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12 yr old daughter has had sex. Help!!!
12 yr old daughter has had sex. Help!!!
My daughter and I have always had a great relationship. Since going up to the big school her attitude has changed after reading on here this seems to happen to most kids but the sex thing I really can't cope with. Her father and I split up when she was really young, he still has contact with her every other weekend and we remained civil to each other. I haven't had relationships since really, the odd date here and there on my free weekends. Her dad has had a few relationships since our split and my daughter seemed to get on with the ladies and their kids. When she went up to big school the lying and the behaviour peeked. She was talking in class and not listening. Her work has suffered. She had a android phone that she would be up at night on... Occasionally I would check the phone and one incident I saw she had posted her semi naked naked photo to a boy... I was mortified. We argued over this as she didn't even know the boy! I explained how dangerous this was but she said I was been over dramatic. I took the phone off her, punished her by grounding etc kept trying to talk to her about her body and her dignity etc. Eventually she won me round and she got the phone back. Things were OK for a while, so I thought not realising she had just got wise and started deleting her history and photos.. Long story short, I read on the msgs that she had sex with a boy... She is 12!!! The boy is 16... She is also sending sexual msgs to other boys... I just don't understand why and I'm at a loss... Doctors have advised to to contact mind. I'm am waiting on their response... Please anyone????
My daughter and I have always had a great relationship. Since going up to the big school her attitude has changed after reading on here this seems to happen to most kids but the sex thing I really can't cope with. Her father and I split up when she was really young, he still has contact with her every other weekend and we remained civil to each other. I haven't had relationships since really, the odd date here and there on my free weekends. Her dad has had a few relationships since our split and my daughter seemed to get on with the ladies and their kids. When she went up to big school the lying and the behaviour peeked. She was talking in class and not listening. Her work has suffered. She had a android phone that she would be up at night on... Occasionally I would check the phone and one incident I saw she had posted her semi naked naked photo to a boy... I was mortified. We argued over this as she didn't even know the boy! I explained how dangerous this was but she said I was been over dramatic. I took the phone off her, punished her by grounding etc kept trying to talk to her about her body and her dignity etc. Eventually she won me round and she got the phone back. Things were OK for a while, so I thought not realising she had just got wise and started deleting her history and photos.. Long story short, I read on the msgs that she had sex with a boy... She is 12!!! The boy is 16... She is also sending sexual msgs to other boys... I just don't understand why and I'm at a loss... Doctors have advised to to contact mind. I'm am waiting on their response... Please anyone????
First and foremost, has your daughter actually had sex, or is she just saying this?
This is something you need to find out. Also,has your daughter started her periods? If, she has had sex,and has started her periods, pray to God,she is not pregnant.
Your daughter is a child, and the boy. Who is 16 was breaking the law.
Take her phone off her,explain to her, until she can be totally trusted,she won't be getting it back. No disrespect or offence,can't understand why doctor told you to contact Mind.
Hi
if this is happening the boy has broken the law.
Personally i would tak to the police get someone round that can talk to her on a professional level. and get her checked for pregnancy and stds
The doctor gave her a pregnancy test and not sure if she has or hasn't. She lies constantly... The doctor said mind would be able to advise, my mind is reeling with it all.. I didn't want to contact police I case it isn't true... But if it is true this boy needs to be stopped...
Perhaps you should trying talking to her, rather than getting angry and punishing her (I agree that this is what she deserves don't get me wrong). There is obviously something going on with your daughter and this is why she is shouting out for attention with the photos and allegations of sexual activity. Maybe try get to the bottom of what's going on with her and you might stand a better chance of keeping her safe. She is likely to push away from you if you get angry before actually listening to her.
Ive tried talking and I guess I'm the last person she wants to talk to.. Being her mother all I want is to protect her but I can't if she won't listen or talk to me
I wonder if your daughter would talk to a counsellor,if she is refusing to talk to you.
It's a hard one because I no 12 years old is young but when it happens it happens. Best way my mum delt with me when I had sex at 15 I was with him 3 years after but she took me to the doctors got me tested for stis and got the coil fitted for me. Then I felt more closer to her like she understood. X
There is a HUGE difference between a 15 year old who is almost old enough to consent and a 12 year old CHILD.

I have a son the same age and would be absolutely horrified if he was having sex. It sounds though that there is a lot more going on here than just the sexual activity (or not depending on the lies) and I would be seeking urgent referral to mental health or a counsellor.
12 yr old daughter lying and stealing:(
Caught my 14 yr old Daughter having sex in my house
first thing i would do is get her on the pill and make sure she takes it properly.

i dont want to seem like i am encouraging this but if she is going to be sexually active then you can at least try and prevent a pregnancy.
Surely you know if she is telling the truth or not. At 12 years old I knew where my child was at all times, because they are a child.

The phone pictures need to stop asap, the can be classed as child porn both by the person sending and the one receiving even if one of them is the subject. Tell her if caught she could face being banned from all sorts of jobs in future.

Tell her you are calling the police as both were underage and see how she reacts. Her reaction should tell you the truth.
My daughter and I have always had a great relationship. Since going up to the big school her attitude has changed after reading on here this seems to happen to most kids but the sex thing I really can't cope with. Her father and I split up when she was really young, he still has contact with her every other weekend and we remained civil to each other. I haven't had relationships since really, the odd date here and there on my free weekends. Her dad has had a few relationships since our split and my daughter seemed to get on with the ladies and their kids. When she went up to big school the lying and the behaviour peeked. She was talking in class and not listening. Her work has suffered. She had a android phone that she would be up at night on... Occasionally I would check the phone and one incident I saw she had posted her semi naked naked photo to a boy... I was mortified. We argued over this as she didn't even know the boy! I explained how dangerous this was but she said I was been over dramatic. I took the phone off her, punished her by grounding etc kept trying to talk to her about her body and her dignity etc. Eventually she won me round and she got the phone back. Things were OK for a while, so I thought not realising she had just got wise and started deleting her history and photos.. Long story short, I read on the msgs that she had sex with a boy... She is 12!!! The boy is 16... She is also sending sexual msgs to other boys... I just don't understand why and I'm at a loss... Doctors have advised to to contact mind. I'm am waiting on their response... Please anyone????
Hi Linda

No wonder you are so concerned. It sounds to me as if your daughter has started mixing with people who, according to them, are living a very "full" life indeed... I suspect that she is surrounded by others telling her that "everyone does it". These photos could end up just about anywhere as once they are out there, there is no getting them back. Does your daughter think that this young man can be trusted to keep these images all to himself? If she does, then I suspect that she is in for a big surprise. As I understand it, the law is that circulating such pictures of under-age young people is illegal (there seems to be an idea with some young people that if they choose to do this, then that is not illegal). How does she think a criminal record might look to a future employer?

As for her having sex, when exactly did this happen? Could it be that she is saying this just to make herself look good (as she sees it) in the eyes of her peers? As you say, if she thinks you are being "over-dramatic", then it is going to be very hard to discuss your concerns with her. Perhaps at some point she will understand that the people who are encouraging this and are telling her that it is all perfectly normal don't have her best interests at heart, but you do...

You say that you are on civil terms with your daughter's father. Would it be possible to talk to him? Perhaps he could speak to her from the "male" point of view. The father of a school-friend of mine used to say "I know what teenage boys are like, I used to be one"... Perhaps he can enlighten her to the double-standards that sometimes exist in the male mind.

Best wishes.
Yes there is a massive difference between 12 and 15 but your still a child and in the same mind set. !
Just make sure she's covered and protected from pregnancy and stis.
There is a lot of 12 year old having sex now Days!! My brother is 12 and tells everything from school so it don't shock me loads of kids now days are more mature than there real age.
I am a mum too and if my son was having sex at that age I would give him condoms and make sure that the other parent knows ! Because if u rebel against your daughter she will get worse trust me. My sister was horrible at 12 because my mum didn't no how to deal with it. I am a very strict mum but because I got brought up around certain thing I no how I'll deal with them now

Xxxxx
12 yr old with fear of injections....
Found out 15 year old daughter has had sex with 16 year old boyfriend
If your daughter is sexually active, it is really frightening She is a child,has no idea of the consequences.
I'm only 17 myself this just blew me away! I waited till I was 16 after being with my now boyfriend, we've been together 4 years and he's now 20, if you wanted someone abit older to talk to your daughter is be happy to do so! I sent pictures to a boy who made me do it, when your young you get scared that people are going to just leave you, and this is what that boy did to me! I feel for you I really do, me and my oh had a son together who was sadly stillborn, but I just can't imagine it if he was alive and at that age! At that age I didn't even have my pwriod, we're all here for you completely! I have a younger sister and if she did this is be mortified, maybe she needs someone closer to her age to discuss this with! I know I'm babbling and most of this won't even make any sense, I just want you to know that we're all here for you, she may well be lying to impress people, but if she has had sex, then she has, someone needs to tell her that it's a very adult thing to do, and if she's mature enough to have sex them she needs to be one the pill or something xxxxz
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