69 Position
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69 Position
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This article was medically reviewed by Sara Rosen , LMSW, MEd, a certified sex therapist at the Long Island Institute of Sex Therapy.
Our stories are reviewed by medical professionals to ensure you get the most accurate and useful information about your health and wellness. For more information, visit our medical review board.
Ashley Laderer is a freelance writer from New York who specializes in health and wellness. Follow her on Twitter @ashladerer
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Love to give and receive in bed? 69 may be the perfect sex position for you and your partner.
Here's how to do a couple different 69 positions as well as the benefits of it compared to other sex positions.
Put simply, the 69 position means that the partners are positioned face-to-genital rather than face-to-face, says sex and relationships therapist Stefani Goerlich, LMSW-Clinical, LISW .
Luckily, getting into the 69 position is very straightforward. Follow these steps from Goerlich to assume the position:
If the couple involves someone with a penis and someone with a vulva, Goerlich recommends that the penis-haver be the person who lies down, so that the vulva owner can control the depth of penetration during oral sex.
"When the positions are reversed, it's not uncommon for an enthusiastic penis-haver to press down a bit too far into their partner's mouth, restricting airflow and causing a bit of discomfort," says Goerlich.
The traditional 69 might not be comfortable for everyone. If you'd like, you can try a horizontal variation of 69.
Goerlich says this variation can be good if traditional 69 feels too claustrophobic for the partner who's lying down or uncomfortable for the person who has to bear their weight above their partner.
Follow these steps to get into a horizontal 69 position:
Aside from being super sexy, the 69 position comes with a few benefits, too. Goerlich says some of the perks of 69ing include:
1. Mutual engagement : During 69, both partners are actively engaged at the same time. This can reduce feelings of imbalance or lack of reciprocity that one might feel when giving or receiving oral sex, alone. Both partners are giving and receiving equally.
2. Gender-inclusive: No matter your gender or your partner's gender, you can experience pleasure from 69ing. The position can work with any combination of genitals, as long as it's comfortable for you and your partner.
3. Reduced body anxiety: If you feel self-conscious about your body during foreplay or sex, 69 may be a good option for you: "69 can be a great way to reduce everyone's view down to a narrow bit of the landscape and to hide perceived flaws," says Goerlich. The less self-conscious you are during sex, the more likely you are to enjoy it.
4. Greater chance of orgasm for vulva owners: If you have a vulva, chances are you need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. A 2017 study found that 36.6% of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm –– and oral sex is a great way to get this kind of touch.
5. Chance of mutual orgasm : For couples who want to orgasm simultaneously, 69 is a great option because you can closely monitor your partner's bodily reactions while also experiencing your own, which can make a mutual orgasm a little easier to accomplish than in other sex positions.
It can take a little bit of practice to really get comfortable in the 69 position, but once you have it figured out, there's sure to be lots of simultaneous pleasure for both you and your partner.
Remember that during sex, communication is key. Keep the line of communication open so you can make your partner feel as good as possible, and vice versa.
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You would be pretty hard-pressed to find anybody in the world who wouldn’t love a little oral sex every once in a while. That is why many guys and girls want to try the traditional 69 position in the early stages of their sex life.
Trust me that it can be a lot of fun in the beginning.
However, after a while, you’re just kind of pounding away and things turn into a routine. Luckily, thanks to our guide and especially our tips and tricks section available in the article below, you will be able to give her the best 69 she will ever experience.
Before you start to eat her out, you need to get into the basic 69 position. This can be done pretty easily and you won’t need any extra strength or stamina.
Just follow these basic directions:
I prefer when I am laying down on my back and my partner is staying on all fours as this way, I am not sweating too much and it is still comfortable for both of us.
I have experience with more advanced variations of the 69 position as well so don’t forget to check out the paragraphs below.
Once you are in the correct position, you can apply the following techniques.
In the case of 69, she often starts to blow you right away. If this is the case, there is no place for any teasing and you can start munching on her pussy. Once you are in the correct position, you can start to eat her out.
The most effective technique is called the “ Clit Flicker & Sucker “. It is very simple to execute and pays direct attention to her clit:
Some women can’t handle direct stimulation and sucking of the clit. Therefore, change this technique according to her preferences.
Another technique that you can use during 69 is the “ Lips Check Up “:
Pay attention to each of her labia as there is nothing worse when some part of her vulva gets absolutely no attention at all.
Not only that you can also try some “ Tongue Penetration “:
Just keep in mind that during tongue penetration, your nose will get very close to her anus.
Here are my personal remarks and tips on eating her pussy in 69:
There are also several other ways to eat her pussy . Most of these are not suitable for a 69 position but if you love going down on her, then these can improve your skill.
Just keep in mind that going down on her during 69 is going to be a slightly different experience.
Actually, achieving orgasm during 69 may be a problem as if you are concentrating on giving then you are not focusing on the pleasure you receive and vice versa. If you are focusing on the pleasure you receive you may drift off and stop giving.
Trust me that this will make the 69 not that great in the eyes of your partner.
If you are going to show your female partner this guide to 69, then she may be interested in these tips and tricks to give the perfect blow job .
Just keep in mind that if your jaw or neck gets sore, take a break and jerk him off. Also, if you are on the top then you have at least one free hand, so you can play with his balls or his anus.
If you are going to show your female partner this guide to 69, then she may be interested in these tips and tricks to give the perfect blow job .
Just keep in mind that if your jaw or neck gets sore, take a break and jerk him off. Also, if you are on the top then you have at least one free hand, so you can play with his balls or his anus.
This image is borrowed from my favorite website called SexPositions.club (NSFW). I love their artwork. Give them some credit guys, they deserve it.
If you don’t like the traditional 69 (girl on top) position for any reason, then try this variation that is called the Speaker . As you can see in the image above, this is a man on top position.
All you have to do is to follow these steps:
This position is perfect if you want to show some dominance as a man. Also, it is perfect if your sex partner is much taller than you.
The best part? Your girl will have both her hands free so she can play with your balls or even anus if you are into butt play.
If you are looking for a variation of 69 that is the most comfortable then you should try the Shining position . To be honest, this is my favorite variation of the 69 position.
All you need to do is to follow these steps:
This variation is excellent for those who love their comfort and want to fully focus on giving and receiving pleasure. Both your and your partner will have one hand free to “play” with.
Do you consider the typical versions of 69 too boring? Then try the Yin-Yang position .
Although it may not be as comfortable as variations mentioned before, it allows excellent access to her pussy and gives a man the dominant position:
This position allows easy access to both his and her genitalia. However, your hands will be out of play. My advice is to place a pillow under her head to make this position more comfortable.
If you and your partner are into butt play, then you can also pay attention to her perineum and anus as this position provides for the perfect access to this area.
Are you looking for a variation of 69 that is a little bit more challenging? Then try the Pisces position.
Basically, all you need is a man who has strong arms and at least some endurance as you will need to follow these steps:
This position is not very comfortable for a guy nor for a girl. Although it provides some spark for your love life, I can hardly imagine achieving orgasm doing this.
It limits a man to only munching on her pussy as his hands will be holding her weight, while she will have both her hands and her mouth available for your pleasure.
Just keep in mind that you can easily injure yourself or your partner while experimenting with this position. So better be safe than sorry.
If you think that standing 69 is not that of a challenge for you, then try the Snake position . This one is perfect for adventurous couples, strong guys, and flexible girls.
All you have to do is to follow these instructions:
From my personal experience, this position is not very comfortable. If your partner is lightweight and small, it provides for short-term fun. While it is limiting for man, a girl can show some attention to both your balls and your penis.
However, I use it only seldom when I want to spice things up a little bit.
Just keep in mind that you will need a lot of strength, endurance, and stamina. Also, there is a high risk of injury while experimenting with this position.
The frequency of oral sex you receive and the level of your personal hygiene go hand in hand. Obviously, if you want to have some “fun time” during any activity that includes oral sex, you need to maintain proper hygiene.
The main goal is to eliminate any foul odors down there.
Just keep everything clean on a regular basis to maintain a nice smell. This way, you should be safe when unexpected oral sex happens.
You don’t have to be obsessive about the hygiene of your genitalia.
There are actually people who prefer some scent and it gets them more aroused. Also, there will be times when you just want to jump on each other regardless of how sweaty, dirty, or messy both of you are.
All you need to do is to get rid of any foul odors and you are good to go.
Sex is always a “game of power” where one person usually gives while the other one takes. These roles should switch between partners from time to time to maintain a healthy balance.
However, we guys always have a tendency to kind of sit back and enjoy the show.
If you do this during the 69 and won’t focus on pleasuring her as well, then trust me she will not be eager to experiment with it the next time you are having sex. There is one basic rule for you to follow.
As long as she is blowing you, you should be munching on her pussy.
Sure, you can teasingly pause for a few seconds but don’t be lazy. The more you receive, the more effort you should put into giving her the experience of a lifetime.
Trust me, giving more than you receive is a great way to build a positive attitude towards the 69 position.
From my personal experience, I can tell you that almost each and every 69 action starts with the guy laying on his back and a lady on top of him. This can obviously change in the heat of passion.
Some people (especially those who share similar body types) have no trouble whatsoever “flipping the script” and taking the opposite approach. In general, the person who is on the top usually dominates and dictates the pace and intensity of the 69.
To make 69 even better, the person who is usually dominant should be laying on his/her back while the usually submissive partner should go on the top to lead.
Trust me that this change of roles will bring a little bit of excitement into the action.
Everyone who tried the 69 position will know how easy it is to strain your neck, especially when you are the one on the bottom. This can make the whole experience quite negative.
Luckily, a simple pillow can change the 69 into a very comfortable and pleasurable experience.
Just make sure to place one under the head of either
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