11 Year Old Pregnant
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Source(s): Life Span Development Major, work with young children to observe effects of parenting methods.
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Okay so I've posted about how may daughter might be pregnant well she was and I posted if I should let her keep the baby or not I know she's not ready for the responsibility and other thing's that come with being a mom but she is begging me to let her keep it and I don't have an answer for her.Please help?
Well she's been babysitting since she was 7 years old she's a pretty good responsible kid I really don't beleive in abortion and adoption is really not the way to go I don't want the baby growing up searching for his or her real mom.I really need help.
Nevaeh said she promises to be a mother and take as much responsibility as possible she knows it will be tough and she told me this is all she is a very good kid with strait A's but when I think more about when i was in fifth grade I was still playing with barbie dolls but she insissed on keeping the baby I just can't I'm 28 and a grandma soon?
I've been thinking about it for a while I have considered every answer accept the insalting ones and have though and thought but I made my decission maybe a child will help her get through all the problems she'll end up with I know when I'm upset looking at her face clears my mind.So I decided why not? I'm Gonna Let Her KEEP THE BABY.
First of all... where the hell were you when she was out getting pregnant!?... second of all... make her be accountable for her own actions... if shes old enough to have sex... shes old enough to have it... if youre financially stable enough... raise it with her... be there for her!
I believe that you may have already answered this serious dilemma yourself.
Being pro-life it would be very damaging emotionally to go through an abortion [or rather, your daughter go through one].
If she isn't ready mentally and socially to keep and raise the baby, have you thought about adoption or fostering? If you have a very close family friend or someone in your social community [church, neighboorhood, a very dear friend] that would consider temporarily fostering the baby, or even adopting the baby, that would be a good path to take, although it is completely up to you and your daughter.
This way, she could still interact and care for the baby, but also have time to concentrate on school and the hardships she will soon face being a young mother.
You did not mention what state you live in, but I know for many states [40+] the minimum age for recieving your GED is thirteen. So right now, it is not an option for her to be missing school due to raising a child, and she can be considered a truant if she was to continually be absent. (Which could mean jail time, and loss of the custodial rights of her baby.)
I am not going to point any fingers as to how she got pregnant, and I wish you the best of luck.
I am a college student that regulary [atleast four days a week] takes care of a dear friend's baby, and that is hard for me, I cannot imagine what it would be like to raise a child at 11.
Either way, it sounds like you are being supportive on her decision.
I would like to ask, have you contacted the guardians/parents of the boy that got her pregnant? Although that will be a tough move, they might offer you comfort and ideas.
Just make sure that she can physically deliver.
Many young girls when put in a stressful situation can actually try to abort their babies themselves, which can lead to awful infections and serious health problems for them and the unborn.
Have a long talk with your daughter and explain to her the effects of such a responsibility.
And as for being a Grandmother at a young age, many peers and strangers may in fact, believe you are the mother, and as long as they do not know the situation, may not judge you!
She's too young for a baby not to mention, just because she's had sex doesnt make her a woman. She still has more developing to do before she can carry a child! It can be dangerous.
Dont let an 11 year old persuade you. Look at where her judgement has gotten her so far. She definately does not know whats good for her let alone deciding whats good for a baby.
And if youre 28 now, you should reflect on your own experiences. This shows what can happen to the child of a 16 year old mom. The 16yr old raises a daughter who ends up pregnant at 11. What kind of child can an 11 year old raise based off that??
Striaght As dont feed a baby by the way...and it does not prove in any way her maturity- it simply says she can successfully solve long division and maybe win a spelling bee or two.
As for those who will tell you to make her take responsibility for what she's done--Dont USE a BABY to prove a point. Dont USE a BABY to teach a little girl a lesson.
__________________________________________
And one more thing-so I reviewed some of your answers and youre a pregnant 14 year old doctor with an 11 yr old daughter???
First, I am very glad to hear that you don't think abortion right. However, I kind of need to ask you this, What is wrong with adoption? Your daughter can chose the parents for her baby- and make it clear that she does not want to have contact with the child- we have adopted 2 children= our son's birth mom wanted some contact- but our daughter's birth mom did not. And by the way- you yourself said, "you don't want the baby" - that is not starting off really well as a grandparent- and taking care of a baby at 11 is not a smart move either- however abortion is taking a life- so please help her make a decision to adopt. Taking care of other children since a young age, is different than parenting- that is a 24/7 job.
EDIT- the more I think about this question- ARE YOU REALLY TELLING THE TRUTH- first of all, where were you when your child was having sex? This almost sounds like you are making this whole thing up- but if you aren't PLEASE encourage your daughter to place this child- she would not be given up a child , she would be gaining a life of a not yet teenager- and one other thing- PLEASE teach her to sex at her age, is ridiculous, even with birth control
Okay for one if she was not raped I am sick to my stomach to find out that a mother would let her daughter with a boy long enough to get in this situation. It's not something that is easy to do with a responsible mother around rather that seemed offensive or not. Another thing. It's not your decision if she can keep her child or not. It's hers deal with it. Babysitting doesn't make you a good mother in the future. It's nothing compared to what she is going to experience as being a mother. I don't think you should suggest an abortion though and people answering to this make me sick who are doing it. Abortion isn't a answer it's a cowardly way out of situations that they got into, my choice or not it's thier respinsibility and they need to stand up to it. If there are risks of having a vaginal birth at her age perhaps c-section. If I was eleven and got pregnant I would be begging my mom to let me keep my own baby too. How do you think she will feel giving her child up or having it killed. It's going to scar her for life probably especialy at her age.
Wow at 11? oh boy mom, you've got your hands full there. She can't be a mother at that age - she can't because she won't know how to be a role model etc. The best she can do is help you feed and change the baby after school. This is going to be YOUR baby more than hers.
Also there is the concideration that at her age her body is very underdeveloped for carrying a pregnancy and the physical risks themselves are something you should discuss in detail with a doctor - no one on here is qualified to discuss her specific risks. If it is going to be a risk to her own life, perhaps she should not go through with it - but that's a decision you will have to make.
I feel for you. She may be begging for this like a child begs for a puppy you know? She doesn't have any idea what it really entails and for her to just expect you to take care of it for her is not showing her responsibility. Good luck whatever you decide.
OK i don't get it in one of your answer you said you were 14 and pregnant stop making things up 14 year old pregnant doctor with 11 year old pergnat kid you work fast
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Well If it helps I'm 14 too and I'm 3 months pregnant you could read the Dave Pelzer books two not anything close two it but very inspiring they teach you how to grow up a little about love and passion.....Good Luck and Congrats
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Sorry to break it to you but your girl has gotta be cheating
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Your daughter is probably going to hate my advice, but I think she should get an abortion or put it up for adoption. Inept parents (as an 11 year old probably would be, no offense) generally have a much higher chance of leading to some messed up kids, which is not good to say the least. However, if you are willing, you and/or a close relative or friend could help her take care of her baby which might not lead to a messed up kid, but this would require a lot of time and effort on your part. This is probably the only rationally logical way for her to keep her baby without ruining her or her baby's life. She must NOT drop out of school. Check "teen pregnancy" or something like that on Google for some additional advice from more qualified experts.
All i have to say is wow..... 11yrs old and pregnant.... thats a difficult situation no matter how you look at it. i do not believe in abortion for the most part, and i believe that everyone is responsible for thier actions......... however, a 11yr old is by no means capable of raising a child, she is in what like 6th grade? what kind of life will her and that child have ahead of them....... I also have to say..... why in the world was this child having sex??????? that is ridiculous...... somewhere things went very wrong, and im sorry but to be honest it went wrong on your part as a parent, but im sure you realize that and have heard it plenty. I believe you have two choices here...... or actually your daughter has two choices because unfortunately a baby is having to make a decision on whether to have a baby....... 1. adoption...... its a wonderful option because that child will be placed w/ a family that cannot have a child, and want one so bad they are financially stable and ready to give love to a child, and you do not know that the child will spend thier life looking for his/her birth mother, i know plenty of people that are adopted that are not in the great search for thier parents........ the other option is 2. she has this child...... you play a major major role in raising this child until your child has graduated or atleast close to graduating and gets her education so that she can be a parent. but...... really.....by the time your daughter graduates the baby will be 7,,,,,,, might be pretty confusing. You may want to consider speaking w/ a counselor, and looking into the options. goodluck!
she is very young to have a baby and there is a good chance that her body cant support a baby before you two decide on something i would go to the doctor. If the doctor says she can do it you should some how get her to watch someones baby by herself for a day and see if she really wants a baby after that. Many young parents dont figure out how hard taking care of a baby is. In the end if she keeps it you should know that your going to have to help her alot.
Thats tuff, if you think back to when you were 11 , do you remember much? you are to young at that age to really know what you want. im 20, and expecting my first, although iam very young 11 is way to young. i would give you my best advice by really talking to her and possibly think about you rasing the child. she hasnt even gone through that "teen" stage so maybe this may just be a fairy tale for her. its your daughter you know her best. but if shes old enough to be having sex, and dealing with that maybe she is mature then what most 11 year olds are. Good Luck! keep us updated
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