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The Ghost Boyfriend

October 5, 2021 by -$@yu-

01.

The sunset

Summer nights were always so warm in Texas. Lying on the bed ,watching the dying sun through the open window , admiring the view of skyscrapers in the background of purple pink sky and enjoying the background music supplied by the noises in the city became the favourite habit of mine for past 6 months. It has been so long since I have stepped out of this cage of four walls after I came back home.

Today ,for the first time after a year and half from the incident happened at Huston ,I'm dressing myself to go out for a dinner date. I don't know about what my heart feels more worried ; going on a date with a guy whom I always see as friend or turning back on the view of the sunset at my apartment window which I used enjoy for so long.

 My whole purpose of this act is merely helping Mrs.Monika to feel ease at her heart which is so heavy these days as a result of bothering a lot about me and my future.

Life has become much difficult to her ever since she took the responsibility as the care giver of me since I return home from Memorial Hermann at Huston ,prescribed for 5 months bed rest.She is so worried and afraid that I would never be able to get over Leon and won't be happy in my life ever again . So I'm supposed to give a try to start my life from where it was forced stopped.At least if not for me i have to do this for her.

" Sara ... You ready ? .."

"Yeah..coming.."

Andi's voice suddenly woke me up from my daydream.Andi or Andria is my sister. Not by blood ,but by soul. She was there with me, to share every delight and every sorrow .If I have any reason to live probably it's these two; my nanny Mrs.Monika and bestie Andi.

I used to hang out a lot with Leon when we were living in Huston. Ellen's cafe at down streets , the theater and the central park were like heaven on the earth for us. Mind portraits of those beautiful moments i had ,still give me the same thrilling vibe.

 I always go back to that time where I was enjoying his sweet scent ,warm hugs and the melody of his heart beat.There was literally no difference between his beautiful eyes and the twinkling starts in the night sky. His smile was my daily booster and his deep voice was my favourite out of all.

I don't exactly know how much I liked him or how much I miss him now. Sometimes may be I know ,but I don't know how to express . But I can say one thing for sure. A feeling of utmost emptiness always crawls in to my mind whenever I try to avoid daydreaming like this.

I got up from the stool where I was sitting next to the dressing table ,gave a final look at the mirror. By looking at my own face I felt like something so important is missing there. Yes, I clearly know what it is.It's a genuine smile. No make up ,accessory can ever fill that emptiness . But for the moment I have to wear one,a smile I mean. So I finished dressing as I forcefully stretched my lip corners up to the cheeks so it may look like I'm smiling .