Allied is a kind of movie that belongs in a bygone era. It’s got two big attractive stars in a World War 2 set love story with a fairly implausible plot. It’s directed by Robert Zemeckis who was terrific in the 80’s and early 90’s but seems to have lost his way in the new millennium.Allied in fact plays very much like a film from the 80s with huge and rich aesthetics, but fails to prove itself as a love-story, thriller worth watching on the big screen.Brad Pitt plays Max, a Canadian Intelligence Officer who lands in Casablanca and is teamed up with the French spy Marianne (Marion Cotillard) on a mission where they go undercover as husband and wife. They’re handed the task to eliminate a German military head honcho. Predictably, role-play turns into something more as the two fall in love as they maneuver through their mission. What happens next is the more interesting part where Max suspects Marianne may not be who he think she is and embarks on a mission of his own to uncover the truth.
The problem arises pretty early on, when the film presents a fairy tale version of Morocco. There’s zero authenticity as everything, including Max’s car and pristine streets looks squeaky clean. We’re straightaway placed in a world where nothing is authentic so expecting the audience to believe in an already outlandish plot becomes a bit of a jaunt.The whole Mr and Mrs Smith style narrative of keeping the audiences in the dark regarding the true motivations of the protagonists doesn’t really work because the film never really embraces the pulpy thrills of that movie. Instead it takes itself too seriously even though the escalation of ludicrous events continues.There’s only so much you can take from the over the top production design, the extravagant period costumes and the giant set pieces when the story by Steve Knight just refuses to rise above the cornball level. It does not help that there is absolutely no chemistry between Cotillard and Pitt whose ‘suspect’ love story is supposed to keep your attention going.
The supporting performances from big names like Lizzy Caplan as Max’s lesbian sister, Matthew Goode as an injured vet, and Jared Harris as the clichéd commanding officer pop up and disappear from the film without making any lasting impact. The best performance is in fact given by the CGI created sandstorm which, in an unintentionally hilarious manner, depicts the sexual proclivities of Max and Marianne during a love scene.It’s befuddling that Pitt does such a massive belly flop with this film considering his terrific turns in the excellent WW2 film Fury just a year ago and Inglorious Bastards before that. There are shades of Hitchcock in the film but the twists and turns are painfully predictable for anyone who has seen half a dozen thrillers. Allied is ultimately an indulgent film that neither manages to entertain those looking for cinema of grand scale nor has the smarts to stand out in a crowd of big budget potboilers.Join now for freeI’ve lived in Adelaide pretty much my whole life.
Except for those six years when I travelled around the country for my radio career. I’m not going to lie, I did love my time living on the Sunshine Coast and in Melbourne, but Adelaide is my home; it will always have my heart.Because only someone who grew up in South Australia would understand the following; 1. You’ve almost died on the Britannia Roundabout. 2. You’ve never posed for a photo with the Malls Balls. But, you have with the brass pigs outside the Myer Centre. 3. You’ve said, “How small is Adelaide!” about 20 thousand times, but you hate when someone from interstate says it. 4. You’ve driven down Victoria Avenue in Unley and picked out which house you’d live in WHEN (not IF) you win the lottery. 5. You’ve never been to Kangaroo Island, but you tell all your interstate friends how good it is. 6. When you meet someone for the first time, it takes less than a minute to ask, “So which school did you go to?” 7. You’ve driven past Peter Van the Party Man 5000 times, but never been in. (It looks great, I will go in there one day!)
8. You’ve walked over to Granite Island 100 times and every time you get there you think, “What the hell is there to do here?” So you walk back again… And get a hot cinnamon doughnut. 9. You think you discovered a secret, free parking spot in the CBD. (Lawn Bowls Club opposite Prince Alfred College). 10. You’ve driven past Virginia on your way to Gawler and made a vagina joke. Image credit : Virginia WikiYou still call The Beachouse, Magic Mountain. (b) You heard (and spread) a rumour that there was a razor blade found on one of the Magic Mountain water slides. But, nobody knows where the rumour came from. 12. You’ve climbed Lofty and lied about the time you did it in. 13. You get annoyed when interstaters call Adelaide, “Radelaide”. But, you’re allowed to. 14. When talking about Adelaide in the ‘90s, Dazzleland is the first thing you think of. 15. You’ve walked down Rundle Mall with your head down, so you don’t bump into someone you know.
16. You’ve been drunk in the back of a taxi and made the driver take you through Macca’s on West Terrace. 17. You’ve walked from Hindley Street to Rundle Street… then back again at 3am. 18. You’ve lined up at the Port Elliot Bakery. 19. You went on an excursion to Bolivar Sewage Plant and complained about how foul it was, for the next 20 years. 20. You secretly know that Peter Combe is so much cooler than The Wiggles. 21. You hate how east-coasters pronounce their “A”s as “E”s. They pronounce Ellen as Alan and Alcohol is Elcohol. 22. You went on a date to the Ice Arena and thought you were so hot when your fave song came on while you were skating. 23. In your early 20s, Moseley Square is the BEST square in Adelaide. In your 30s, it’s always Henley Square. 24. Half your family is Port and the other half is Crows. 25. When you mark a footy you say, “Modraaaa!” 26. You used to listen to Paul, Amanda and James on SAFM.
27. You don’t know the difference between Wakefield Street, Pirie Street, Grenfell Street, Flinders Street and Grote Street. 28. You love the parklands (they’re so pretty) but you wouldn’t dare walk through them. 29. You’ve sent FruChocs to your Adelaide friends living overseas. 30. When interstaters come to visit, you take them to Hahndorf and wonder why you don’t go there all the time. 31. If anywhere takes longer than 15 minutes to get there, it’s too far away. 32. Every time you go to Mt Lofty Botanic Gardens, you say, “This is so beautiful, I need to come here all the time!” But you don’t because it’s too far. 33. You think “Clipsal” is just a car race and you’ve spent most of March (for the last 16 years) complaining about the Clipsal traffic. 34. Nobody is quite sure how to pronounce Nairne. 35. When going to the movies on Rundle Street, you always get the Palace and Nova Cinemas mixed up, and go to the wrong one EVERY.