Free

I don't know what it is, but just something about being here, on this planet makes me feel confined, like I am unable to reach my full potential because I am being controlled by the society around me. I feel alone, lost, scared, bored of just everything that is happening and I am kind of sick of it. I'm at the stage where I am deciding my future, everyone seems to know but me. I have nothing, no desire, no work life that interests me because I don't want to be confined to the same rules as others. I want to be free. 

In the next week I will be becoming an adult, my birthday, everyone says I need to celebrate with my friends or family. They keep asking me what I want to do but I am too scared to say the truth, that I hate my birthday, I hate everyone looking at me, talking to me, all eyes on me for that one day, then back to nothing the next. and, in reality I don't have many friends, good friends at least. I have friends at school that I hang around but not really ever outside of school, like a forced friendship. And really I don't want to be friends with them, or anyone, I like being alone. The only person who I absolutely love spending my time with is her. She is my light, my purpose, she gives me reason and she gives me happiness. I am looking at her right now, she is sleeping, she has the face of an angel. She and my family are the reason I am still here.

I am sick and tired of being confined to a routine, day in day out the same fucking thing every day, every year for what so I can learn shit that doesn't even interest me, things that I don't even know what I will use for, and probably wont even remember by next week. I fucking hate it here. I hate this life. I hate this world. I want to be free.

I often daydream and I constantly think about this one thing, if I had the power to shapeshift. It would just be the most amazing thing ever. I would be able to go anywhere, do anything, see what I dream of seeing, live the life I know I want to live. I could even leave this planet. But I know one thing is for sure, I would definitely take her with me, wherever I go she comes too. We could travel the world like I know she wants to, we could make a house, our dream house and have a family and pets and live our best lives with whatever the fuck we wanted. That's what I want to do. that would be me set free.

:)