Frank Sinatra might be the coolest man who ever lived. First, there’s the look. It’s a scientific fact that any hat dropped on Sinatra’s head would automatically cock itself slightly to one side. A quick Google image search bears this out. Add to this a dapper suit and a glass of whisky, and you have a look as smooth as his voice. (Note: I’m very annoyed at whoever was in charge of the photoshoot for the “Nice ‘n’ Easy” album cover. No suit, no hat, no martini, cheap wicker chair, bizarre semi-reclined pose…what kind of terrible photographer is capable of making such a naturally cool guy look so awkward?) Next, there’s the fact that the ladies loved him, even though- let’s face it -he wasn’t the world’s best-looking guy. Blue eyes aside, he was a bit goofy looking. He had acne scars left over from his teenage years, and a scar on his chin as a result of a forceps birth during which he was presumed dead and left on the kitchen counter while the doctor tended to his mother.
But despite all his physical imperfections, his lack of height, his unimpressive physique, he was one of the first singers to incite screams of delirium from his female fans. Finally, he was socially conscious. Even though he was often said to have had links to organized crime, he was actually a pretty forward-thinking guy. At the peak of his stardom during some racially tense years, he refused to play at “white-only” venues, and once brought Lena Horne into an all-white club. He even showed up at a newly integrated school to diffuse racial tension, leading the students in a pledge of tolerance. I should mention that his criminal record wasn’t entirely spotless. He was only arrested once, way back when he was 23. The charge was…wait for it…seduction. This is probably my favourite Sinatra song. I like it partly because it was a last-minute substitution on the album, and yet ended up being the title track, which gives it a bit of a successful underdog feel. But mostly I like it because it’s just so effortlessly cool.
What makes this a beautiful song: 2. The strings, hiding way in the background. 3. In the last verse, he starts snapping his fingers. Although I have no way of knowing, I’d bet he didn’t even realize he was doing it. When you’re as cool as Sinatra, snapping your fingers is as natural as breathing, I guess.Yankee Doodle went to town, a-riding on a pony; Stuck a feather in his cap and called it macaroni Yankee Doodle keep it up, Yankee Doodle dandy Mind the music and the step and with the girls be handy Father and I went down to camp along with Captain Gooding And there we saw the men and boys, as thick as hasty pudding There was Colonel Washington, upon a strapping stallion A-giving orders to his men, I guess there was a million And there I saw a cannon barrel as big as mother's basin And every time they touched it off they scampered like the nation I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy A Yankee Doodle, do or die A real live nephew of my uncle Sam's
Born on the fourth of July I've got a Yankee Doodle sweetheart She's my Yankee Doodle joy Yankee Doodle came to London Just to ride the ponies I am a Yankee Doodle boy The other night, dear, As I lay sleeping I dreamt I held you in my arms When I awoke, dear, I was mistaken And hung my head and cryed You are my sunshine, my only sunshine You make me happy, when skies are gray You'll never know dear, how much I love you Please don't take my sunshine away I'll always love you and make you happy If you will only love me too But if you leave me to love another You'll regret it all some day You can dig my grave with a silver spade 'Cause I ain't gonna be here much longer There's a long white robe up in heaven for me There's a starry crown up in heaven for me There's a pair of wings up in heaven for me There's a golden harp up in heaven for me You just pluck one string and the whole heavens ring
Oh the Deacon went down To the cellar to pray The lights went out And he stayed all day All:Oh the Deacon went down to the cellar to pray The lights went out and he stayed all day I aint gonna grieve my lord no more, no more I aint gonna grieve my lord I aint gonna grieve my lord no more You'll never go to heaven in an old Ford car 'Cos an old Ford car won't get that far You'll never go to heaven in a ping pong ball 'Cos a ping pong ball is much too small You'll never go to heaven in a limousine 'Cos the lord aint go no gasoline You'll never go to heaven in a Sabre Jet 'Cos the lord aint go no runways yet You'll never go to heaven in a Girl Guides arms 'Cos the lord don't want those faminine charms You'll never go to heaven in a rocking chair 'Cos the lord don't want no rockers there You'll never go to heaven in a wicker chair 'Cos the lord dont want no baskets there You'll never go to heaven in a biscuit tin
'Cos a biscuit tin's got biscuits in You'll never go to heaven in a apple tree 'Cos an apple trees got roots you see You'll never get to heaven on roller skates You'd slip right by them Pearly Gates You'll never get to heaven in your girlfriend's bra 'Cos your girlfriends bra don't stretch that far You'll never get to heaven on a plate of glass 'Cos a plate of glass gonna cut your leg You'll never get to heaven in a limousine 'Cos the Lord don't sell no gasoline You'll never get to heaven on Richard's bike 'Cos you'll get halfway, then you'll have to hike You'll never get to heaven in Mike's car 'Cos Mike's car stops at every bar You'll never get to heaven with a bottle of gin 'Cos St Peter don't let them spirits in You'll never get to heaven in Ivor's pants 'Cos Ivor's pants are full of ants You'll never get to heaven, on water skis 'Cos the angels don't like hairy knees Oh you can't get to heaven with powder and paint
'Cos it makes you look like what you ain't Oh you can't get to heaven in a strapless gown ''Cos a strapless gown thing might fall right down Oh you can't chew terbaccy on the golden shore 'Cos the Lord don't have no cuspidor Oh I want to go to heaven, and I want to do it right So I'll go up to heaven all dressed in white Oh one fine day, and it won't be long You'll look for me, and I'll be gone And if you get to heaven before I do Just drill a hole and pull me through But if I get to heaven before you do I'll drill a hole and spit on you Well if I get to heaven, before you do I'll plug that hole, with shavings and glue That's all there is, there is no more St Peter said, as he shut the door Oh there's one more thing I forgot to tell If you don't go to heaven, you'll go to...bed And that's the end, St. Peter said As he closed the gates, And went to bed I ain't gonna grieve (i-eve-i-eve) my Lord no more