15 16 17 Sex
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16 almost 17 year old son having sex with 15 year old girl
Hello Ladies. Whilst discussing school and relationships with my son today, I was shocked to hear that he had had sex with his girlfriend. I am usually quite open about sex and relationships, and I have talked to him about it in the past nut I think I am more worried and scared for him.
He tells me he has been with his girlfriend for around 2 months now. I was aware of their relationship and I have even met her a few times (however she is usually very shy). My son is soon to be 17 and I am scared and worried for him in case anything unfortunate were to happen to him.
As far as I can tell, the law is very specific about sexual activity between a >16 year old and a <16 year old. I have not spoken to the girlfriends parents so I am not aware or not if they know as well. I am worried because I hear that teens can be sent to prison for up to 5 years.
I fear that I will fall out with my son if I try to stop his relationship. I asked him if he was being safe (he is) and left the subject. What can I do about this? I think my son is mature enough to handle a complex relationship however I fear that the law will not be too forgiving.
Sorry if this seems a bit unstructured, I am very confused and conflicted about all of this.x
Very difficult situation. As legally as the girl is underage she can't give consent (as I understand it), your son therefore should anything go wrong (eg they fall out + the girl makes an accusation, or her parent makes a complaint) he could end up with a crim record for a sex offence. Maybe look a bit more into the leaglities of age of consent + provide your son with the facts. As he could be having sex with someone who legally cannot consent..... !
Found out 15 year old daughter has had sex with 16 year old boyfriend
Very difficult situation. As legally as the girl is underage she can't give consent (as I understand it), your son therefore should anything go wrong (eg they fall out + the girl makes an accusation, or her parent makes a complaint) he could end up with a crim record for a sex offence. Maybe look a bit more into the leaglities of age of consent + provide your son with the facts. As he could be having sex with someone who legally cannot consent..... !
OK. After gathering up some courage, I asked my son a few further questions. Apparently he is aware of the law and the consequences. It seems to me that he thinks that this girl is worth the risk. I told him that I supported him and his relationship and I can understand his point of view. He also told me that he really likes this girl, more than anybody he has had a relationship with in the past. Now I am not sure if these are words of wisdom but if this relationship is really that important and he is willing to take the risk can I, as a parent, protect him if the worst was to come?
Hi Sarah. It's a difficult situation as I was having sex at 15 and would never have thought about pressing charges against anyone however I do know someone that was on the sex offenders register for having sex with a 15 year old when he was 17. Although if they have decided to have a sexual relationship then I really don't know how you could stop it. I guess you just have to hope they are both mature enough and you never know, some early relationships do last x
Just so you know, it's very very very rare that a 16 year old would be prosecuted for sleeping with a 15 year old.
If allegations were made they don't just take into account the law. They take into account the actual difference in age (few months), length of relationship ship, other sexual activities etc.
Hi Sarah. It's a difficult situation as I was having sex at 15 and would never have thought about pressing charges against anyone however I do know someone that was on the sex offenders register for having sex with a 15 year old when he was 17. Although if they have decided to have a sexual relationship then I really don't know how you could stop it. I guess you just have to hope they are both mature enough and you never know, some early relationships do last x
Thank you. I think as far as I can see, and from what I have read, it depends on the girl and her family. I have very little experience with criminal law, and as far as I understand, the police will be prosecuting at the end of the day. So it very much depends on how far the other family are willing to go?
I also worry that my son will feel 'trapped' in a relationship. If things do not turn out well for him, I fear he might be 'forced' to keep a relationship because of this legal threat. I don't want my son to be put under that kind of pressure and guilt, especially for doing something that is natural.
I think I will talk to him one last time (obviously taking questions in the future) but what advice or support can I give him. Especially if the relationship does not work or the girls parents find out.
I am also thinking of approaching the girls parents on this subject but I cannot think for the life of me a good way to bring this up or even discuss anything of the sorts.
Sarah you honestly sound like you are doing perfectly. I've been that child (and now am a mother) and if you had demanded an end to the relationship (which my mum did, she was quite controlling) then they would do it behind your back and your son would lose your trust. The law is clear but teenagers are not and they will do it anyway.
You are very right that it depends on the girl and her family so if you feel comfortable meeting them then I highly recommend it and it will put your mind at ease.
You sound like a great mum and I hope my 10 year old feels like he can talk to me about these things x
Am I pregnant or could it be a false positive?
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