Language

In class last night, when we were talking about cognitive load, professor asked if the load is something inside the mind or is it outside, in the instruction. In the mind, of course, I thought. Wait a minute.. What is load, exactly? Is it a “thing” or a feature of a thing (like a heavy load to be lifted) or is it a process (like “loading” of a computer system). Is it “нагрузка” or “загруженность”… Is it both? How do I know what the English speakers think of when they say a word that can be translated to my native language in multiple ways? How can I be sure that I understand it correctly if the word has no exact translation? Here we go: the language barrier. And it was not something you thought it was; I mean, not to boast but I do have a certain level of English proficiency that lets me effectively communicate on various subjects in a workplace, deal with people across continents and create something together. But does it let me use the English language as a mediator for knowledge acquisition and accommodating of my schemata [here here, fancy talk]. Or wait, are we acquiring the knowledge, or are we actually building (constructing) it and thus changing the incoming information inevitably while attempting to store it in our memory? Is it even a thing (knowledge) or is it a process situated here and now (knowing)? 

Back to the last night class and cognitive load. Is the extraneous cognitive load always bad and thus we need to aim at reducing it? Or is part of it just always there, not intrinsic to the concepts and ideas being taught but also unavoidable; just because apart from concept and ideas, on the one hand, and the instructional design, on the other, there is something else in between that is always there and can’t be eliminated? My professor of Cognitive Science, a graduate of MIT physics department, suggests that learning a foreign language to a higher level of proficiency should eliminate the issues that one has with learning about various subjects in it. But can you really learn a foreign language to the extent of its deep structural aspects that guide thinking and learning in that language? And what about learning in your own language? It still kinda gets in the way, doesn't it? Language and culture as mediators of learning. Hello, Лев Семенович. Are we talking about “опосредование” here?

On this note, shall we discuss if we actually think in a language? Товарищи методологи probably would argue that it is not necessarily so; схематизация - наше все; we are thinking in graphs and charts, they might say, or at least there is a possibility of thinking with charts. Will they? I do think it comes back to the language in the end, still. There is not much you can express with charts without additional notes and explanations in language. So, talking and writing about your ideas is crucial. If you have ideas you want to express, of course. I have little trouble with talking and participating in a discussion; from time to time I even see signs that I might have managed to get the message across. But writing is what terrifies me. 

I think now that I haven’t written anything that would be profoundly original…ever. My university writing have been mainly critiquing and addressing other people’s ideas, doing literature reviews, explaining the research that I have been part of, but designed by other people… My writing for work is not less of a compilation: business letters, client proposals, reports based on team reflections, presentation with bullet points and outlines that I can’t say I had deep understanding of. So here we get into two issues: I don’t know if I have anything of my own to say; and I don’t know how to say it cohesively and coherently enough to be understood by others… in ENGLISH. I mean, I might be able to say - but writing in my mind for some reason is a totally different process. Or am I delusional, and unless I am able to write I can't really say that I can express ideas, and hence I might not have any clear ideas of my own, in the end?

Ah.. and one more thing: I hate reading and reviewing my writing. I know I have tons of little errors and typos when I write - but I can’t make myself go back and read the stuff I have written as if just to correct them; I hate the editing part. I wonder why… Is it laziness, or is it the fear that I am not going to like my writing? Or is it because I kinda don’t care enough for it: as if it is some kind of crap that no one should pay too much attention to, even me? I did edit this piece though. Multiple times. Seems like we are progressing here, ha!

Ok, time for positive affirmations. Writing is an act of creativity. Writing is deep. Writing slows things down and provides space for thinking. Writing is an opportunity for self-assessment and capturing of one’s knowledge - thus, avoiding the delusion of thinking one knows more than one actually does. I should find joy in these writing assignments here, at least for the sake of looking for my own voice. I believe it must be somewhere there, and I should have something of my own to say. I just need to find and carve it. And then to translate it back from English into my native language.