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I don't know where to start. I really don't know the purpose of this note but I'll just let it flow.

A lot has happened since our first real conversation last June. That night when we first opened up with one another was something special. We instantly connected, I do believe. You told me something about our walls shielding us from anyone causing us pain. I admired how you instantly made me feel comfortable talking about things bottled up inside me.

From then on, we became really good friends. We became so close that our conversations become a daily routine; talking until the wee hours of the morning. It didn't take long that my admiration for you develop feelings that I never expected. I was so emotionally unavailable but lo and behold, I felt strong emotions for you. 

And the day came when I realized that I do have feelings for you. When I realized that I really do like you. When something's real, it hurts. You do know the reason why I was hurting. And to be honest with you, the images of you and him sleeping beside each other every week are still vivid in my mind, that's why I'm still bothered by it. Especially the one where you were under a blanket and your body was shaped like you were hugging each other, triggered everything. I felt like I died inside. No exaggeration or anything. That was the tipping point and it was why I had to tell my feelings for you. 

I decided to try and suppress my feelings for you. Fast forward a few weeks later and on a Tuesday, we decided to go to Katipunan. After a fun night out with our friends, you decided to stay behind in the office. And there it was, you were sleeping beside him, again. I died, again. Tears were rolling down my cheeks on my way home that morning. The cab driver was probably laughing at me. I realised I failed to forget about my feelings for you. Instead, it grew even stronger.