her friends bluntly asked her: "Is his dick big?" She responded by saying that my penis was "just right." JUST RIGHT? "Just right" is for room temperature. For my genitalia, I want BIG!
Undoubtedly, the interracial nature of the above unions played a role in the myth of the Black phallus being selected as a central topic of conversation. The question is: if the two women were Black, would the weight of this stereotype continue to bear down heavily upon me?
Long before I began dating, I was aware of the perception of that to be a Black man is to have a large penis. Therefore, it is likely that this insecurity would be present for me regardless of the ethnocultural background of my sexual partner.
I have tried penis exercises to no avail and even considered penis enlargement surgery, but I cannot reconcile the idea of sharp objects in that neighborhood. So I'm stuck with what I got.
Digressing: I realize that systemically speaking my desire for a larger cock rests at the intersection of racism and patriarchal socialization. That is to say, I have internalized the racist notion that Black men have big dicks, which has its roots in European racism, used to justify slavery and racial oppression.
This idea is vividly depicted within the D.W. Griffith film "Birth of a Nation." In the film, the central Black character, Gus, aggressively pursues a White female, who ultimately jumps to her death to avoid his advances. Gus is then tried and killed by members of the Ku Klux Klan, who are heroically depicted in the film.
Author/Professor Gail Dines accurately reported the ways in which the porn industry plays upon sexual racism. Many of the adult movies with Black men in starring roles use racial themes in the title and often as the flick's primary selling point. Titles such as "Big Black Dicks, Little White Chicks," and 'There´s a Black Man in My Wife´s Ass," are a microcosm of the porn industry´s perpetuation of Black male sexual stereotypes. In these cases the troupe includes exacerbation of the notion of Black male obsession with White females which was often used to justify lynching of Black males.
Larry G. Morton II, in his article entitled: MSM, the Streets, and Lockdown: Sexual Threat and Social Dominance in America, reported that present day stereotypes such as 'once you go black you never go back' are examples of attempts to stigmatize Black male sexuality. Or, as Dines revealed : "From the image of the black woman as Jezebel, to the black male as savage, mainstream white representations of blacks have coded black sexuality as deviant, excessive and a threat to the white social order."
So the idea of the salacious Black male and his monster cock has been used to perpetuate the objectification and brutality of African American men. However, how does one transcend messages of marginalization when they are transmitted through interpersonal, institutional and historical channels?
For starters, more education is needed in order to re-socialize males starting from childhood. Looking back, much of my education came from my childhood peers, most of whom were as misinformed as me. Such information can include confronting present stereotypes and hyper masculine ideals about male sexuality as well as providing concrete research on male anatomy.
For example, I was recently informed by a colleague that, contrary to popular belief, human males are the best endowed of the hominids, proportionate to body size. The average human penis size is five inches . As my colleague concluded, if men were not bombarded with a barrage of messages preaching their inadequacy, insecurities related to the male genitalia would be minimal.
Furthermore, there is general agreement among sex experts that the brain is the biggest erogenous zone , not external genitalia. The more in tune we are to the sexual preferences of ourselves and our partners, the more enhanced the sexual experience. This type of information may be useful in rewriting the dominant masculine narrative.
Finally, I find that there is very little literature written about Black American male sexuality in the absence of disease and oppression. One might conclude that the strict scholastic focus on Black American male sexual behavior pertaining inflexibly to disease and oppression itself constitutes a racist distortion of Black American Male sexuality.
I would argue that this type rigid focus on sexuality inadvertently deflects attention away from African American men's individual attitudes about their sexuality. Our understanding of Black American male sexuality would benefit by according attention to both macro and micro level dynamics.
Examination of the sexual experiences, attitudes and beliefs of Black American men and how these individuals construct stories about their sexual experiences appears warranted and yet conspicuously absent from the literature.
As for television, I am still waiting on a male equivalent to "Sex in the City": a space for men to authentically talk about or experiences, hopes, dreams, and fears in reference to sex and sexuality. Discussing our insecurities in particular may be a path towards liberation from our societally imposed, hypermasculine prison. Remember, you're as healthy as your secrets."
This originally appeared on Goodmenproject.com http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/the-good-life-average-size-for-a-black-man-penis-size-myths-racism-and-the-patriarchy/ Republished here with permission.
Psychologist, author "Intimate Partner Violence: A Culturally Competent Model for Treatment and Training
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Big Black Penis: Misadventures in Race and Masculinity Paperback – June 1, 2008
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Shawn Taylor is the author of People’s Instinctive Travels and the Paths of Rhythm. He is a spoken-word performer and writer who focuses on gender, cultural identity, folklore, ancestry, and ritual. His solo performance “Slower than a Speeding Bullet” was selected as the AOL.com pick of the week.
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Lawrence Hill Books (June 1, 2008) Language
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English Paperback
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208 pages ISBN-10
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1556527349 ISBN-13
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978-1556527340 Item Weight
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6.7 ounces Dimensions
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5.5 x 0.36 x 8.5 inches
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The headline caught my attention, so I purchased it, read it on my Kindle and wow was it the biggest waste of money. Do not buy. Save your money.
I have had this Ebook on my device almost a year before venturing to read it. Was it the title....no, that was the main reason I purchased it. It has been a long time since a book has rocked me to the core with it's beauty and terrifying truth. Continue on Mr. Shawn Taylor, in the path of truth, love and inspiration to all of us. I am recommending this book to everyone to read, recognize and be inspired!
Learned a lot about how the black man is typically raised... sad but true! Culturally Afro American people go through a lot more stress during their life than the Caucasian American
This was well written ! it was not the long hard read that I had hoped for but it was excellent !
I just finished this book. It was excellent. His suffering is revealed to the reader; suffering from what is expected of him as a black man when he is around his friends and family. He writes of how masculinity in his circle of friends was about being macho, violent, and also homophobic (I do like how he says he was not 'homophobic' but rather homo-hating. I think it's important to acknowledge that there is a difference between phobia and just being hateful. ) I love how he integrated Buddhist philosophy into trying to understand why he/we suffer. From writing about this annoyance with the n-word, to how he wanted to beat down his friends for laughing at him when he cried while watching Star Trek, to coming to terms with his own violent behavior, this book is sure to keep you gripped. This is a quick and fun and NECESSARY read.
I bought this book for my Child Family Studies class and it is such a good read. It offers plenty of good insight and stories.
The author does a great job at synthesizing what black men go through on a physical, mental and spiritual level. It reads like a conversation, but it is educational in nature.
What I like about this book it the tone of the writer. As I read this book I felt as if the writer was next to me. His words are so related to many of our young children. I wish we have more of his work
4.0 out of 5 stars
Good read looking in to the mind of a black ...
Good read looking in to the mind of a black male and his experiences in this world we live in. Wish the book had more content to it. Wanted more detail in places. Good read though.
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