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Mom shares anxiety over teenage son's co-ed beach trip After a mother shares concern that her son will have sex during his trip to the beach, "The View" co-hosts share their thoughts on when parents should talk about the "birds and bees" with their kids.







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This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Darcy Davies Alsop. It has been edited for length and clarity.
I was annoyed when I heard that the actor Alicia Silverstone had been criticized for sharing a bed with her 11-year-old son, Bear.
It's her choice and nobody else's business. I just thought, "Her child is loved and cared for."ย 
That was my philosophy when my son, Gavin, slept in my bed until he was 14.ย 
Doctors will say "do this" and "do that," but their views may be antiquated. These so-called "rules" about co-sleeping are ridiculous.ย 
It's whatever works for your family. Isn't a healthy and well-rested kid the goal here? The same applies to the parents.
Gavin started out sleeping in the bedroom I shared with my husband, Chris. He would like inย one of those bassinets that you attach to your bed that make it easier to nurse . He graduated to a proper crib at three months' old. But he didn't like to self-soothe and we'd have to rock him to sleep.
We tried sleep training. I'd sit outside the door crying as much as the baby. I had pangs of guilt and thought, "It's horrible, and I can't do this." Then we bought this gizmo that vibrated under his crib. It took two weeks to work, but he'd get through the night without waking up.
However, around the age of two, Gavin figured out how to climb out of his crib, and that was the end of it. He'd come into our room and crawl into bed. Whenever we put him back in his crib, he'd come back out almost immediately.
Sometimes, we'd wake up in the morning, and he'd be there between us. We soon realized that sharing a bed was the only option.ย 
It began to get crowded around the time he was 5. But we didn't stop. We'd laugh about it being "musical beds." My husband would start off with us and then go into Gavin's room while I stayed with him. But when Gavin called out for his dad, Chris would get up to be with him.ย 
We all got quality sleep. We needed to sleep, and that's what we got. I'm one of those people who turns into a monster and doesn't function without it.
Our second child was born when Gavin was 9. Like him, they started out in the co-sleeping crib. When they were older โ€” but still a baby โ€” Gavin and I would sleep with them in the bed. My husband would sleep on the bottom bunk of Gavin's bed. He'd get up at 5.30 a.m. to go to work and not wake us up.
My second kid, Piper, has a different personality than Gavin. It's like the opposite end of the spectrum. They didn't have the same needs and settled into their crib in their own room before moving to a bed. Piper has never said they felt like an outsider because they didn't sleep with us.
As for sex, there'd be windows when the kids were sleeping, and we'd go into the spare room. Those stolen moments felt like an adventure together.
Some people seem to have hang-ups about partners not sleeping together. They think you need to do it to have a happy marriage. Chris and I โ€” who are 52 and 50 respectively โ€” have been married for 26 years.
Gavin stayed in our bed on and off until he went to high school at 14. He drifted into his own bedroom. It was a natural transition. It was probably a combination of puberty, his own sexuality, and wanting private time. But he's still connected and cuddly.
He's 23 now. He sleeps fine by himself but prefers to have someone by his side. I'm relaxed about girlfriends staying with him at our home in Orange County, California.
We've often joked that Gavin has a "gravitational pull" toward us. It's nice. He'll say, "I'm really glad that you guys slept with me. It's given me security."
As for Alicia Silverstone and her son, they should continue to do whatever works. I think she's a good mother.
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More stories to check out before you go
A mother woke up in the night to find her 14-year-old son raping her, a court heard.
Initially she thought it was a dream, but after realising the "enormity of the situation" she began screaming.
Her teenage son, who is on medication for ADHD, had been having behavioural problems in recent weeks, Preston Crown Cour was told.
For some years he had been in the habit of climbing into bed with his mother, but the boy - from Blackpool and now aged 15 - denied a charge of rape.
The prosecution said the woman had been asleep before waking and realising the "enormity of the situation, that her son was in the process of having sex with her".
In her police interview - which was taped and played in court, the woman said she was "trembling from the inside" after the alleged attack.
The teenager, who cannot be identified, left the courtroom while the interview was played.
Judge Pamela Badley explained to the jury he did not want to be present during the interview and that she had given him permission to leave.
Speaking of what happened, the woman told police: "I just know when I opened my eyes he was there. I don't even know what I said. He scuttled out of the room and didn't say anything.
"I just sat there holding my covers, screaming and thinking 'what the hell's just gone on?'
"Does he know what he is doing? Is he aware? Now I am actually thinking what state is he in? Does he know what he has done?"
The mother told investigators that her son had had issues for a long time.
She described her last 18 months with him as being an "absolute nightmare".
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