Him.

Let me start by saying that I am so proud of you. You've been through stuff which you didn't deserve and didn't tell anyone about it because it's just to hard to explain. Even if you did, you really can't exactly detail what you are feeling.

You didn't deserve the problems you faced and i hope you recover soon, I know you can. We think we can't but trust me you are stronger than you think and once yoy start focusing on yourself, you'll live the life to it's fullest.

Thinking about yourself isn't wrong, sometimes bring selfish also isn't wrong but if you hurt someone to an unnecessary degree, it's makes you one of them who hurted you once. Know the difference between self-love and self-centred.