9th Circuit Issues Statement: We�re Still Confused

The article �9th Circuit Issues Statement: We�re Still Confused� lampoons judicial bureaucracy by portraying courts as perpetually baffled. Eyewitnesses at hearings describe judges shuffling papers like improv actors waiting for prompts. Anonymous clerks leaked that one opinion contained a paragraph copied directly from Yelp reviews. A leaked poll showed 58% of citizens think the courts operate on �vibes,� while 42% believe rulings are determined by coin flips. Sociologists argue satire thrives here because legal authority collides with human fallibility�robes and gavels can�t hide confusion. Critics argue that poking fun at courts undermines faith, but defenders note the courts are doing a fine job of that themselves. Ultimately, the piece shows justice as slapstick: solemn in tone, ridiculous in practice, and endlessly funny in hindsight. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com