Welcome back to our series Rembert Explains the ’80s. Every so often, we’ll e-mail 25-year-old Rembert Browne a video from the 1980s that he hasn’t seen. Rembert will write down his thoughts as he’s watching it, then we’ll post those thoughts here. This week’s installment was selected by Grantland reader Scott Sparrow: “Land of Confusion,” by Genesis. Apparently this video is “topical,” which means it’s either about politics or Sesame Street.Just two human puppets and a gorilla puppet sitting in bed. 0:10 I love Genesis and I love Phil Collins. I just need everyone to know that. 0:14 Wait, is that Reagan? Is this Ronald, Nancy, and a gorilla? 0:22 AHHH GET OUT OF MY FACE 0:34 Just to be clear, I still love Genesis, I still love Phil Collins, and yes, I really enjoy “Land of Confusion,” but a five-minute puppet video is very much my nightmare. 0:44 I don’t know where this bog is that these puppet people have found themselves in, but it’s not sexy.
Also, if that was Reagan, this is going to get weirdly political, which I’m not ready for. There’s no place in our culture for actual political puppets. THERE ARE ENOUGH HUMAN ONES OUT THERE ALREADY HOLY ZING, SERVED, BOOM. 0:46 And the nightmare gets even scarier: Phil Collins meets Chucky. Why did they do this? 0:54 I want my mom: What are those glasses? Whatever cause Phil & Co. were fighting for in this song, the puppetry couldn’t have helped. I haven’t heard one lyric, because I’m so grossed out by these three dudes. 1:12 The camera is going through this Easter Island–esque sea of puppet heads. 1:17 Puppet Reagan is drowning. 1:23 IS PUPPET REAGAN DEAD? Can you do that? Can you kill a puppet president? Is Genesis in jail for treason? 1:48 Ha, is that the Ayatollah? Puppet Ayatollah is scary. Can’t even begin to imagine how terrifying the real guy was. 1:51 And just like that, Reagan is in a Superman costume. I have a feeling, however, that GENESIS DOESN’T THINK HE USES HIS POWERS FOR GOOD.
2:08 This is like “We Are the World” for dictators. 2:29 Phil Collins is the ugliest puppet ever. Did he co-sign this? Is he cool with being the lowest-rated puppet in the Puppet Fantasy Attractiveness League? Part of me thinks I’m failing World History by not being able to recognize anyone, but this might also be the fault of the puppet masters for making everyone look like bulldogs. 2:53 Thizz Face Mr. Spock. Why is Phil Collins beefing with Leonard Nimoy? I want all the gossip. 3:01 I should probably note that I still haven’t internalized a single lyric of this song. For all I know, this is “We Didn’t Start the Fire,” but instead of the Cola Wars, it’s Reagan and Thizz Face Leonard Nimoy. 3:05 There’s a triceratops that has been a major player in this video. Couldn’t even begin to speculate why. 3:37 Just as an update: The Reagans are partying in the rain forest with Godzilla, who happens to be wearing a bow tie. Oh, NOW I GET THIS VIDEO.
3:38 I’ll never get over this: Whatever Reagan did to Phil Collins, I really wish he hadn’t done it. 3:39 (I have no idea what that point is.) This is either Prince or Morris Day, putting hot dog condiments on his own tongue while Phil makes phone calls. I’m about over this video. 3:57 Prince/Morris Day just ate his own hot dog tongue. Also, did Prince/Morris Day’s bottom lip have to be that big? 4:03 Just heard my first lyric: “It’s too many people making too many problems.” While I appreciate the topical nature of this video with regard to last night’s debates and the role of government, that doesn’t make up for this insane video. Phil Collins is the world’s biggest Debbie Downer. 4:16 For two seconds, I take back everything bad I said about this video. PUPPET PHIL COLLINS AS STEVE JOBS, YES FOREVER. 4:26 I knew it. It was only a matter before we had “We [Puppets] Are the World.” So Phil Collins beefs with Quincy and Lionel too?
He’s like the 50 Cent of the ’80s. “Curtis Collins,” if you will. Also, is that Clint? His ’80s puppet face looks like his 2012 self. 4:29 Someone’s got to explain this triceratops to me. I understand donkeys and elephants, but am stumped on where heavily armored dinosaurs fit in. 4:31 Oh, now Phil’s in on the “We Are the World” party, with Madonna. I think she looks great. 4:39 I’m sure this is rude. Did Genesis have any friends after this video? I feel like they got crossed off a lot of Christmas party lists soon after the release of this video. 4:45 And just like that, the Pope is playing the guitar. They really couldn’t leave anyone out, could they? 4:55 How is this video going to end? Is Phil Collins going to duel with Reagan? Is the Pope going to smash his guitar on Bill Cosby? Is this a documentary? 5:04 I feel cheated. The past five minutes were all Reagan’s dream. Now I know how you Dallas fans felt after Season 9.
5:13 WHO HAS THIS BUTTON IN THEIR HOUSE? Please hit nurse, please hit nurse, please hit nur— 5:21 Reagan: “That’s one heck of a nurse.” Wait, has this entire beef toward Reagan been about his eyesight? I thought they were trying to portray him as a bad guy, but I’m left assuming they don’t think he’s fit to be president because he simply can’t see well. This seems like an extravagant production just to make a point against one’s eyesight. Would you like to tell us about a lower price?If you are a seller for this product, would you like to suggest updates through seller support? ScrubzLet's get those teeth sparkling clean! Scrubs are a great way to interact with your dog! With a strong handle so you can play “tug” or “fetch”. The fun crackle sound will keep your dog entertained while cleaning their teeth. Check out our Facebook page today. Follow us for all the latest on our products, competitions and promotional giveaways. (10857 )507Sign up for newsletterin titles & descriptionLewandowski Equipment Co., Inc. is a family owned and operated business.
For over 40 years, we have successfully served the arborists, contr...read moreLewandowski Equipment Co., Inc. is a family owned and operated business. For over 40 years, we have successfully served the arborists, contractors, in the southwestern part of Pennsylvania. Our business is proud to be a community based business and we offer a wide variety of parts and equipment. We are constantly expanding our equipment and parts inventory. Thank you for your business.Sign up for newsletterFeatured Items5 AMBER LED MARKER STROBE LIGHTS - 1999 - 2013 FORD F-250 - F-750 - 13 PATTERNSBANDIT WOOD CHIPPER FORWARD / REVERSE VALVE DETENT W/ CAP P/N- 900-3900-71EBANDIT WOOD CHIPPER FORWARD / REVERSE VALVE BRACKET MOUNTS TO LEVER 900-3905-95BUYERS PRODUCTS SL65CO CLEAR WARNING LED STROBE LIGHT - 24 LED - 203 FLASHES/MINCategoriesAIR CLEANERSArborist SuppliesASPLUNDH CHIPPER PARTSASV PARTSAttachmentsBandit Chipper PartsBOBCAT PARTSBrush Chipper BladesBUCKET - EXCAVATOR/SKID STEERBUCKET TEETHBUYERS / SALTDOGG SPREADERSCATERPILLAR PARTSCHIPPER KNIVESCLUTCH PARTS - ROCKFORD -TWINCUMMINS PARTSExcavatorsGeneratorsHARD HATSHITCH / TRAILER PARTSJOHN DEERE PARTSKOHLER ENGINE PARTSKUBOTA ENGINES /
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