10 quotes from the book “Emotional Intelligence”

1. In a very real sense we have two minds, one that thinks and one that feels.

2. Anyone can become angry —that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way —this is not easy. ARISTOTLE, The Nicomachean Ethics

3. A belligerent samurai, an old Japanese tale goes, once challenged a Zen master to explain the concept of heaven and hell. The monk replied with scorn, "You're nothing but a lout - I can't waste my time with the likes of you!"

His very honor attacked, the samurai flew into a rage and, pulling his sword from its scabbard, yelled "I could kill you for your impertinence."

"That," the monk calmly replied, "is hell."

Startled at seeing the truth in what the master pointed out about the fury that had him in its grip, the samurai calmed down, sheathed his sword, and bowed, thanking the monk for the insight.

"And that,"said the monk "is heaven."

The sudden awakening of the samurai to his own agitated state illustrates the crucial difference between being caught up in a feeling and becoming aware that you are being swept away by it. Socrates's injunction "Know thyself" speaks to the keystone of emotional intelligence: awareness of one's own feelings as they occur.

4. People's emotions are rarely put into words, far more often they are expressed through other cues. 

the key to intuiting another's feelings is in the ability to read nonverbal channels, tone of voice, gesture, facial expression and the like.

5. Emotional self-control — delaying gratification and stifling impulsiveness underlies accomplishment of every sort.

6. Leadership is not domination, but the art of persuading people to work toward a common goal.

7. There is perhaps no psychological skill more fundamental than resisting impulse.

8. Life is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel. HORACE WALPOLE

9. Emotional self-awareness is the building block of the next fundamental emotional intelligence: being able to shake off a bad mood.

10. Our emotional mind will harness the rational mind to its purposes, for our feelings and reactions-rationalizations — justifying them in terms of the present moment, without realizing the influence of our emotional memory.

“Emotional Intelligence” provides an insight into the role emotions play in our ability to succeed, and highlights the value of understanding emotional intelligence.

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