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In our digitized world, it’s not a question of if kids will access porn, but when. It’s a sad fact, but parents can be ready for when it happens. This end of post is by our friends at Bark, who have amazing tech solutions for monitoring devices while building trust—read on for more info.
Many people contact Fight the New Drug to share their personal stories about how porn has affected their life or the life of a loved one. We consider these personal accounts very valuable because, while the science and research is powerful within its own right, personal accounts from real people seem to really hit home about the damage that pornography does to real lives.
My son came forward on his own about 6 weeks ago pleading…begging…to “make it stop Daddy!”
His “friend” introduced him to porn videos and even knew when to “shut it off” before his Mom made her way down the hall to “check on them.”
We find ourselves lucky and even grateful because he came to us…we didn’t have to catch him. Truth is he showed ZERO signs that anything was off, so had he not come forward, I don’t think we would have ever known! He hid his pain well. That said… your little angel you think isn’t struggling probably is, or has some heavy thoughts, images, and emotions they don’t quite know how to process.
Now, that’s not always the case for most kids, so if you catch your kid in the act, pull him/her aside lovingly. They’re in enough pain—believe it or not—already, and it’s killing them inside despite what you might think. As enticing as porn is, they want out. They don’t know how to break the barriers of shame, guilt, and embarrassment. It’s too much for their minds to handle between the ages of 5 and 17 years old, in my opinion. My son is 10 years old, and his battle is fierce.
Since then, our relationship as father and son has blossomed into something more beautiful than anything I could have ever imagined. In our first big talk, I explained to him that when an alcoholic seeks help to stop alcoholism, they find a sponsor, a life coach. I said, “Son, what if I was your sponsor. Your life coach?” He replied, “Yes Daddy, I want you as my sponsor.”
For the last 6 weeks or more, we have been “cleaning out the closet” every morning or evening for about an hour. We talk about anything he wants. It mostly boils down to understanding just how normal he actually is for the thoughts, images, and feelings that have been provoked due to the introduction of porn and understanding where to draw the line and where there is personal accountability.
We talk about anything and everything you can imagine now in a way that builds confidence again, self-respect, self-awareness, self-care, and self-love.
Our talks will continue daily and it’s no longer awkward to talk about sex. It’s just a normal conversation between father and son. He knows that because porn opened his eyes to a world he wishes didn’t exist, he knows it’s his battle for the rest of his life—to choose in or out—and he’s accepted that challenge.
His healing process has been amazing. Heartbreaking, but amazing.
Whether we like it or not, children today will be exposed to pornography. It’s not a matter of if, but when. Preparing yourself now instead of waiting until it happens will help you get ahead of the situation.
One resource that can help? Introducing Bark, advanced monitoring software that helps parents understand what their children are talking about online with their friends and posting across social media. After all, as a busy parent, reading every text message, post, and email just isn’t realistic.
Bark was created by parents, for parents to offer a better, easier, and more effective way to keep children safe online. With it, you receive alerts when potentially harmful or dangerous issues arise and links to resources to help you naturally bring up conversations in response.
Created in collaboration with child psychologists, youth advisors, digital media experts, and law enforcement professionals, Bark delivers a research-backed, kid-friendly solution for safeguarding families as technology changes how and where we communicate. Over 3,000,000 homes and schools are using it now.
We’ve partnered with FTND to offer a free, one month trial for interested parents. Check it out, and keep your family safe, today.
Matt McKee is Vice President of Strategic Partnerships at Bark, and the author of Parent Chat: The Technology Talk for Every Family. He’s passionate about helping families navigate the world of technology, and enabling kids to thrive throughout a digital adolescence.
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©Fight the New Drug, Inc. 2021, All rights Reserved. Fight the New Drug, Inc. is a US 501(c)(3) public charity, EIN 26-3550143.
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Small children typically view pornography accidentally at home by clicking a link or mistyping a Google search. Most parents would be shocked on how pornography is just 2 clicks away on some of the most popular sites and apps your child may be visiting.








Most statistics on pornography use say the average age of a child's first exposure to pornography is 11 years old. New research from the security technology company Bitdefender, has reported children under the age of 10 now account for 22% of online porn consumption under 18 -years old. Particularly alarming is that the site most visited by children under 10 include porn mega sites like Pornhub. The under 10 age group is now accounting for one in 10 visitors to porn video sites, per Bitdefender.


NPCC ChildLine recently released a report that found a tenth of 12 to 13-year-olds fear they may actually be addicted to pornography. 10% of children in the 7th grade have stated that they are watching enough porn to be concerned that they may have an addiction issue and not be able to stop. Many experts believe this is due to two primary issues: mobile accessibility and desensitization at an earlier age. “Young people are turning to the internet to learn about sex and relationships. We know they are frequently stumbling across porn, often unintentionally, and they are telling us very clearly that this is having a damaging and upsetting effect on them” said Dame Esther Rantzen, founder of ChildLine.


If you have discovered that you child has seen pornography, it is normal to feel alarmed and protective. Prolonged exposure to pornography can have long-term damaging effects on your child. While there is nothing that can be done to help your child “unsee” what they have “seen”, the best course of action may be address their online viewing choices in an age-appropriate conversation being careful not to over react or choose language that may cause shame or guilt. For suggestions on how to have and start an age appropriate conversation on exposure to pornography click here.


By educating kids on what a good relationship should be like, and installing parental control software, parents are taking control of this situation. And even if their children view inappropriate content on a friend’s device, they will be better prepared to handle accidentally seeing pornography without it having a strong effect.
Kristin MacLaughlin, VP Consumer Marketing for Content Watch, mother of three and always in search of ways that technology can help simplify and connect families.
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