me

I feel as if someone is always watching me,

Maybe it's because there is.

I don’t know if it’s God,

Or if he is real.

I don’t know much really.

A lot of my friends would classify me as

The dumb blonde of the group,

Or the funny one with no common sense

I think it’s quite rude.

I think of myself as very smart.

And my dyslexia only makes me smarter.

It runs in the family,

Dyslexia I mean.

Both my brother and sister have it as well.

I don’t know if my other brother would have had it.

I never knew him.

Alexander. 

He died when he was only a few months old.

I always wonder how my mother feels about it.

When I try to bring it up, someone always kills it.

I think about him a lot,

Imagining what he would be like

Or look.

My dad isn’t home much.

He works his own restaurant.

Two of them.

I have two dogs,

Mack and Hadley.

I also have a fish named Lola.

I named her after Lola from fish tales.

It was one of my favorite movies growing up.

I sometimes still wish I were a kid,

Even though I was a weird one.

Life was simple then. 

I think about my childhood all of the time.

I think about a lot of things.

Maybe I think more than I talk.

But I also say things very impulsively.

I say what is on my mind.

When I want to,

And to who I want to.

I enjoy sports and the outdoors.

Especially in the summer. 

I go to a summer swim club.

Ever since I was three years old,

Heritage has been like a second home,

A second family.

Not like I don’t have enough family,

I actually have twenty-one cousins.

On my dad’s side.

And on my mom’s,

I have eight.

My family is the best thing that could have ever happened to me.

They don’t know how much I love them,

But I don’t know how to express it.

I’ve never been one to show my emotions.

Maybe that’s why I’ve never had a real boyfriend.

When I was younger, there was one boy.

We would do everything together. 

We would make forts and stay in them all day,

Probably doing nothing.

Maybe that was my first love,

Maybe I was and still am to even comprehend love.

I don’t care.

We might just be platonic soulmates.