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Typical Teenage Behaviors and Attitudes

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Amy Morin, LCSW, is the Editor-in-Chief of Verywell Mind. She's also a psychotherapist, international bestselling author and host of the The Verywell Mind Podcast.
Ann-Louise T. Lockhart, PsyD, ABPP, is a board-certified pediatric psychologist, parent coach, author, speaker, and owner of A New Day Pediatric Psychology, PLLC.

There's a drastic change between how teens behave at 13 years old compared to 18 years old . Yet it happens so gradually that you might not even recognize your teen transforming into an adult right in front of your eyes.

It's important to know what to expect from your teen during each year of adolescence. While all teens grow and develop at different rates, it's important to know what your teen may be experiencing along the path toward adulthood.

Cultura / Frank and Helena / Getty Images

Thirteen-year-old teens are finishing up one phase of life, leaving childhood behind, and entering another one, becoming a teen. So expect to see your teen seeking more independence as they try to become more grown-up at a rate faster than they can handle. 1 They may rebel against bedtime rules and you'll need to let them make their own food choices. They may have a lot of stress and need relaxing activities.

Fourteen often marks the beginning of high school. And for many teens, that is an exciting yet frightening time. It's important to give your 14-year-old plenty of guidance to prevent them from straying down the wrong path. 2

There will be many choices for after-school activities to challenge their mind and body. With new school routines, you'll have to help your teen develop good meal habits and maintain good sleep habits. 3

Your 15-year-old teen will want to make their own decisions. And often, there are many decisions to be made at this age. Everything from dating to chores often becomes an issue during this phase of adolescence.

Fifteen is a time when some teens really start to flourish. And for those who lag behind, their immaturity becomes especially apparent. 4 It's important to base your rules and consequences on how much responsibility your 15-year-old shows they can handle.

By now, you only have two more years until your child legally becomes an adult. It's a prime opportunity to examine the skill deficits your teen may have so you can ensure they are prepared for the real world. 5

Many 16-year-old teens land their first jobs , get their driver's licenses, and start experimenting more with bigger responsibilities. It's a great time to let your teen fail once in a while, just to show them that they can bounce back. But provide plenty of guidance as they accept new responsibilities.

By age 17, your role should be more of a guide, rather than a disciplinarian. Your teen may still need consequences at times, however, and it's important to use this year to really make sure that your teen's mistakes become learning opportunities before they enter into the real world. 6

If your 17-year-old has always been in organized sports, it's a good time for them to think about what they'll do for recreation once they graduate from school sports.

Eighteen-year-old teens are starting a very exciting time in their lives, a time of more freedom and much more responsibility. If your teen is still in high school, it's important to continue monitoring their activities.

Remind them that as long as they live in your house, they need to follow your rules, even if they are 18. 7 But hopefully, by this age, you can rest a little easier knowing that you've done all you can to equip your teen for life after high school.

Mccallister CJ, Akers AY, Worlds AD, Morrison PK. Messages About contraception and condoms in mother-adolescent dyadic conversations: Knowledge, risks, and effectiveness. J Pediatr Adolesc Gynecol. 2019;32(4):395-401. doi:10.1016/j.jpag.2019.02.117
Michaeli Y, Kalfon Hakhmigari M, Scharf M, Shulman S. Romantic outcomes in young adulthood: The role of dependency, parental support, and reflective functioning . J Fam Psychol. 2018;32(7):873-881. doi:10.1037/fam0000441
Rosenbaum J, Zenilman J, Rose E, Wingood G, DiClemente R. Do jobs work? Risk and protective behaviors associated with employment among disadvantaged female teens in urban Atlanta. J Women Polit Policy . 2014;35(2):155-173. doi:10.1080/1554477X.2014.890836

By Amy Morin, LCSW

Amy Morin, LCSW, is the Editor-in-Chief of Verywell Mind. She's also a psychotherapist, an international bestselling author of books on mental strength and host of The Verywell Mind Podcast. She delivered one of the most popular TEDx talks of all time.

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NEW eBook: Reduce Screen Time and Increase Family Fun, Fitness and Connectedness
Children go through distinct periods of development as they grow from infants to young adults. During each of these stages, multiple changes in the development of the brain are taking place. What occurs and approximately when these transitions transpire are genetically determined. However, environmental circumstances and exchanges with key individuals within their environment significantly influence how each child benefits from each developmental event.
“Ages and Stages” is a term used to outline significant periods in the human development timeline. Growth and maturation occur in the primary developmental domains during each stage, including physical, intellectual, language, and social-emotional. Our goal is to help parents understand what is happening in their child’s brain and body during each period. We hope that parents will be able to provide the necessary support, encouragement, structure, and interventions to enable their child to progress through each phase as smoothly and successfully as possible based on their child’s unique set of traits and interests.
Raising a baby, especially for the first time, is exciting and challenging; this is a time for developing bonds with your child that will last a lifetime, providing them with the inner resources to build self-esteem and relate positively to others. It’s also the time for parents to discover who this new person is in their lives. Each child is unique, and parents need to learn to understand, respect, support and encourage their unique characteristics and abilities.
When a child takes their first steps on their own, a new phase in development begins. At this stage, children are now free to roam around their world. It’s a time for active exploration of their environment. Language development grows significantly, which leads to learning the names of objects of interest and the ability to ask for things. As they discover their independent nature, yes, they will also develop the ability to say, “No!”
A major challenge is forming during this stage: what psychologists call “emotional regulation,” where “meltdowns” are common. Still, parents can use the bond developed during infancy to help their children learn to modulate their emotional expression and begin to grasp the concept of delay of gratification. While they instinctively seem to be able to say “No,” toddlers also need help learning how to accept “No” from others.
This period is also a stage of rapid physical and intellectual development. Children are starting school, which includes interacting cooperatively with peers while at the same time being able to compete physically and intellectually. Parents can be a coach to their children, providing just the right combination of encouragement, support, and guidance. Parents can also serve as their primary teachers for the mastery of fundamental learning while encouraging active discussion and experimentation with new concepts and skills.
Preschoolers are emerging from toddlerhood to a new exploration and formal learning world. Most have started or will start preschool or prekindergarten and complete this developmental period by entering traditional school in either kindergarten or first grade. Because kindergarten has become more academic and often mirrors what used to be first grade, children usually start kindergarten around the age of six.
Children in this age group are open to learning numbers, letters, beginning reading, and simple math; this is also a critical period for learning music. Kids are improving their gross motor and fine motor skills, which gets them interested in art, crafts, and ride-on toys (wagons, scooters, bikes, etc.). They’re also developing early sports skills, which often leads to participation in organized sports by the end of this phase.
The most important mode of learning for children during this period is playing. Make-believe play of all kinds is attractive and fosters the development of language, socialization, and creativity. Interest in exploring their environment promotes early interest in science. Kids also like to build things out of items around the house and use sets such as Legos, Kinex, blocks, and others.
Raising school-age children can be an exciting experience. Watching kids try new activities, cheering them on at athletic events, and applauding their accomplishments at recitals are usually some of the high points for most parents. However, success often precedes frustration and sometimes involves learning to accept one’s weaknesses while celebrating and building on strengths. Well-equipped parents can be excellent coaches for their children no matter the endeavor.
While toddlers and preschoolers need constant supervision, school-age children become gradually ready for more independence. However, learning to make good choices and exercising self-discipline is not easy for many. Parents need to impart a moral code that their child gradually internalizes. As children struggle with these essential tasks, parents must be able to provide praise and encouragement. Still, they must also allow their kids sometimes to experience the natural consequences of their behavior or provide logical consequences to help them learn from mistakes.
There is no doubt that the teen years present a challenge for parents and children in most families.
Middle School is not fondly remembered by most who attend. It’s often fraught with scary body changes, bullying by peers, and a new surge for independence. This leads to passive-aggressive behavior (“I’ll do it in a minute.”), self-consciousness (“What are you staring at?”), self-doubt (“I’m not good at anything.”), and/or over-confidence (“Well, I thought I could do that.”), and moodiness (“Leave me alone.”).
High School is usually better for most. It’s a time to begin defining oneself and realistically contemplate the future. Skill development is accelerated to prepare for college or job training programs, and talents are perfected. Social skills become more refined, and relationships become more serious. Peer pressure is at its max, and in today’s teen society, there are more tempting sidetracks than before.
During adolescence, kids need their parents more than ever. Research shows that teens can navigate these years with relative ease in a positive family environment, including fun family activities, open parent-child communication, and encouragement to participate in positive extracurricular activities.
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The information on this website is solely for informational purposes. IT IS NOT INTENDED TO PROVIDE MEDICAL ADVICE. Neither Parenting Today, LLC nor Dr. Myers nor any of the editors, columnists or authors take responsibility for any possible consequences from any action taken which results from reading or following the information contained in this information. The publication of this information does not constitute the practice of medicine or psychology, and this information does not replace the advice of your physician or mental health care provider. Before undertaking any course of treatment, the reader must seek the advice of their physician or other healthcare provider.
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Teen 2.0: Saving Our Children and Families from the Torment of Adolescence Paperback – Illustrated, February 24, 2010
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National Indie Excellence Awards, first prize in the Parenting and Family category Arguing that adolescence is an unnecessary period of life that people are better off without, this groundbreaking study shows that teen confusion and hardships are caused by outmoded systems that were designed to destroy the continuum between childhood and adulthood. Documenting how teens are isolated from adults and are forced to look to their media-dominated peers for knowledge, this discussion contends that by infantilizing young people, society does irrevocable harm to their development and well-being. Instead, parents, teachers, employers, and others must rediscover the adults in young people by giving them authority and responsibility as soon as they exhibit readiness. Teens are highly capable--in some ways more than adults--and this landmark discussion offers paths for reaching and enhancing the competence in America's youth.
""I heartily believe in the validity of what he is saying. Furthermore, I believe what he is saying to have vast consequences for our society. All of America should take note."" --M. Scott Peck, MD, author, "" The Road Less Traveled""

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Quill Driver Books; Illustrated edition (February 24, 2010) Language
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English Paperback
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535 pages ISBN-10
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1884995594 ISBN-13
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978-1884995590 Item Weight
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1.8 pounds Dimensions
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6.1 x 1.42 x 8.98 inches

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