Jessica Knoll (left) wrote about being gang-raped by three boys at a party when she was a teenagerBest-selling author Jessica Knoll has revealed she was gang-raped by three boys when she was a teenager.She wrote about the ordeal in an emotional essay published in Lena Dunham's newsletter, Lenny Letter, on Tuesday.Knoll, who is now in her thirties, said she and the protagonist of her novel Luckiest Girl Alive, Ani, share a similar past.The book, which came out in May and has since been optioned by Reese Witherspoon, talks about TifAni FaNelli (Ani), a 28-year-old magazine writer who remains haunted after being gang-raped while a freshman in high school.Knoll, a former editor at Cosmopolitan who was also 28 when she wrote the book, hinted at her past in the book's dedication.It reads: 'To all the TifAni FaNellis of the world, I know.'Knoll revealed on Tuesday that Ani's fate was not 'inspiration' but had in fact derived from her own past.In her essay, titled Why I'm Telling The Truth About My Rape, Knoll recalled being raped by three boys at a party, before she was 'old enough to drive'.
She said she liked one of them, whom she called A Boy in the essay.'I know that I went to a party at which the ratio of guys to girls was not in my favor, where I drank, flirted with A Boy, was dazzled by A Boy, drank some more, and slipped away from the waking world,' Knoll wrote.'I know I came to on the floor of a bedroom, A Different Boy’s head between my legs. I remember A Different Boy from a flare of coherence earlier, trying to help me walk when my anesthetized legs failed me.'She then described waking up in pain later on and seeing A Boy's shoulders 'rising and falling' above her in an 'excruciating rhythm'. Knoll (pictured with her husband), who is now in her thirties and has been married for three years, said she once wanted to reinvent herself. But now, she believes the way to heal is to tell the truth about what happenedKnoll said she woke up the next morning and saw a bare back, which belonged to a third boy, whom she didn't like.'He laughed about how hungover he was, how crazy the party had been, how the reason I couldn’t find my underwear was because it was downstairs
She described going to get the morning-after pill and being called 'a slut' by classmates.Knoll confronted A Boy about her rape once but later apologized to him out of fear the boys would go after her again.'I apologized to my rapist for calling him a rapist. What a thing to live with,' she wrote. After keeping her rape a secret for years, Knoll said on Twitter she was proud of having broken her silence and never thought she would feel this wayShe said she went into survivor mode and waited until the end of high school to reinvent herself.But Knoll, who has been married for three years, now believes the way to heal is to tell the truth about what happened to her.She had previously disclosed the truth to only one reader, the day she pitched her Lenny Letter essay.A woman approached Knoll at a book signing in New Jersey, asking if Knoll had interviewed a rape victim as her account of the even felt so real.Knoll told her something similar to Ani's experience had happened to her.Dunham, who has written about being raped as a college student in her 2014 memoir Not That Kinda Girl, said in Tuesday's newsletter: ''I take tremendous comfort in imagining an alternate universe in which 20-year-old me reads this essay, is able to identify herself as a victim of sexual assault, and saves herself years of self-laceration.'Dozens of readers praised her essay on Twitter on Tuesday morning
, calling it brave, important and breathtaking.Knoll told one of them: 'I feel proud to talk about this which I never thought I would say.' In her essay, Knoll said she and Ani, the protagonist of her novel Luckiest Girl Alive (pictured) shared a similar past. Ani is a 28-year-old magazine writer who remains haunted after being raped as a freshman in high school“Its breadth is astounding—how Brew and Guerra fit the Vignellis’ many achievements into an eighty-minute feature is beyond me, but it’s also such a wonderful film to watch.” – Benjamin Pardo, Executive Vice President & Design Director at Knoll, Inc. Milano Design Festival, Milan, Italy We have decided to insert Roberto Guerra and Kathy Brew’s film both in our itinerant programs and in our program for Milan because it is in line with our Festival’s strategy of spreading Italian excellence around the world. With its discretion, simplicity and quality, this documentary contributes in keeping alive the memory and the interest for essential protagonists of the history of Italian design.”
– Antonella Dedini, Milano Design Film Festival Curator. The considerable turnout at the showing of the film dedicated to the Vignellis was a demonstration both of interest and of great affection and recognition from the Italian audience towards a couple who have spread the Italian Style around the world. The documentary was appreciated particularly for the accuracy of the information it contained and for the candor with which it presented the famous designers, thus arousing great feeling in the audience. – Silvia Robertazzi, Milano Design Film Festival Curator Tonight I watched “Design Is One” and I was deeply moved. What an inspirational documentary this was! I am saddened by the loss of both Massimo and Roberto. The impressions left in my mind from this film will echo for a lifetime! I look forward to recommending this to all my colleagues and future employees. – Tim White, Senior Designer, Verti Design Group Massimo and Lella Vignelli are both hugely important to the past, present and future of graphic design internationally.
What a pleasure to spend time with them and get to know their work and equalling charming and captivating personalities through this film. Thank-you for capturing and preserving these two leaders in our field. URBAN NOMAD DESIGN CINEMA, Taipei, Taiwan What I love about Design is One is the deep and telling portrait it creates of the lives and life philosophies of towering, 20th century designers. This has been done many times with the lives of artists, but with designers, this documentary will go down as one of the first. – David Frazier, Festival Director Kathy Brew and Roberto Guerra’s Design is One so wonderfully captures the honesty and authenticity that drives Lella and Massimo Vignelli’s holistic approach to their work and relationship. It is difficult to stay true to your design philosophies and methodologies, especially as the world becomes more complicated. The Vignelli’s so gracefully share the importance of values, vision, timeless design, and the trust of loving partnerships and relationships…
– Cameron Campbell, ARCADE Board of Trustees, Communication Strategist Teague A beautiful insight to a heartwarming relationship. Not only between Lella and Massimo, but the dedication to their craft. It was incredibly inspiring to see the rhythm between them, the pace of their process, and their ongoing passion for design. We left feeling excited, encouraged, and with the desire to fill our lives with creative passion. – Sallyann Corn, Co-founder fruitsuper design, Chapter Chair IDSA NW A Design Film Festival Singapore 2013 An elegantly produced film charting the partnership of the Vignellis and their dedication to fight ugliness with good design. I thoroughly enjoyed every moment of the film and commend the directors for embarking on this important documentation of one of the greatest designers alive today. We are very proud to have the film included at A Design Film Festival 2013 in Singapore and look forward to future productions from Kathy and Roberto.
– Felix Ng, Festival Director, A Design Film Festival Savannah College of Art & Design, Atlanta, Georgia This film is about Lella and Massimo Vignelli’s love and enthusiasm for ‘good design’ which is evident in their life journeys as designers. Everyone who has met Lella and Massimo knows that their designs and their lives are ‘one’ and the same, and this film is a testament to that unity. – Henry Hongmin Kim, Associate Chair, SCAD Graphic Design (Savannah College of Art and Design) | Creative Director, Pyrrha Studio The film, Design is One, brilliantly documents the modernist design endeavors of the Vignellis and their lifetime passion for design. Throughout the film, it becomes clear that their design solutions are based on fundamental design principles, aesthetics, functionality and common sense. The film also reveals the Vignelli’s humanness and sense of humor. My favorite scenes are Massimo’s explanation of the Heller coffee cup design and the interaction between Massimo and Lella in their kitchen while preparing the spaghetti lunch.
All designers (including graphic, interior, furniture, industrial and product) as well as all architects should see this enlightening film. – Barry Roseman, Professor of Graphic Design | Savannah College of Art and Design (Atlanta campus) Environmental Film Festival in Washington, D.C. – D.C. Premiere The film was AMAZING!!! The crowd was way past capacity..what a great turnout.I normally cannot stay focused on design films because I am immersed in design all day and every day…but I found the film to be well paced, intriguing, incredibly entertaining and well edited…kudos for such a wonderful movie! – Douglas Burton, Director of the Washington DC International Design Festival and owner of Apartment Zero The audience loved the film — and found the post screening discussion very engaging. – Georgina Owen, Associate Director Environmental Film Festival in the Nation’s Capital Savannah College of Art & Design Museum, Savannah, Georgia The screening went very well!