Conservative vs. Liberal

If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn't buy one.

If a liberal doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat.

If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.

If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.

If a liberal is down-and-out, he wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.

If a liberal doesn’t like a talk show host, he demands that those he doesn’t like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.

If a liberal is a non-believer, he wants any mention of God and religion silenced. (Unless it’s a foreign religion, of course!)

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.

If a liberal decides he needs health care, he demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If a conservative reads this, he’ll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.

If a liberal reads this, he will delete it because he’s “offended”.