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What makes for a great sex film? We reveal the best sex scenes ever committed to celluloid, from lesbian dramas to gritty portrayals of sex addiction
Welcome to a countdown of the greatest sex films ever made about the small but preoccupying part of the human experience known as sex - from coming-of-age lesbian dramas to gritty portrayals of sex addiction to, erm, loincloths.
Put simply: these are the sex movies with the most to say about doing it, charting a history of how our attitudes towards sex and nudity on the big screen have shifted through the decades.
So get comfy - well, not too comfy - and enjoy.
Art house movies. We get it. They do sex. That's their thing. From Swedish nudes in 1953 ( Summer with Monika ) to the butter-based penetration of 1972 ( Last Tango in Paris ) to crazy irascible beach-side sessions in 1986 ( Betty Blue ), nothing screams "art house" more than a smartly directed and gamely acted sex scene. Then came Blue is the Warmest Colour .
The film, which won the Palme d'Or at the Cannes Film Festival in 2013, wiped away everything that had gone before it. The hideous rape of Monica Bellucci in Irreversible (2002)? The grimly determined humping from Japanese 1976 classic In the Realm of the Senses ? All gone. Faded in comparison. Plus, it was gay sex. So it made the cutesy girl-on-girl action in Bound (2006) and Mulholland Drive (2001) seem dubious and cheap.
Instead, what it gave us was two young and relatively untested actresses, Léa Seydoux and Adèle Exarchopoulos, deftly describing, in the grim northern French town of Lille, the heady emotional rushes and sudden power shifts of an emerging relationship. Looks are exchanged, picnics are arranged, kisses are traded and then everything grinds to a halt at approximately one hour and 11 minutes into the movie, when director Kechiche and his two lead actresses deliver the type of jaw-to-the-floor sex scene that has subsequently raised the movie-sex bar to insane heights of verisimilitude and has pushed the literal definition of "simulated" to breaking point.
For here, over seven long breathy, sweaty, brightly-lit minutes, we run the unapologetic gamut of licking, sucking, squeezing, fingering, rimming, ramming, slamming, and general slithery, grindy, intercrural mayhem.
The scene has many detractors including the actresses themselves, who famously rounded on their director: Seydoux said making it was "horrible" and she would "never" work with Kechiche again. Once the film began sweeping up during the 2013 awards season, however, they recanted and said that they were "happy" with it. And yet, look at the scene now, within the movie, and away from the hype, and it doesn't play too well. It's crudely lit. It's brazen, and yet also crass. And what it says, in its many nipple shots, arse close-ups, and vaginal teases, is that perhaps all sex scenes, no matter how well-intended, or how groundbreaking and profound, are inherently, well, kind of sleazy.
When it comes to the millennial generation’s defining coming-of-age movies, Clueless has a lot to answer for. The success of the teen-centred Emma adaption inspired a frenzied craze for remaking celebrated centuries-old classics as cheeky modern high-school romps. Twelfth Night became She’s the Man , A Midsummer Night’s Dream became Get Over It , Pygmalion became She’s All That and The Taming of the Shrew became 10 Things I Hate About You . And Dangerous Liaisons became the most excitedly whispered-about pulpy teen sex drama of the decade – the one where Buffy the Vampire Slayer seduces her step-brother with the never-to-be-forgotten offer: “You can put it anywhere”.
If the template’s central attraction lay in the playful contrast between the teen-movie genre and the scholarly source material, then Cruel Intentions mined this for all it was worth: lowering the tone, upping the vulgarity, and telling its steamy story with gleefully frivolous tone. Depending on your age, it appealed as either thrillingly grown-up drama or hilariously guilty-pleasure trash.
But while the film’s promotional material featured its stars in skimpy outfits and the picnic-scene kiss between Sarah Michelle Gellar and Selma Blair became an early (and much-parodied) viral sensation, the film’s raunchiest moments were all verbal ones. It’s real turn-on was a screenplay that ran the full gamut from suggestive to risqué to laugh-out-loud outrageous.
For the army of enraptured 12-year-olds who got their hands on a VHS copy, this bawdy verboseness lent the film a sophisticated, adult sensibility. Looking back now, of course, Cruel Intentions is about as openly adolescent as they come (“How are things down under?” our pervy protagonist asks Blair on her return from Australia). The screenplay’s trump card, though, was less its racy content than its sheer unrepentant spirit: it was appealing to randy teenagers via cheap means, and it didn’t mind admitting it.
In many ways this unashamed juvenilia made it an infinitely more mature film than something like Closer, which five years later lured in the same generation of kids via the same brand of smut-tastic dialogue, but this time did so while masquerading as Serious Grown-Up Drama.
"You know what your problem is?" Reece Witherspoon tells a chastened Ryan Philippe in Cruel Intentions . "You take yourself way too seriously." Nothing could be less true of the film itself – and therein lay its brilliance.
A longing romance between human and non-human has been a surprisingly frequent feature of Hollywood cinema since King Kong turned on the charm with Fay Wray back in 1933. Since then we've had romances between human and amphibian ( The Shape of Water ), human and shop-window dummy ( Mannequin ), and human and inflatable sex doll ( Lars and the Real Girl ). And when it comes to human and computer programme, well, Weird Science , Electric Dreams and S1m0ne have all tackled that from one angle or other.
But while all those movie all tended towards the fantastical or comedic, Spike Jonze's 2013 film is notable for playing its central romance – between a depressed divorcee and his Alexa-like virtual assistant – almost totally straight.
Despite sounding like the plot of an unbearably quirky absurdist comedy, Her comes about as close to a genuine romantic drama as its premise permits. The relationship between Joaquin Phoenix’s miserable Theodore and his husky-voiced operating system (Scarlett Johansson, obviously) is sincere and candid – on the part of both parties – and is played for neither easy laughs nor clever-clogs social satire. And while its central relationship may turn out to be even more prescient than we thought, the way the film draws a contrast between Theodore's readiness for a digital relationship and his complete incompetence when it comes to human intimacy has only become more timely in the near-decade since the film’s release.
In the end, the vital scene may be the one when Theodore and Isabella try, somewhat inevitably, to consummate their blossoming relationship. They do so via the use of a human surrogate, and it is an all-too-real situation that a panicked Theodore can’t handle and quickly curtails. His online amour has been a sweet and satisfying remedy to his chronic loneliness… but it comes at a real-world price.
The late 80s and early 90s saw the quickfire rise and fall of one of cinemas most fascinating subgenres: the erotic thriller. Hollywood tends to work in trends, but rarely as frenzied or short-lived as this. In the six years after Fatal Attraction was released in 1987, we got Sleeping With The Enemy , Poison Ivy , Single White Female
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