Me

This is just something that I need to do. I don't expect you to react/understand/care (no one ever does anyway).

You may know me by one of many names/titles. But at the end of it all, I'm just Alexandre. I'm in my 30s. I'm male. I'm single. I'm a virgin. I'm disabled (in many ways). And I'm just so lonely and tired of it all.

Let's go with the disabilities: I have fake hips. I've had part of my spine removed. I have electronics implanted in me and grafted to my spinal cord. I am mentally/emotionally/developmentally handicapped. I don't understand what it means to be human.

Everyone always seems assume that I doing things to be negative, mean, harmful, a dick. But the truth is...I don't know what I just did to upset you. I try to be nice, caring, compassionate...be a part if the crowd, a team-player, a social butterfly. I just can't do it anymore. I get kicked out of groups/servers/jobs/conventions for reasons that either make no sense to me, or because of misunderstandings that no one even tries to see from my side.

I want to be your friend. To ALL OF YOU (yes even the ones who think I hate them). But when I keep being swept under the mat and pushed away. It's hard to even care about getting out of bed and living. I don't want to be alone, but it seems that that is the way my existence is meant to be . Okay. That's my piece. Get to know me more if you want. Kailestis#7810 on Discord (if I end up leaving Telegram again).

It hurts. It really hurts to be stabbed in the back by people I once thought of as friends. Do I even have any friends anymore? Did I ever have friends? (Not directed at you, Max.) I was gone for a while and the only one to take notice and show genuine concern was my dragon friend. And so I went on a blocking/leaving spree. I started blocking people and leaving groups. What does it matter? Only a few of you will even get this far in reading. And fewer still would end up caring.