12 Years Old Teen

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12-Year-Old Child Development Milestones
Verywell Family's content is for informational and educational purposes only. Our website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
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Amy Morin, LCSW, is the Editor-in-Chief of Verywell Mind. She's also a psychotherapist, international bestselling author and host of the The Verywell Mind Podcast.
Medically reviewed by Joel Forman, MD on August 28, 2018
Joel Forman, MD, is a board-certified pediatrician and associate professor of pediatrics, environmental medicine, and public health at Mount Sinai School of Medicine.
During the tween years, your child inches closer every day to being a full-fledged teenager. Fortunately, all of the changes that go along with the teen years—physical, social, emotional, and cognitive—happen slowly over a period of a time giving you time to prepare.
Typically, 12-year-olds have moments of both acting like the child you have always known and suddenly turning into a little adult right in front of you. Discover how to be prepared for the physical, emotional, social, and cognitive development that happens at this time.
Age 12 is smack-dab in the middle of the years in which girls begin puberty. It's also right at the beginning of the typical age that a boy starts going through the process as well.1
In girls, you will notice breast development, hair growth, and, last, menstruation. In boys, puberty begins with the penis and testicles getting bigger, then hair growth in the pubic area and underarms, and then facial hair growth, muscle growth, and the deepening of his voice.
This isn’t the time to turn a blind eye to your tween’s growing sexuality even though it’s a hard road to journey down. So if you need help starting the conversation, talk to your child's doctor on how to broach the topic with your child.
Teenage emotions are no joke, and you probably will get a taste of the wild ride over the next year. They love their parents but want nothing to do with them. They feel victorious and then feel as though they have failed everything. There will be moments of happiness, bumps of sadness, and then it will repeat all over again.
During this time, kids start to find their leadership skills and begin to understand the idea of giving back to the community. Encourage these skills by letting them take part in decision-making processes in the home and supporting involvement in community or school activities.
Balance independence and leadership with maintaining house rules and keeping your tween safe.1 Talk frequently about the things your 12-year-old would like to be able to do on their own and continually make compromises when it feels appropriate.
Friends are becoming more important than ever, but the opposite sex is climbing in importance, too.2 Your 12-year-old thinks it’s important to belong, which often means finding independence from parents and other family members, but with that comes the risk of peer pressure.
Keep communication channels open and available to your 12-year-old. Your child might start experiencing situations that they're not ready for or don't know how to deal with, including all that goes along with peer pressure and growing up. Even though your tween is establishing their independence, they still need to know that their parents are available for support.
A 12-year-old’s brain has stopped growing in size, but it’s nowhere near done developing. Abstract thinking, problem-solving, and logic are all becoming easier,3 but the prefrontal cortex, which plays a role in impulse control and organizational skills, is still immature.
By 12, most children have a strong command of language and communication skills. They are able to think beyond literal interpretations, and proverbs and idioms won’t fly over their heads anymore. You will probably get your first taste of sarcasm, and they will understand tone, as well as the actual language, in a conversation.
Twelve-year-olds are starting to spend their free time on activities such as organized sports, video games, and social activities with friends. Continue to keep an eye on the amount of screen time your tween is getting and encourage them to stay active, even if they’re not into organized sports.
Stay in contact with your child’s teachers—without becoming a nuisance—and remain active in their academic life. Don’t wait until the report card comes home with a bad grade to ensure that your pre-teen is performing academically to their best ability. If there are academic issues, find the root cause rather than get upset, as it could be anything from an eye problem to a learning disability.
Many 12-year-olds begin exploring the morals of their peer group. So, don't be surprised if your 12-year-old announces they want to adopt a new lifestyle so they can live like their friend's family or that they want to explore a new religion.
Exploring morality is a normal part of the development process.3 So while it's important to explain your morals and establish rules that promote morality in your household, don't worry too much when your child says they don't agree with your beliefs.
Physical and emotional development don’t always go hand-in-hand when a child is evolving into a teenager. Don’t be concerned if your child doesn’t seem emotionally ready for activities that others their age are doing, or vice versa.
Stay connected with your tween’s emotional state of mind to be aware of mental health issues, such as depression, that can pop up at this time.4 While some moodiness is normal, concerns about a 12-year-old’s health and mental well-being should be discussed with a pediatrician or mental health provider.
If you have concerns about a tween’s academic life, such as their inability to keep up in class, schedule an appointment with the teacher. They often have resources to help you and may be able to offer insight that you might not have considered.
It’s time to make sure your child has the skills they're going to need to thrive during their teenage years. If they lack social skills, their struggles may become especially problematic when they enter high school.
Proactively look for areas where your child may need some help sharpening their skills. Provide extra support by teaching, guiding, and practicing together. If your support isn’t having an impact, consider seeking professional help.
Get expert tips to help your kids stay healthy and happy.
Verywell Family uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
American Academy of Pediatrics. Early adolescence (ages 10 to 13). Updated March 28, 2019.
Christie D, Viner R. Adolescent development. BMJ. 2005;330(7486):301-4. doi:10.1136/bmj.330.7486.301
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Young teens (12-14 years of age). Updated March 6, 2020.
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Verywell Family's content is for informational and educational purposes only. Our website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
Ⓒ 2021 About, Inc. (Dotdash) — All rights reserved
Verywell Family is part of the Dotdash publishing family.

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