50 Cent Jacking Off

50 Cent Jacking Off
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
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50 Cent has a fraught and complicated relationship with his dick, a frequent collaborator with whom he’s made some of his most successful songs , but over whom he demands an almost abusive amount of creative control. That uneasy dynamic has led to some confusing moments for those of us outside it—such as when Fifty prescribed his four-step process to stop jerking off , seemingly signaling that their partnership was strictly business from now on, only to later blame his infamously errant first pitch at a 2014 Mets game on “excessive masturbation.” And now he’s mad that his dick made an unauthorized cameo on the most recent Power , even though he previously gave it his blessing. So many mixed signals and embarrassingly public love-hate catfights; jeez, will 50 Cent and his dick get a room already?
The trouble began during Saturday’s episode of the Starz drama, in which 50 Cent’s character, Kanan, proves to his cousin Jukebox that the debilitating burns he sustained from Ghost shouldn’t disqualify him from their upcoming heist by engaging in mutual masturbation with Candie and—but hey, why are we wasting your time recounting this? This is the Starz drama Power ; we’re obviously all up to speed. But while you were so caught up in the double-life intrigue of balancing drug dealing and nightclub management, you might have missed the tip of 50 Cent’s dick, which was briefly visible—if shrouded in shadow—in the scene where Fifty ruins his baseball chances forever.
Speaking to TV Guide before the episode’s premiere, the rapper-actor seemed pretty excited about his dick breaking into a new medium: “My penis is going to debut!” he’s quoted as saying, while grinning “that 50 Cent Cheshire cat grin” and shrugging off any sort of regrets. “I don’t give a fuck,” he adds. “First it was supposed to be darker [after footage was edited.] You couldn’t see it on the screen. [A producer ] was like, ‘I gotta show you! When you put it on the screen, you can see it.’ I don’t care.”
But by Saturday, he’d apparently had a change of heart about not caring, after realizing that the scene could prove off-putting to Power ’s core viewership of his aunt.
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Fifty took it a step further with a series of posts directed at showrunner Courtney Kemp, repeatedly calling her a “bitch,” suggesting she should kiss his ass, and claiming that his dick never appeared in the edits he saw. “BITCH I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT WITH OUT TELLING ME FIRST, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU !!!” he said in one typical since-deleted post, all of which live on in screenshots.
Displaying the heroic patience it must take to make a TV show or sandwich with 50 Cent, Kemp replied that he had signed a nudity waiver just like every other actor on the show where he serves as executive producer—even deploying the eggplant emoji, so there would be no room for misinterpretation.
But by yesterday, whatever fury 50 Cent felt seemed to have dissipated: After deleting his earlier, angrier posts, he shared another photo of himself with his aunt saying she’d indeed been “traumatized” by the episode, but appeared to be crying-laughing-face-emoji about it. He seemed to be taking it all in good spirits, like the crystal-clear taste of Effen Vodka.
Was 50 Cent’s latest row with his penis all just a trolling publicity stunt, aimed at getting people to talk about Power , a show that is, huh, in its third season on Starz? Or is this all just another chapter in the ongoing, A Star Is Born -like struggle between the rapper and the ingénue muse threatening to overshadow him? We may never know what’s really going on with 50 Cent and his dick—even though God knows, this is neither the first nor the last time we’ll be asked to ponder it.

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50 Cent just taught a lesson to anyone who's thinking of getting rich off a celeb's back ... or face.
Lesson learned by an auto detailing company that dared to plaster Fiddy's pics on its online ads hawking rims without his permission.
We've learned Phenomenal Vinyl, Rim Source Motorsports has just plunked down some cash in return for getting out from under the lawsuit 50 filed.
As for how much money ... part of the deal is that no one would talk, however, our sources say money did indeed change hands.
We broke the story ... 50 prohibited the company from posting any images of him. Not only did the company post pics, they even tagged him on Instagram. Audacious, and kinda dumb.
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Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Gear Beast Universal Phone Lanyard Holder
Last week, the world watched in amusement as 50 Cent threw out the first pitch at a Mets game , resulting in his worst hook since “Candy Shop.” But in a Reddit AMA session today, 50 revealed the very serious medical condition that led to his mishap. Who’s laughing now?
In light of these revelations, we now see why 50 Cent became so adamantly anti-masturbation in 2012 , when he first presented his four-step recovery method for knocking it off—and inevitably, for becoming a better baseball player.
Today’s AMA was short on similarly useful advice and unfortunately long on food-related questions, though he did offer some wisdom related to the eternal conundrum of whether to get rich or die tryin’: “Focus on gettin’ rich you gonna die anyway. Let’s live good,” 50 wrote , with the unspoken implication that “living good” doesn’t include touching yourself.
Elsewhere, he also addressed a recent report that he’d been involved in the robbery of rapper Slow from the duo Slowbucks —one of his many rivals, for reasons that are murky and tedious to explain—which apparently took place on stage at Hot 97’s recent Summer Jam concert. While video documented a fracas in which a man clearly snatches a large gold chain believed to belong to Slow, and subsequent photos show that chain ending up around the neck of 50 Cent as he continued to perform in front of the 80,000-strong audience that had just witnessed the robbery, 50 acted as confused by the whole story as anyone else who just read this paragraph.
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Still, according to this Variety story that appeared on this, a day in which there is a lot of 50 Cent news for some reason, 50 could have been far less forthcoming. Talking about the rapper’s contributions to Starz’s Power , the crime drama about a shady nightclub proprietor he’s executive producing , star Joseph Sikora discussed how 50 had provided his invaluable insights throughout the development process. “I’d send him an idea or a picture, he’d respond with a lot of LOLs and Emojis,” Sikora wrote of grown man gangsta rapper 50 Cent, whom he also praised as an “easy guy to get in touch with.” After all, not jerking off frees up a lot of your time.

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