18 Virgin Sex 07 12
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18 Virgin Sex 07 12
A new study reveals some surprising results.
Photo: Arthur Elgort, Teen Vogue May 2009
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The team at SuperDrug Online Doctor has just released a new study on one of the biggest taboos in American culture — virginity. The study, "American Virgin: First-Time Sex Trends of U.S. Males and Females" reveals trends on when Americans are losing their virginity, and what factors affect when this happens. The main one being a lack of sex education at school and at home. Among their various findings, one of the most interesting is that the total number of people who have ever had same-sex sexual contact is 11.5%. That’s more than 1 out of 10 people. To get these results, they analyzed World Health Organization, Center for Disease Control and National Survey of Family Growth data.
For the purpose of this study, the definition of virginity loss is whether the respondent had heterosexual vaginal intercourse. With that in mind, the average age of virginity loss for American men is 16.9 years old, and the average age for American women is 17.2 years old. The percentage of Americans who have never had sex is consistently higher for young women than young men between ages 15-18. Meaning there are more female virgins than male virgins between ages 15-18. What’s interesting is that at age 19, when many teens have left their parents home and are in college, there is a higher percentage of men who haven’t had sex. Meaning, there are more 19-year-old male virgins than there are 19-year-old female virgins.
You may wonder with whom these 15-19-year-olds are losing their virginity. According to American Virgin, “males’ first sexual experiences tend to be with women just six months older than them, while females’ are typically with men nearly a year and a half older.” This trend is probably due to only one of two partners being virgins — you can be the first sexual partner of more than one person. Whatever the reason, to get personal, this definitely brings up memories of being a freshman girl in college and walking by a group of older guys who jokingly referred to me as “fresh meat.” Gross.
While this study doesn’t look at college as a factor for virginity loss, it does look at several other factors: parents, smoking activity, and sex ed. For Americans ages 15-44, about 58.1% were raised by two biological or adoptive parents, and 41.9% were not. The average age of virginity loss in a household with two parents is 17.6 years old. The average age of virginity loss in a household without two parents is 16 years old. This means Americans tend to lose their virginity a year-and-a-half earlier if they do not live with two parents. Furthermore, about 6% of those who didn’t grow up in a household with two parents lost their virginity at age 12 or younger. That’s compared to 2% of those living in a two-parent household.
Since 12 is not an age when legal consent is possible, the study suggests that this reflects the overall prevalence of non-consensual sex reported by all survey respondents: 15.2% of women experienced involuntary sex with men, but only 4.7% of men experienced involuntary sex with women. Overall, the household trend tells us people who grow up in a two-parent household are likely to lose their virginities at an older age.
Another parent-related finding is that over 1 in 4 people surveyed said their parents never talked to them about sex. Interestingly enough, a similar number of people surveyed (though not necessarily the same exact people) did not use a contraceptive the first time they had sex. Parents majorly dropped the ball when it comes to educating their kids on consent — half of people surveyed said their parents never talked about how to say “no” to sex. Same goes for sex ed: 27% of American teenagers never learned how to say “no” to sex in school — and, on average, they’re losing their virginity slightly earlier because of it. This leads us to believe that Americans need some serious educating when it comes to consent .
Lastly, let’s talk smoking and sex. Random, right? Maybe not — the study looked at data regarding smokers and nonsmokers, and though there's no evidence that smoking causes virginity loss, The American Virgin suggests, “maybe women who smoke are risk-taking in other ways.” (The study only looks at females in this section because data relating male smokers and age of virginity loss was unavailable.) They report frequent smokers have sex nearly two years earlier than infrequent smokers and nonsmokers. Females who smoke 2 or more cigarettes a day lost their virginity at an average age of 15.6, while females who reported smoking 1 or fewer cigarettes a day lost their virginity at an average age of 17.5 years old. While we love women who aren’t afraid to take risks, please avoid risk-taking that causes 1 in 5 deaths a year.
And there you have it. Overall, this study suggests that schools are severely under-educating their students about sex, and that parents are not picking up the slack at home. The irony in this is that 28 states (more than half) do not legally require schools to have sex education programs, and this is primarily because people feel sexual education should be taught at the parent’s discretion. In some cases that means schools offer optional sex-ed classes that require permission slips from parents, but in other cases it means there are no sex-ed classes offered at all.
Not only is sex ed necessary for understanding basic human reproduction, but sex ed is responsible for teaching people from a young age that consent is the difference sex and rape. Consequently, consent is the difference between having fun and traumatizing someone for life. Unfortunately, some parents who are uncomfortable with sex education in schools are also uncomfortable with sex education at home, leaving teens completely unprepared for sexual encounters. This leaves us with one question: if no one teaches teens about sex, how will they know what consent is?
For more information on sexual education, check out these videos below.
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film van The Asylum / Uit Wikipedia, de vrije encyclopedie
18 Year Old Virgin is een Amerikaanse komische film uit 2009 van The Asylum , geregisseerd door Tamara Olson met Olivia Alaina May . [1]
Olivia Alaina May Lauren Walsh Todd Leigh
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Inside Cambodia's highly secretive upmarket virgin trade.
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Dara Keo and her mother, Rotana, were both in tears when it was time for her to leave. A motorized rickshaw had arrived to transport 12-year-old Keo from her one-room shack in Cambodia's capital, Phnom Penh, to an unknown location. Keo was crying because she was terrified. Rotana was crying because she knew she had done something unspeakable: She had sold her daughter's virginity to a rich, powerful man. The rickshaw driver took Keo to an underground medical clinic. A corrupt doctor on the payroll of brokers who arrange the sale of virgins examined her to check that her hymen was intact and gave her a blood test for HIV infection. "He confirmed I was a virgin and disease-free," says Keo, now 17. "Then I was taken to the man who bought me. I had to stay with him for one week while he raped me many times without a condom."
Cambodia's highly secretive upmarket virgin trade is a world apart from the capital's rowdy, neon-lit bars and karaoke clubs where foreign tourists and locals can buy sex for $10 or $20. Its clients are high-ranking officials from the Cambodian government, military, and police force, as well as other members of Asia's wealthy elite, who pay between $500 and $5,000 to sleep with a virgin.
Hostesses at Cambodian beer gardens are often targeted by men looking to purchase their virginity.'
Worldwide an estimated 4.5 million people are trafficked for sex or forced into prostitution, and 98 percent of the victims are women and girls, according to the International Labour Organization. In the United States, around 300,000 children are reported to be at risk of sexual exploitation. In Cambodia, an impoverished nation of only 15 million people, "many thousands" of Cambodian girls and women are sold for their virginity every year, says Dr. Chhiv Kek Pung, the president of Cambodia's leading human rights organization, Licadho. (There are no hard figures due to the trade's secrecy.)
The virgin trade thrives partly due to a cultural myth. "Many older Asian men believe sex with virgins gives them magical powers to stay young and prevent illness," she explains. "There is an endless number of destitute families for the trade to prey on, and the rule of law is very weak." Human trafficking, sexual exploitation, and the buying and selling of sex are illegal in Cambodia. However, because of official corruption and substandard police resources, no one has ever been convicted of purchasing virgins in Cambodia's courts.
'Worldwide an estimated 4.5 million people are trafficked for sex or forced into prostitution, 98 percent of whom are woman and girls.'
The belief that sex with virgins can prolong lifespan, originally from Taoist thought, has long been popular with Asian leaders. People's Republic of China founder Chairman Mao had a well-documented love of virgins. The North Korean regime allegedly keeps elite troops of virgins ages 14 to 20 known as "satisfaction teams," who are forced to provide sex to senior party officials.
In addition to rich locals, men from neighboring countries such as China, Singapore, and Vietnam are regular customers in Cambodia. "They travel here on business and have everything prearranged by brokers: a five-star hotel, a few rounds of golf, and a night or two with a virgin," says Eric Meldrum, a former police detective from the United Kingdom who now works as an anti-exploitation consultant in Phnom Penh. "The men know they can get away with it."
Home to more then 1,000 people, the Phnom Penh riverside slum where I meet Keo and her mother is a splintering jumble of wooden shacks alongside rancid water. Keo says that here, almost every teenage girl is sold for her virginity at some point. "Everyone knows, but nobody talks about it."
SHE HAD DONE SOMETHING UNSPEAKABLE: SHE HAD SOLD HER DAUGHTER's VIRGINITY TO A RICH, POWERFUL MAN.
Female chastity in Cambodia is enshrined in a code of obedience known as Chbab Srey ("Women's Law"), and the girls suffer unjust shame. "There's a national saying that men are like gold and women are like cloth," says Tong Soprach, who does independent research on Cambodia's youth for nongovernmental organizations (NGOs) and government bodies. "If you drop gold in the dirt, it washes clean and still shines. If you drop cloth, the stain never comes out." As a result, it is often hard for girls to marry or get regular jobs if they admit what happened to them.
Keo and Rotana tell their story inside the tiny room on stilts they rent for $10 a month. Outside, babies wail and hammers bang, and the walls shake as people traverse the slum's rickety pathways. Quiet-spoken Rotana, 62, says the decision to sell her daughter's virginity was a "last resort."
'Vannith Uy, 41, holds a photo of herself (right) and her daugther, Chamnan Sok. Uy sold her daughter\'s virginity when she was 18.'
Rotana married relatively late, in her 30s, and had six children. She was unable to marry earlier because romantic relationships and family life were banned under the bloody communist regime of the Khmer Rouge, during which an estimated 2 million people died in the 1970s. Three of her children died from fever, and she earned as little as $1 a day as a trash recycler to support the remaining three. (Keo is the youngest.) Her husband drank and played cards. "He died a few years ago, leaving gambling debts. His creditors threatened violence when I couldn't pay," Rotana says. A female neighbor working as a broker, or middlewoman, approached Rotana. "She said she felt sorry for me and promised me big money if I sold Keo's virginity." The virgin trade recruits local women to lure girls because they can befriend mothers easily. Often, they are former trafficking victims or sex workers themselves. "Fear and worry about the debts made me ill," Rotana says. "Finally, I gave in."
In a country where about a third of the population lives on less than $1 a day, the temptation to accept large lump sums for a daughter's virginity can prove irresistible. While rates vary, most families receive around $1,500, which is equivalent to four years' salary.
Keo is sitting on the floor dressed in mismatched floral pajamas. "When my mom told me she needed me to sleep with a strange man, I was very scared. We both wept for a long time," she says. Rotana was so desperate she accepted a fee of only $500 ($100 went to the broker). Keo says she "agreed" to be sold—although, as a 12-year-old, it's unlikely she had much choice or fully understood her fate. "I wanted to save my mother," Keo says.
She was taken to meet her buyer in a room in an exclusive hotel after her visit to the medical clinic. The man, wearing a dark suit and a gold watch, insisted on a doctor's certificate attesting that she was a genuine virgin. (Some brokers try to trick clients by surgically restoring a girl's hymen, so she can be sold multiple times.) "He ordered me to undress. Then he pinned me down on the bed, unzipped his pants, and forced himself into me," Keo says. "The pain was excruciating."
I ask about the man's identity. Keo and Rotana give me the name of a Cambodian politician who is still in office, but they refuse to reveal his name publicly. (To protect their safety, their names have also been changed as well as the names of other mothers and daughters mentioned in this story.)
Keo's ordeal went on for a week, a common length of time for men to keep each virgin they buy. The man forbade her to leave the room and visited her for sex two or three times a day. "He was very forceful," she says. "A few times he asked if he was hurting me. When I told him yes, he used even more force." She wasn't allowed to contact home. "When I was alone, I watched TV and cried myself to sleep." By the time she was freed, her vagina was torn and bruised. Her mother took her to a local doctor, who gave her painkillers and said her injuries would "heal on their own." Keo found it agonizing to walk or urinate for two weeks.
Sophleap Thai, 35, was sold to a brothel at age 18.'
If Keo feels anger towards her mother for selling her, it's buried deep. After recounting her story, she says nothing except that she feels "sad" about what happened to her. Rotana doesn't speak at all. Despite everything, Keo continues to support Rotana, who is now in poor health, by washing laundry for $20 per week.
Loyalty to parents is paramount in Cambodia. "The attitude is children exist for their parents' benefit, not the other way around," says Nget Thy, executive director of the Cambodian Center for the Protection of Children's Rights. "Children have a strong duty to pay back their parents for raising them. The concept of child rights is very weak."
While Thy believes poverty is the root cause of most parents' selling their daughters for sex, he says factors such as gambling and alcohol and drug abuse also play a role. "Playing cards for money or betting on soccer is very popular," he says. "Both men and women become addicted." And, because gambling is illegal for Cambodians, those who get caught often face the added expense of bribing police to escape criminal charges. With girls at risk of being sold by their own families, and without effective law enforcement or government intervention, the task of trying to help virgin trade victims is left mainly to nonprofit organizations working inside Cambodia.
THE TEMPTATION TO ACCEPT LARGE LUMP SUMS FOR A DAUGHTER'S VIRGINITY CAN PROVE IRRESISTIBLE.
Rattana Chey, 21, who lives close to Keo's slum, discovered her gambling-addicted mother was plotting to sell her virginity six years ago. Chey fled to Riverkids, a nongovernmental organization with an office in her riverside neighborhood. Founded in 2007 by a group of volunteers in Singapore, the NGO has four offices in Cambodia that provide refuge, schooling, and vocational training for children.
"Riverkids offered my family rice in exchange for not selling me," Chey explains. The rice was worth around $10 and helped feed the family of eight. They also gave her mother a microloan so she could set up her own food cart and sell bread to help break her gambling habit. "I have six siblings, and my father is a construction worker. He often has no work at all." Riverkids enrolled Chey in one of its programs to learn sewing. Thanks to the course, Chey now earns good money making clothes to help her family. Yet her mother still attempts periodically to sell her virginity, tempted by the huge sums of cash on offer. "A businessman from Singapore has offered $4,000 to sleep with me," she says. "My mother desperately wants me to agree." With the support of Riverkids, which has helped more than 900 vulnerable young people in Phnom Penh, Chey is able to resist her pressure.
Chesthavy Soun, a Cambodian senior social worker at Riverkids, says the organization works closely with families to change attitudes. "Some parents' thinking is very short-term," she says. "We try to show them that allowing their daughters to get an education and learn job skills is much more valuable." They also work to remove the stigma attached to girls whose virginity has already been sold. "We've had quite a few cases of girls becoming pregnant or needing treatment for STIs as a result of their ordeals. They are often shunned because they can't hide what's happened to them," Soun says. "We help them to get job training in things like hairdressing and computers so they can earn a regular income. This helps them to regain some respect in their communities."
Eradicating the virgin trade is slow and painstaking. Yet the process could be hastened if law enforcement made catching brokers and buyers a priority. But effective polic
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