My testimony

The Lord has been knocking on "my door" since my teenage years. Ever since I was a child, I wondered why I had come into this world and for what purpose. These questions led me, unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately) to various theological searches, although I was brought up, like many, a convinced atheist. These searches ended for me in studying Eastern philosophy and various practices (yoga, teachings of the Mahatmas, Roerich, Blavatsky, Buddhism, Taoism and other "isms").

But I did not find answers to my questions; moreover, it led to detachment from the world and to a false calmness. Living in sin painted false values and unfulfilled prospects, throwing me into difficult situations and insurmountable circumstances.

But the Lord is patient and my departure to Israel was that trigger and the beginning of the journey for my realization that I was a sinner and needed help. I came to Israel with my parents and grandparents, while my wife and daughter stayed behind to watch my dying mother-in-law. I waited for them for two years until they finally decided to join me. During those two years, I became involved in Jewish culture, learning Hebrew and familiarizing myself with Jewish tradition, and in the meantime, my 12-year-old daughter Olga attended Baptist Sunday School in Kiev. She accepted Jesus Christ as her Savior after talking with an acquaintance of ours and watching the movie "Jesus" based on the Gospel of Luke. My wife, Lena, brought her to this school and waited in the lobby, watching from the sidelines (she was not yet ready to make the most important decision of her life). When they came to Israel, they were faced with a culture, language and traditions that were foreign to them (Lena is Ukrainian by nationality and according to the laws of Israel, my daughter was not Jewish either). It was very difficult for us and the only solution for us was to find some church or Christian community.

By God's will, not far from where we lived (Petah Tikva) there was an International Baptist Center run by American missionaries from the Southern Baptist Convention. One Saturday we walked to the center (there is no public transportation on Saturday in Israel) and arrived at the end of the service. We were greeted very happily and warmly and invited inside. But the problem was that there was no one there who spoke Russian, but they took care of it, and after a short period of time John (a military attaché from Oregon who had worked in Moscow for 5 years) showed up. From that point on, every Saturday they came to pick us up and bring us to church for the service. I was struck by the genuine love and openness of these seemingly alien people. They genuinely cared for us and it began to change our attitude toward our stay in Israel. The joy of my wife and daughter also inspired me and when, at one of the services, the pastor invited all those who wanted to repent to come forward, I looked at my wife and daughter and joined them. But, it didn't really evoke in my soul a true response and desire to repent, and I did it for them. And even later, when I received water baptism, I did not have the Lord in my heart and was deceitful, not realizing the seriousness of this life-defining act. I continued to attend church and participated in all the services and meetings. The English-speaking church and fellowship with believers from different countries who spoke English, singing Baptist hymns, greatly improved my language skills and understanding, and eventually my daughter and I were able to translate into Russian. This was the impetus for the creation of a Russian-speaking group within the church and the responsibility for its functioning as an integral part of the church.

I am a logical person by my way of thinking and profession (programmer) and approach the question of studying anything in a structural and schematic way. It seemed to me that the logicality, accuracy and reliability of the Bible, which I no longer doubted, gave me the opportunity to understand what it contained, foolishly relying on my mental abilities and logic. It was only later that I realized the meaning of the verses:

"but God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong things of the world; and God chose the ignorant things of the world and the lowly and worthless things of the world to abolish the things that are worthwhile."

Years passed, my daughter grew up and decided to enter a missionary college in Kiev, where she later met her future husband Yuri. They decided to adopt a girl, Lidia, from an orphanage (she is now 21 years old). All this time I was in a struggle between my reason, logic and the realization that I know a lot about God, but I don't have Him inside. My visits to the "holy" places in Israel, my acquaintance with believers, my realization that I was here for a reason and my wife's prayers for my spiritual awakening, were tugging at my troubled soul. But the Lord had prepared a very hard way for me to communicate to my stubborn heart, His plan for me, which was undoubtedly from the day I was born.

My wife became ill with pancreatic cancer so suddenly and unexpectedly. It changed my whole life and challenged me to properly understand the question: "For no reason?" but "For what purpose?” Fighting her illness for a year, caring for her, feeling a great sense of love (not pity), talking to her about death (she was very aware of where she was going and who she would spend eternity with), brought me to such repentance that even now, as I write these lines, tears roll from my eyes. My heart was so broken and turned to God that I began to seek Him in everything and everywhere. I prayed for her healing, relief from her suffering, and ultimately for Him to take her away as soon as possible. She went away quietly, with peace in her soul.

   The Lord is gradually changing the feeling of regret and loss, to confidence in His promise to never leave us, and to meet Him soon. He has opened up opportunities for me that I had not even thought of. My knowledge of Russian, Ukrainian, Hebrew, and English encouraged me to translate from various sources, delving into the essence of Scripture. I began to read the Bible as an "unsophisticated" rather than a "wise man" and came to understand many things that I had not even paid attention to before. The Spirit's revelation became not just someone's story, but a realization that comes unexpectedly but clearly, encouraging me to seek the truth further and to drink of His living water.

   I am grateful to the Lord for my salvation, for His leading in this perishing world, and for the opportunities, He offers to save others like me. Our "Cook" prepares wonderful, tasty and healthy food, and there are many thirsty people to serve.