50 Shades Of Grey All Sex Scenes
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50 Shades Of Grey All Sex Scenes
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We already told you everything that surprised us while watching Fifty Shades of Grey (like for one, it’s kind of good?). But we know what you really want: You want to know Exactly how much sex there is in the movie. Here’s your answer in the most scientific way possible. (Warning: Spoilers! Also, sex stuff that might be considered Nsfw!) 41 - Minutes into the movie before the first sex scene happens. 7 - Total sex scenes*. (*We’re including some Bdsm scenes that don’t involve traditional intercourse but seem sex scene-y enough to count.) 1 - Sex scene that barely counts as a sex scene because it’s sad. 3 - Sex scenes that actually take place in the Red Room . 20 - Minutes, approximately, of total sex in the movie. 8 - Total spanks Anastasia receives in the movie. 10(ish) - Total times Ana gets whipped in the movie, give or take a flogging. 0 - Sex scenes
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By Mallory Schlossberg Published: Feb 8, 2018
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Fifty Shades Darker (2017) - Auction Seduction Scene (2/10) | Movieclips
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Fifty Shades Darker (2017) - A Friendly Wager Scene (5/10) | Movieclips
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Fifty Shades Darker (2017) - The Answer is Yes Scene (9/10) | Movieclips
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Fifty Shades Darker (2017) - Love in an Elevator Scene (4/10) | Movieclips
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In honor of the franchise's "climax." (You're welcome!)
The day is finally upon us. The third Fifty Shades installment, Fifty Shades Freed — or what the advertisements are so cleverly calling the climax (get it?!) — hits theaters February 9. In honor of the series' highly anticipated finish , here's a Very Scientific ranking of the franchise's most memorable sex scenes … so far. (If you'd like to follow along at home, you can stream the first two movies here and here .)
Arguably, this is the most realistic of all the sex scenes in the Fifty Shades series. Christian and Ana have already slept together for the first time, which presumably means he's already awoken her "Inner Goddess." After a bath and a sensual scrub that feels straight out of a commercial for a mall jeweler, he ties her up with his own tie (v. DIY) and then almost goes down on Ana. But just when things are starting to get good, we hear the voice of Marcia Gay Harden (in a woefully underused role as Christian's mother). Oh no! Ana's naked, but Christian's mom is there! Time to put some clothes on! This scene will resonate deeply with anyone who has tried to engage in some sexy time, only to be thwarted by the sudden appearance of a family member or annoying roommate.
Christian might be a sociopath, but since we're all about seeing the good in people, I'd like to point out one of his more redeeming qualities: It's clear that he gets ALL of his sex tips from women's magazines from the early '90s (😎). This scene aims to titillate — Christian ties up Ana's wrists and blindfolds her with her shirt, then grabs an ice cube. He runs it ( slowly and sensually , of course) down her body, flips her over, spanks her, puts on a condom like a respectable gentleman, and has sex with her doggy style. Unfortunately, I have to detract points for how much emphasis the director decided to put on that damn ice cube. It almost becomes comical.
Ana's been wearin' silver balls up in her vagina throughout an entire auction, as one does. (Wait, I'm sorry: " Inner Goddess Silver Metal Pleasure Balls ," according to Fifty Shades ' very own sex toy line.) After Ana wins (loses? She pays $24,000) the auction, they get the hell out — and then they return to Christian's childhood bedroom, for some reason. They passionately kiss. "I want you to spank me ," Ana says. He ties up her wrists. Then he unties her, takes out the balls, and flips her over, and then ... the sex commences. He asks her to come for him, but, like, it's only been a few minutes. Has Christian ever actually had sex with a lady? Does he know how long it takes women to finish?
OK, maybe this is the most relatable sex scene because it's kind of feels straight outta #datenight . Christian goes down on Ana (one of the only decent traits about him is that he's enthusiastic about performing oral sex).
"What do you want, Anastasia?" he asks, VERY dramatically. "I want all of you, " she replies, all breathily.
They then proceed to have tame missionary sex because they are clearly no longer reading our expert-approved tips for spicing up their sex lives .
Is it just me, or are games of pool in the movies + on TV approximately 10000 times sexier than they are in real life? Anyway, during a spirited game of billiards, Christian says he hopes Ana's not a sore loser. Her reply? "It depends how hard you spank me." He then informs Ana he's going to be rough with her . He bends her over and then proceeds to have sex with her from behind, on the pool table, because he once heard Ludacris's "What's Your Fantasy?" and thought I can do better than that list.
Real talk: Most of the Fifty Shades Darker sexxxxx scenes kind of blur together. This scene is different (ish) because Christian uses a metal spreader bar on Ana (available on Amazon , if you're curious, because if there's one thing the Fifty Shades series is good at, it's selling stuff ). He goes down on her again, flips her over, and has doggy style sex with her. Everybody wins!
After a highly implausible shower escapade (their...clothes are on???), Ana says she wants to go into the Red Room — which they do — which means that type of sex is about to happen. If you're into that, this is great! If you're not, it's not. The most exciting part of this, to me, is their ability to travel so swiftly from shower to Red Room without an awkward exchange of towels. Movie magic at its finest.
This was the moment everyone was waiting for. The first time they do it . The people behind-the-scenes really tried their hardest to make this seem romantic, and like the way everyone wishes they had lost their virginity. There's a shot of Ana's leg hair (because virgins don't shave their thighs, apparently), you get a Jamie Dornan butt shot, and then you get some standard issue missionary sex, because as we will come to learn throughout the series, Christian Grey is a man of few actually exciting sex moves.
Or, wait…is this what everyone was waiting for? Set to the tune of a mediocre cover of "Crazy In Love," filled to the brim with flogging, rope, restraints, and sex...well, it definitely isn't boring, I'll give it that.
Honestly, this is the only legitimately hot scene in the entire first two movies. Why? Because a) it's in public , and b) it's not just overt softcore porn. The best part, though, is you know Ana is getting off here, and not just Christian, which automatically makes it better than their other sexy time encounters. Plus, the music choice ("Moondance" by Van Morrison) was a nice surprise. Who doesn't love doin' it to Van Morrison?
Still, it's pretty ridiculous that nobody would be able to tell that his hand was up her skirt. How do you maneuver your skirt that easily? How does no one in the elevator realize what's going on? Will Ana get her underwear back after giving it to Christian at dinner? These are all confounding questions, and it just goes to show that Fifty Shades ' true genre is mystery.
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Fifty Shades Freed is coming into our lives on Valentine's Day, but before you see it you need to prepare your eyeballs for what they're about to witness with a refresher of every single sex scene from the book. And there are a lot. And all of them are extremely hilariously written and NSFW. Have fun enjoying the poetic sensual musings of E.L. James.
Fifty Shades Freed starts off with a flashback to Ana and Christian's first time as a married couple, which casually takes place on a plane. In other words, they join the Mile High Club, except it's a super fancy Mile High Club that has a bed. Also Christian licks Ana's feet so if foot fetishes aren't your thing please feel free to skip ahead.
"You are so beautiful…wife." He runs his hands down my legs, then grasps my left foot. “You have such lovely legs. I want to kiss every inch of them. Starting here." He presses his lips against my big toe and then grazes the pad with his teeth. Everything south of my waistline convulses. His tongue glides up my instep and his teeth skim my heel and up to my ankle. He trails kisses up the inside of my calf; soft wet kisses. I wriggle beneath him.
"Still, Mrs. Grey," he warns, and suddenly he flips me onto my stomach and continues his leisurely journey with his mouth up the backs of my legs, to my thighs, my behind, and then he stops. I groan.
"I want you naked," he murmurs and slowly unhooks my corset, one hook at a time. When it’s flat on the bed beneath me, he runs his tongue up the length of my spine.
"What do you want, Mrs. Grey?" His words are soft and close to my ear. He’s almost lying on top of me … I can feel him hard against my behind.
According to Christian, your orgasm is more intense with a full bladder—so he casually asks Ana not to pee, handcuffs her, and proceeds to make her climax. Also fun fact, Ana creates a safe word, AKA "popsicle." Way to ruin fun childhood summer snacks for us!
He groans loudly and thrusts deep, again and again, over and over, and I am lost, trying to absorb the pleasure. It’s mind-blowing…body blowing…I long to straighten my legs, to control my imminent orgasm, but I can’t…I’m helpless. I’m his, just his, to do with as he wills…Tears spring to my eyes. This is too intense. I can’t stop him. I don’t want to stop him…I want…I want…oh no, oh no…this is too…
"That’s it," Christian growls. "Feel it, baby!"
I detonate around him, again and again, round and round, screaming loudly as my orgasm rips me apart, scorching through me like a wildfire, consuming everything. I am wrung ragged, tears streaming down my face—my body left pulsing and shaking.
In which Ana tries to please Christian by shaving her pubic hair, only she does it "wrong," and he has to "fix it." Like...maybe let Ana wear her pubic hair how she wants, Christian, you controlling-yet-lovable maniac!
With a gentleness that surprises me, he runs the razor over my sensitive flesh. “Keep still,” he says distractedly, and I know he’s concentrating hard.
It’s only a matter of minutes before he grabs the towel and wipes all the excess lather off me.
"There—that’s more like it," he muses, and I finally lift my arm to look at him as he sits back to admire his handiwork.
"Very." He grins wickedly and slowly eases a finger inside me.
Christian is feeling super emotional after accidentally hurting Ana with some handcuffs, so they have sex to work through the feels. The description "he hisses" is inexplicably used.
He holds my head and with no preamble whatsoever he thrusts himself inside me, making me cry out—more in surprise than anything else—but I can still hear the hiss of his breath forced through his clenched teeth.
"Yessss," he hisses close to my ear. He stills, then swivels his hips once, pushing deeper, making me groan.
“I need you,” he growls, his voice low and husky. He runs his teeth along my jaw, nipping and sucking, and then he’s kissing me again, hard. I wrap my legs and arms around him, cradling and holding him hard against me, determined to wipe out whatever’s worrying him, and he starts to move…move like he’s trying to climb inside me. Over and over, frantic, primal, desperate, and before I lose myself in the insane rhythm and pace he’s setting, I briefly wonder once more what’s driving him, worrying him. But my body takes over, obliterating the thought, climbing and building so I am awash with sensation, meeting him thrust for thrust. Listening to his harsh breathing, labored and fierce at my ear. Knowing that he’s lost in me…I groan loudly, panting. It’s so erotic—his need for me.
In case it wasn't clear from this header, Christian and Ana are involved in a high speed car chase (believable!) and have sex after the rush of excitement. Because nothing says "romance" like almost dying in a fiery car crash.
"Hands on my knees, baby. Lean forward. Lift that glorious ass in the air. Mind your head."
Shit! We really are going to do this, in a public parking lot. I quickly scan the area in front of us and see no one, but feel a thrill coursing through me. I’m in a public lot! This is so hot! Christian shifts beneath me, and I hear the telltale sound of his zipper. Putting one arm around my waist and with his other hand tugging my lacy panties sideways, he impales me in one swift move.
"Ah!" I cry out, grinding down on him, and his breath hisses through his teeth. His arm snakes around me up to my neck and he grasps me under my chin. His hand spreads across my neck, pulling me back and tilting my head to one side so he can kiss my throat. His other hand grips my hip and together we start to move.
I push up with my feet, and he tilts himself into me—in and out. The sensation is…I groan loudly. It’s so deep this way. My left hand curls around the hand brake, my right hand braced against the door. His teeth graze my earlobe and he tugs—it’s almost painful. He bucks again and again into me. I rise and fall, and as we establish a rhythm, he moves his hand around beneath my skirt to the apex of my thighs, and his fingers gently tease my clitoris through the sheer finery of my panties.
Apparently post-car chase car sex just isn't enough to satiate Ana and Christian, so they go home to their playroom and hang out with a butt plug. Please prepare your eyeballs!
He smacks me hard once more so I cry out, then sticks two fingers inside me. He withdraws them immediately, spreading the moisture up, over, and around my anus.
"What are you going to do?" I ask, breathless. Oh my…is he going to fuck my ass?
"It’s not what you think," he murmurs reassuringly. "I to
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