5 Things to Consider When Choosing a Spiritual Mentor

Spiritual mentors are people who are invested in their spiritual health, personal growth, and in them reaching their fullest potential. They may help them learn new skills or knowledge, provide guidance and wisdom for decision-making, or hold them accountable in the ways they engage with themselves and the world around them.

Theologians are not perfect people. They do not have to be without faults. They do not have to be elders or ordained members of a community. But they should surpass you in spiritual maturity and challenge you in your growth. They should be warm, loving, authentic, encouraging, and approachable. They should also be accessible and willing to provide mentorship. There are many things you can consider when choosing a mentor. Depending on your personal beliefs and values, there may be specific areas that are of most concern to you. Here are a few things to get you started.

1. DO THEIR BELIEFS AND VALUES COMPLEMENT AND CHALLENGE YOURS?

 What are their beliefs about spirituality? Religion? Church? Culture? Politics? Are these beliefs similar to yours? Your spiritual mentor does not have to have the exact views and beliefs as you, but there should be similar core values and their beliefs should positively challenge you to think critically about your own.

2. DO THEY EXHIBIT HUMILITY?

Being able to admit wrongdoing, ignorance, shortcomings, or that their accomplishments are not theirs alone, is important. It is also important that a spiritual mentor views humility as an essential strength, not a burdensome weakness.

3. DOES THEIR LIFE REFLECT A MATURE RELATIONSHIP WITH PERSONAL CHALLENGES AND HARDSHIPS?

This does not mean that they do not experience hardships, breakdowns, or make mistakes, or that they are “positive” all the time. It does mean that ultimately they view challenges in life as important defining moments. It also means they can recover, heal and learn from challenges. Overall they live a life defined by assurance, not persistent spiritual suffering.

4. DO THEY CONTRIBUTE TO THE ENHANCEMENT OF THE COMMUNITIES THEY ARE A PART OF?

Is their home, job, church, neighbourhood, or organization better because they are there, and are they concerned about the condition of these communities? Vertical spiritual wellness should reflect horizontally, and vice versa. Apathy and disconnect from the suffering around them suggest a lack of understanding of their interrelatedness and the significance of justice and balance in the universe.

5. DO THEY HAVE A STRONG SENSE OF SELF-WORTH AND INTEGRITY?

One of the biggest challenges in society, especially for Black people, is they are constantly confronted with the idea that they are not enough. This leaves them constantly looking outside themselves for validation and leaves them dependent on the external world for direction on who they should be. A good spiritual mentor should know who they are and who they are becoming and should strive to be that person, regardless of the actions of others or the situation.

A spiritual mentor is someone who cares about you and wants the best for you. They know that the most important thing in life is to have a personal relationship with Christ, so they encourage you to invest in this relationship. As a result, you can grow spiritually and become mature in your faith.