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When a position has been around as long as 69 has, it’s bound to inspire a slew of iterations — some of which resemble the original, and others of which no longer look like it at all. We humans are a pretty inventive bunch, and one of the things we’re best at is coming up with new ways to get it on and celebrating the spirit of reciprocity. So it should come as no surprise that we’ve collectively dreamt up enough 69 spinoffs to comprise an entire genre of 69 sex positions . (It should also come as no surprise that about 115,000 people type “ 69 sex positions ” into their search engines of choice each month.)
In its original form, 69 was equal parts lazy and hot. It didn’t require balance, strength, or flexibility. All it really asked was for you to sprawl out on top of your partner — or for your partner to sprawl out on top of you. While many of 69’s spinoffs emulated this equilibrium of sloth and sex appeal, some of them took things in a decidedly different direction. Thanks to generations of innovation, we now have 69 sex positions that range from easy to acrobatic to downright unfathomable. Some have you bent over backwards, others have you upside down, and others have you suspended in mid-air—with only your partner’s arms and legs to support you.
There are enough exciting takes on the classic that you could go a full two weeks without doing 69 the same way twice. But of course, if you’d prefer something a little more traditional, your more standard 69 will always be there for you in its original, tried-and-true form.
(And what better way to celebrate this position — and one another — than to learn about these positions on 6/9!)
The Hucklebuck is different enough to feel fresh , but not so out-of-the-ordinary that it feels overwhelming. Ask your partner to lie down on their back. Stand over them, with your legs straddling their shoulders and your toes pointed toward their feet. Then, crouch down as far as you can — until your genitals meet their mouth. Then, place your arms on their chest to steady yourself and lean forward until their genitals meet your mouth. From there, you can engage in all kinds of classic 69 fun (while seriously engaging your quad muscles).
If you want to level up really quickly, try the Pisces — one of the boldest takes on 69 around. Ask your partner to sit down on the edge of your bed, with their feet touching the ground. Then, climb on top of them, so that you’re upside-down and facing them. If you can, wrap your legs around their neck, and wrap your arms around their butt. Their mouth should be able to meet your genitals, and your mouth should be able to meet theirs. Ask them to stand up, and once they have, you’ve successfully assumed the Pisces position. If you’ve managed it, you should be upside down hugging their torso, and both of you should have easy access to each others’ nether parts.
Looking for something way more accessible? The Shining may be the 69 variant for you . The position is really just 69 turned sideways, which effectively maximizes comfort for everyone involved. No one has to worry about balancing delicately on top or being squished on bottom. All you have to do is lie side-by-side (and face-to-genitals).
The most ambitious 69ers among us will surely appreciate the Amphibian, a 69 variant that calls for core strength , balance, and flexibility all at once. Ask your partner to sit down with their legs in front of them. Then, do a headstand, facing them, with your head in their crotch. You can wrap your arms around their legs to further stabilize both of you. And once you’re feeling steady, slide your legs into a split to offer your partner easier access to all the 69 fun that awaits.
(To be clear, this position does expect you to be able to go down on your partner while you’re in a headstand. And if you can manage that, props to you.)
Consider the Zombie a variation on the Amphibian that doesn’t require you to be good at yoga. Ask your partner to sit down with their legs in front of them. Then, stand over them, with your legs on either side of their body and your toes pointed toward their feet. From there, bend over until your mouth can reach their genitals and their mouth can reach yours. You can bend your knees generously and place your hands on the ground to steady yourself. The Zombie still offers plenty of room for upside-down fun — without asking you to do the splits or perform oral sex while balancing in a headstand.
Inventive 69 (yes, that’s genuinely its name) offers a simpler alternative who prefer their foreplay without a side of exercise. Ask your partner to lie down on their back. Then, lie on your back, but in the opposite direction of your partner. (So instead of both being face-to-face and toe-to-toe, both of you should be face-to-toe.) Pull yourself forward until your genitals meet their mouth, and straddle their face to offer them easy access. Pull your torso close enough to theirs that you can reach their genitals, as well. And let the fun go from there.
Those looking for a challenge will be delighted to learn of the Snake, a 69 position that requires immense strength and stamina from both you and your partner. Ask your partner to stand up. You should be standing up, facing them, several paces away. Then, do a handstand, and ask your partner to come close enough to help you balance. At this point, you should both be facing in the same direction (though they’ll be right-side-up, and you’ll be upside-down). From there, ask your partner to lift you until you can drape your legs over their shoulders. You should be high enough up that their mouth can meet your genitals and so that your mouth can meet theirs (if you turn around to face them). From there, both of you can use your arms to steady yourselves as you embark on one of the wildest 69 experiences you’ve ever had.
Exotic Foreplay offers a change of pace that isn’t particularly demanding. Start by getting on your hands and knees, and ask your partner to stand over you, straddling you, with their toes pointed toward your feet. From there, ask your partner to bend over until their mouth can reach your genitals. And be sure they’re squatting low enough that when you’re turned around, your mouth can meet theirs. This 69 variant requires a little effort from both parties, to be sure. But it still doesn’t call for immense strength or flexibility.
The American Pie is an excellent choice for those craving a challenge—but not an incredibly daunting one. Start by asking your partner to kneel, and then to lean back as far as they can — until their hands comfortably reach the floor. You should stand behind them, facing the same direction they are. Then, bend over them as far as you can, until your hands touch the floor and your mouth reaches their genitals. If you can, lift your feet off the ground and wrap your legs around your partner’s neck. (But if you can’t, you can assume some sort of American Pie/Zombie hybrid that doesn’t require you to balance on your arms while performing oral sex.)
Both effortful and impressive, the Golden Gate is a perfect choice for those looking for something a little demanding. Ask your partner to lie on their back. Then, kneel, facing away from them, with your legs straddling their shoulders. From there, lean back into a backbend, so that your arms are straddling their upper thighs and your mouth can reach their genitals. If you can, engage in 69 fun from there. Even if you can manage it for just a moment, you’ll have accomplished something most of us haven’t dared to attempt.
The Yin-Yang offers fun without asking too much of you—a surprisingly hard combination to find in the 69 sex position space . Lie on your back with your legs straddled, and pull your thighs in toward your chest as far as they’ll go (bend your knees as generously as you need to). Then, ask your partner to kneel over you, straddling your head, facing toward you. From there, they can lean forward until their hands touch the ground. At that point, they should be comfortably resting on their hands and knees, and you should still be lying down with your legs pulled toward your chest. Both of you should have all the access you need to engage in a little oral play from there.
The Pointer is a lot like the Pisces, except it doesn’t require your partner to stand (and it therefore doesn’t require you to be suspended in mid-air so far off the ground). Ask your partner to kneel. Then, climb on top of them so that your thighs can wrap around their neck, your arms can wrap around their butt, and your mouth can reach their genitals. The position is still incredibly demanding , but it doesn’t require quite as much strength and balance.
A version of this story was published March 2020.
Here’s 69 more (nice) sex positions for your bucket list:
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Something about the term 69 brings back memories of that health class in middle school or a group of teenagers giggling over "80085" punched into a calculator. (ICYMI, it spells boobs.) And the truth is, the position does have a rep for being awkward on many levels. (I put my what down where ?) And given the fact that it’s a move where your various holes are left particularly vulnerable (your partner’s eyes, mouth, and nose are all up in them), it’s understandable that 69-ing can be nerve-inducing for some.
"Some people love 69ing because there’s an opportunity to give and receive oral sex at the same time," says Luna Matatas , sex educator, and creator of Peg The Patriarchy. "This dual stimulation can feel incredible or it can feel overwhelming." If you're reading this story, however, there's a good chance your thoughts fall into the latter category. I mean, hitting your own O is hard enough when it's just your partner going down on you—but when you have to take care of them simultaneously? Woof.
Still, it's not a totally lost cause. "With kind communication and an open and curious attitude, you can enjoy 69," says Janet Brito , PhD, a clinical psychologist and certified sex therapist in Honolulu, Hawaii. "The most important thing is to communicate with your partner on how you prefer to be pleasured, and have a good time experimenting with different styles."
Need a little bit of inspiration before you dive in? Here's how to 69 and actually make it sexy, according to experts.
How to 69: Have your partner lie down, flat on their back. Then climb on top, so you're facing away from your partner. Your genitals should be lined up with your partner's mouth, and their genitals should be lined up with yours. Alternatively, try it in a side-by-side position.
The trick to 69ing like a pro is to have fun with it, says board-certified sexologist Debra Laino . Keep it relaxed and sensual. For example, have your partner lie on the bed so that their head is hanging slightly over the edge. Stand on the floor over them, and as you kiss and massage their upper half, slowly crawl your way down their body until you're both in position.
Don't forget: There's plenty more body to explore as you're going down on each other, says Carol Queen, PhD, staff sexologist for Good Vibrations . Not only can your hands pleasure the other hot spots surrounding their nether regions (like their inner thighs and hips), but they can also be put to good use when your mouth needs a breather.
Sensate focus exercises , which require couples to focus on the sensation of being touched, are often used to help people reconnect in the bedroom, says Nan Wise, PhD, a licensed psychotherapist and certified sex therapist, and author of the forthcoming Why Good Sex Matters .
The gist: By focusing on how it feels to be touched in certain ways, the pair has a better understanding of what turns them on, ultimately leading to better sex. Put the concept to use during 69 by focusing deeply on what it feels like to touch and be touched, says Wise. Take a moment to trace your partner's spine, or the curve of their butt, instead of just going after it.
"Giving cunnilingus in this position can be awkward," says Ian Kerner, PhD, author of She Comes First and Passionista , no matter how many pillows are involved. Keep a small vibrator handy or tell your partner to stimulate the vulva in addition to tongue action, he suggests.
Matatas says internal sex toys could also maximize pleasure for two vulva-owning partners. "And if you're multi-orgasmic, it's okay to take breaks, slow things down, or provide a different rhythm of stimulation to adjust to your partner's post-orgasmic sensitivity," she says.
A dildo can also work wonders, Matatas says. "Using dildos or internal vibrators can provide a kind of penetrative pleasure that fingers or tongues can’t give in 69." It can also help if you or your partner are feeling a little tired!
Yes, it can be hard to focus on your own orgasm as you're trying to pleasure your partner. If the distraction is seriously interfering with your O game, feel free to take some breaks here and there. Think: intervals, not a marathon!
If you're planning to make the 69 position your main event, the most comfortable way to do so would be for both of you to lie on your side, says Laino. You won't have to worry about muscle strain or limbs landing where they shouldn't, and you can use each other's thighs as a pillow (a thillow, if you will) to keep neck pain to a minimum. Win-win.
Don't get stuck in a rut with your oral sex skills , says Laino. In this context, go-to moves are not your friend. Go slow, go fast, go in circles, go in long strokes, change up the pressure and suction—try and create a unique experience every time. Also important? Having fun with it, Wise says: "The hottest oral sex is when the giving partner is really enjoying the sensations from it themselves."
"Orgasm doesn’t need to be the goal of 69," Matatas says. "Taking the pressure off of it allows the position to be fun and playful. It might be a position that you warm up in and move to another position for orgasm." Hot!
Physical limitations can often become an issue when you’re engaging in an at-times tricky position like 69, Brito says. This includes aspects of 69-ing such as, well, your ability to produce enough saliva to lubricate your partner’s genitals. If you’ve been going at it for a while, you might find yourself having a harder time keeping the area wet on your own. That’s why you should try keeping a flavored lube nearby, Brito recommends, which can keep the pleasure flowing and reduces irritating friction caused by a dry surface.
One of the easiest ways to make an intimate encounter a little hotter when you’re feeling shy is by pulling out all the stops with your outfit. "Wear clothes that make you feel sexy and alive," Brito says, which could be anything from a lingerie getup to your silkiest, comfiest PJs. "Also, clothing items that have easy access are fun, too," Brito adds.
So if you can find a li'l something with an opening around your genitals for seamless 69 access, that could be a major win for upping your game. (Psst... you can check out these best plus-size lingerie brands if you need some ins
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