On the Road

Arthur hated the heat, for it seemed the sun was baking the air to make it stiff and prevent him from traveling. Everything, form the emerald carpet of grass to the dusty worn-out walls of the neighboring houses was shimmering behind the thick veil of summer hotness. Too much heat.

Merlin was inside, probably helping Hunith to stuff their supplies with the provision that would last until the end of the world. I really ought to grant Hunith a castle if I win my throne back. She's done so much. Can't blame her for not being too fond of me, right? Her son could've died so many times because of me.

Owaine and Modron were taking care of the horses, while Arthur was meant to relax, drowning in the shadow of the ash tree. He tried to keep his eyes closed as he was seeking for the calm that would make him stronger.

Think with your head, his father's words flooded his mind. This is what you have a head for. To think and not to just wear a helmet or a crown. Arthur knew that few men would believe such words could pass Uther's lips - his father, after all, seemed to rely on nothing save for passion in his stance against magic. But few people understood him the way Arthur did. And there is nobody left to understand now.

Arthur's sigh mingled with the rustle of the wind in the rich greenery of ash tree. His father hated magic, hated it with all his heart, but upon that hatred, the late king's actions were constructed in schemes of cold precision and dull calculation. Destroy everything related to magic. Reward everybody loyal to you in the fight against magic, but feel free to dispatch of them at the faintest suspicion of their betrayal. Think with your head, and don't let your heart play any part in forging your decisions. Once they learn you listen to your heart, your heart will become vulnerable.

Arthur sighed again. How can I ignore my heart with this little sneaky thing in my arms? Merlin has a gift of silencing my mind. I can't think when he's with me, I just can't. Yet in his presence I feel like I know all the truth I need. Despite the fact he'd been lying to me for such long a time. Oh, bloody hell, why do all the contradicting thing coexist peacefully in his smile?

A tower emerged, shielding him from the sunlight. Arthur opened his eyes lazily. Gwaine was standing tall, chewing some apple. At least he's sober.

"You called for me, prince Dragonslayer?" he asked.

"Stop calling me that," Arthur was slow to rise to his feet. He didn't blame himself for being too slow. The effects of the assassinations would take some time to heal, Merlin said.

"How should I call you then?"

"Somewhat less formal. Your grace would suffice," Arthur japed and invited Gwaine to walk around Hunith's garden. "I need to ask you to do something for me."

"Have you asked the right person?" Gwaine threw the apple away, trying to hit the fence, but it missed a few inches.

"You will be the one traveling with Merlin."

"Oh... That..." Gwaine's smile was too cheeky. I don't like him for Merlin's companion. He's too carefree. And drinks too much.

"What do you mean? What that?" Arthur spoke as formally as though Gwaine was a member of his father's court.

"Listen, fella... I mean, your dragonslaying grace. You and Merlin. I get it. You are in love and you wanted to warn me not to mess things up and..."

"I... I wasn't! How?!" Arthur's cheeks were red and hotter than the sun. "How do you?!"

"What? How do I know?" Gwaine's laugh made his shoulders rise and fall. "How can't I know? How can anybody be blind enough to not see it?"

Arthur swallowed nervously. He didn't mean it to be discovered so abruptly and suddenly. He wanted to tell them all in due time. Will my plans ever work?

"I...we...It has nothing to do with our..."

"Listen, fella, if you wanted to speak privily, you better say your say quicker. They are about to finish packing up and..."

"Gwaine, keep your eye on him, please. You are responsible for his safety. Don't let any harm come to Merlin and I promise, my reward will be generous. Just... Please, try to keep him safe when it's possible. He has a... you know... He looks thin and lean and somewhat a little weak, but it's deceitful... Beneath this outward impression, he has the bravest heart, and like all brave hearts, he can be tempted by great follies. Please, will you?"

"You've completely lost your mind because of him, haven't ya?" Gwaine smiled and petted Arthur on the back.

Merlin stormed out of the house a little later, accompanied by Hunith. Modron and Owaine were waiting for them on the road. Arthur's intense gaze followed Merln's every move. People had often called his servant clumsy, but now that Merlin was his, Arthur came to recognize some natural grace about the way Merlin would move, some agility, some beauty that was destined solely for Arthur to behold.

"What?" Merlin asked with a frown as he approached Arthur. "What are you staring at?"

Gwaine snorted.

Arthur spent half his strengths to prevent his finger from touching Merlin's lips. His eyelashes. Boys rarely have their eyelashes so long and so beautiful.

The moment to part caught him unawares, even though they'd spent a great deal of time preparing for departure. Now that they were standing on the dusty village road, Artur felt that reconquering his kingdom was half as hard as letting go of Merlin. He was afraid of letting their eyes meet.

"Don't you dare," Arthur said when he spotted tears in Merlin's eyes. He put his hand on Merlin's shoulder, feeling that he was about to explode from the desire to grab Merlin and make Merlin's lips weak from desire and obedient, and Merlin's mouth - welcome for his tongue. "You’ve promised not to cry. And I’ve told you once, and I repeat: no man is worse your…”

"You are worth every teardrop," Merlin’s voice was but a struggle of tears.

Arthur smiled weakly, remembering the day when Merlin was putting on an armor to fight a dragon with him. I know it's hard for you to understand how I feel, but...well, I care a hell of a lot about that armour, I'm not going to let you mess it up, Merlin said by the door. Arthur's smile grew wider. He's always been funny. And silly. But back then... I realized he meant it. When he said it was hard for me to understand how he felt. I understood everything.

“Owaine, Modron,” Merlin said in a tone where command and plea were mixed. “You’ve sworn to protect him. See that he gets to the castle of Nemeton safe.”

“Don’t worry, juggler-boy,” Arthur heard Modron’s voice. “The prince is our care now.”

“And he shall remain so," Owaine stepped closed to Merlin and petted him on the shoulder. Owaine's always been nice to him. Maybe too nice. "Don’t be sad, we’ll see you in the castle of Gedref in two weeks. I shall throw a feast in your honor, I promise. It’s not often that sorcerers save the heir of Gedref in the patrols. I haven’t forgotten that. Goodbye, Merlin.”

Throw a feast? Bloody hell, where do they think we're heading to? Vacation? Feasts? These green boys, I swear... For all we know, the castle of Gedref might suffer the siege in less than two weeks.

To Arthur's surprise Modron, whose curly black hair were glistening in the sun, grabbed Merlin for a clumsy and impulsively strong handshake.

“Goodbye, trick-boy. Come back with all your weapons. Can’t way to see you fly.”

Now it was his turn to say goodbye, and much as he wanted this moment to never come, he knew the road awaited him. He seized Merlin and lifted him in the air, biting his lip from the desire to lay a single kiss on Merlin's cheek that smelled with chamomile. Instead, he pressed his lips to Merlin's ear to whisper:

“This is not a farewell. This is a goodbye for some time. Remember what I told you in the Western Tower, and you’ll easily find your way to Gedref, if you really can fly. My magic star. Now go, don’t stand here wasting your time. And Merlin, you’ve sworn an oath. You must come back to me.”

“I love you,” Merlin whispered back, and Arthur knew Merlin was crying.

Arthur mounted his stallion and off he rode, afraid to look back, afraid to spot Merlin - slammed by the hard feeling of their temporary parting. He was on the road, without Merlin, yet Arthur, for some unexplainable reason was sure that the road would have to end where it started – by Merlin’s side.