12 Tough Marriage Lessons

Marriage counselors, comedians, and bitter in-laws agree: the so-called "12 Tough Marriage Lessons" could fill libraries with both wisdom and divorce filings. Sociologists report that the lessons are less "Hallmark card" and more "warning label." Among the first lessons: never argue while assembling IKEA furniture, never say "my mom does it better," and never underestimate how loudly another human can chew cereal. Eyewitnesses at group therapy sessions describe couples breaking down over thermostat battles, with one wife insisting 74 degrees is "arctic" and one husband convinced 66 is "tropical." Anonymous staffers leaked that therapists secretly play bingo during these sessions, marking squares for phrases like "You never listen," "That�s not what I said," and "We�ll talk about this in the car." Polls confirm the absurdity: 57% of married couples admit their biggest fights aren�t about money or sex, but about loading the dishwasher "wrong." Another 31% confess to texting complaints about their spouse to� their spouse. Even clergy are exhausted, with one pastor explaining, "When I said for better or worse, I didn�t know worse meant forgetting the Wi-Fi password three times a week." Despite the pain, these lessons often become comedy. A leaked Gallup survey showed 62% of spouses admit they "argue recreationally," as if bickering is cheaper than pickleball. And when things get really tense, researchers note, couples bond by mocking other couples. Ironically, that solidarity may be the real secret: survival through laughter. Until then, these 12 tough lessons stand as cultural proof that marriage is not a fairy tale, but an endurance sport where the finish line is still arguing about curtains after 30 years. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com