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Passing the hallway with a handful of peanuts still inside my mouth I could see by the window: the sky was just the way I liked. I took a long look at the room. My bed with all my clothes stacked, some already folded, some still crumpled -- screaming to be washed before joining the many compartments prepared in my suitcase.

“It’s my last chance to see the lake that way”, my brain reminded me. I swallowed my peanuts and donned my boots, ready to visit the lake one last time.

Sat on the grass around eight. I had something inside I couldn’t really discern whether it was anxiety or excitement. Everything I’ve been keeping inside me and trying my best to ignore was there, well present in my chest.

I just wanted to stop feeling that all a little. People tend to think that once I like writing I know how to express myself -- and it’s not quite like that. Well, at least not always.

I’m a very intense person -- and maybe that’s why I prefer to hide anything when it comes to my feelings.

I felt so happy and alive, but on the same time, I had this melancholy on my chest. My brain couldn’t stop replaying all the amazing moments I’ve lived and mix it with a strange thing on my stomach — a kind of hollow that you’re only able to feel once you reach the very first fall of a roller coaster of unknown rails.

Reality has become better than my dreams and the insecurities smaller than my convictions and hopes. It was everything and nothing at the same time.

The weight of the world fell on my shoulders and reflected in my heart, that was lighter than ever before. Maybe I just didn’t wanted to go. More than every other year, at this time I didn’t wanted to leave.

- This is my favorite sky. —I said feeling someone’s presence behind me.

- Yeah, I like it too. — a female voice replied.

I looked back just so I could confirm it was the person I thought it was. She sat at my side. Everyone had access to that lake so it could be someone else.

- If I had to call somewhere home… I’d choose this lake. This house, this time, most probably this moment.

- May I know what’s special about this moment, specifically?

- It’s never coming back.

- What do you mean?

- We can come back here as much as we want, as many times as we can, but it will never be the same. This day, July 10th of 2018, will never come back. We can live other amazing and breathtaking moments, but none of them will be able to replace the one we are having now.

She remained silent, looking down at the grass.

- Did I ever told you why I started writing stuff down?

- No — she replied.

- I was afraid once.

- Afraid?

- Yeah, to forget.

- What exactly?

- Things, moments, life.

- Does it have to do with…?

- Yeah, you know the story. I had a best friend once, he recognized me once after the accident, but still he did not remember anything, just that my face looked familiar.

She remained silent again.

- Hey… — I put my hand on her back. — It’s okay, really. Things happen…

Still quiet.

- Sometimes life is just too good to be told… actually life is not even meant to be told, but to be felt and truly lived. And honestly, I wouldn’t change one single thing.

- Me neither. — she said. — Your memories, how do you keep them all besides your pictures? — she asked pointing to the camera stuck around my neck. — I mean, how could I sorta save them without one?

- It depends… What are pictures to you?

- A catch?

- Kinda. To me they’re an eternal and genuine catch of a moment, but also a kind of proof. A way to prove to yourself that everything that happened does not only exist in your head, but that it is real.

That traditional silence again.

- But back to your question… I’d say you shall make your own eyes your best camera and keep it all inside your brain, your soul, your being. Eternize your moments inside of you. Memories are a collection of unique moments that will never return, but still, they are part of you. They are the reason that you are who you are. They have builded this version of yourself. If you think you may forget, eternize them through your words — but keep them safe. Share only with the ones that deserve it.

- And who would deserve it?

- Sometimes just yourself.