Daughter Cum
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Daughter Cum
The Standard Group Plc is a multi-media organization with investments in media platforms spanning newspaper print
operations, television, radio broadcasting, digital and online services. The Standard Group is recognized as a
leading multi-media house in Kenya with a key influence in matters of national and international interest.
Standard Group Plc HQ Office,
The Standard Group Center,Mombasa Road.
P.O Box 30080-00100,Nairobi, Kenya.
Telephone number: 0203222111, 0719012111
Email: corporate@standardmedia.co.ke
More stories to check out before you go
I am 32 and married with children but in serious trouble because I messed up with a young girl (18) from our estate and she is now pregnant. We became friends after I frequently gave her a lift to town then we had casual no-strings-attached sex on several occasions. She is now four months pregnant and she is asking me what she is going to tell her parents. I have tried to talk to her but she isn’t listening. I don’t love her and I can’t imagine losing my family because of this young and irresponsible girl. I think some neighbours are already suspecting something from the way they make funny statements at me and so it may just be a matter of time before this comes out. I don’t know what to do. Please advise.
Ochieng, are you calling her young and irresponsible now that she is pregnant for you? Accept that she is expectant and since she is not underage consider engaging all the concerned parties including her parents and your family. You knew you did not love her but still went ahead and slept with her. Choices have consequences. Face this problem head-on, tell your wife what you did and prepare to raise this chid.
This is a problem of your own making. I would not encourage you to ask anyone to terminate a pregnancy. People already know of the story so in case she procures abortion and she dies or something happens you shall be the first culprit. You better inform your wife and your parents of this pregnant lady and be ready to support her and her baby because it has happened after your prolonged relationship. But first wait for the birth of the child then you can do a DNA test to confirm paternity then if it turns out positive you can do what will be required of you.
How do you go terming her as irresponsible? It is interesting how you realise this only now after sleeping with her severally. A responsible man takes responsibility for his actions and that pregnancy is your responsibility. You should encourage and support her to keep that pregnancy and make sure the child is raised responsibly.
One of the best ways of dealing with adversity is to stay ahead of the information. Let your wife get the information from you before someone else gives her the 'abridged' version. Get her in her best moods, when it is the two of you, preferably, away from home. Be honest with her and together come up with how to deal with the scenario. Be very calm throughout the discussion. The girl is free to inform her parents. Finally, take the responsibility by law or laws of moral justice.
What really has woken you up from your secret doing? Is it because the girl is pregnant? Would you be feeling this repentant if she was not?
Well, this must be a time of deep regret for you and I guess you wish you could conceal all this drama. Keeping this a secret may not be possible, there is a child already involved, and it is not a solution. The best option now is for you to open up to your wife yourself before the rumour gets to her. Do not wait for her to seek an explanation from you.
When you volunteer to give the information, even your apology will sound real as opposed to waiting until she gets to know, then you appear as if you are seeking forgiveness because your private affair has been uncovered and not because you are remorseful.
We cannot tell how she will react but your conduct before now will determine the outcome. That is, if you have been good to her, she is likely to forgive you, but if your behaviour has been a pain to her, then things might be different. That is why you must be the one to disclose this matter to her.
In addition, the child’s welfare needs to be taken into consideration and this is something that the three of you need to agree on. All said and done, make an honest assessment of your relationship so that such incidents can be avoided in future. Sometimes couples slowly drift apart without their knowledge. It is only episodes like this that jerks them to reality. Therefore make every necessary changes that you may have to. Together you can turn and get this relationship back on course and thriving.
(Hilda Boke Mahare has a background in Counselling Psychology)
Ochieng, I more or less understand the situation you are in but I am not sure about what sort of ending you are anticipating through this. Picking from your words you say she is asking you about what to tell her parents but on the other hand you are talking to her and she is not listening? We shall get back to this later but it is somewhat a paradox.
Essentially, I have my fingers crossed that she is actually 18 as you say because anything lower than this can actually turn out to be disastrous for you. If he is indeed 18 the problems are still enormous but of a different nature. If my imagination serves me right, you are trying to get her to sort this matter once and for all through a termination. If this be the case then she is doing the right thing by not listening to you and it is actually very unfair of you to think of putting her life at risk all for your convenience. If she is pregnant with your child I encourage you to deal with the matter as is and not consider unreasonable shortcuts that only work well for you.
I am also surprised that you term her an irresponsible girl but do remember that you repeatedly had sexual relations with her so you are just as irresponsible if not more. This is something you will have to deal with for the rest of your life and with such matters the key is coming out clean on this. Yes, it will have repercussions on you and all the families that are involved in this. There is no other way to dealing with such matters. Come clean and take whatever responsibility that may come from this. You may not need to marry her but as far as the child is concerned, you ought to take your rightful share of responsibilities and support them. Yes, this will impact heavily on your family but since there is no other way to go about this you will have to bear the brunt. On their part, they will need to come to terms with this and learn to live with it. The alternative is to move from that neighbourhood and deal with this secretly for as long as it will be possible.
{Simon Anyona is a relationships counsellor}
Subscribe to our newsletter and stay updated on the latest developments and special offers!
The Standard Group Plc is a multi-media organization with investments in media platforms spanning newspaper print
operations, television, radio broadcasting, digital and online services. The Standard Group is recognized as a
leading multi-media house in Kenya with a key influence in matters of national and international interest.
Standard Group Plc HQ Office,
The Standard Group Center,Mombasa Road.
P.O Box 30080-00100,Nairobi, Kenya.
Telephone number: 0203222111, 0719012111
Email: corporate@standardmedia.co.ke
More stories to check out before you go
I am 32 and married with children but in serious trouble because I messed up with a young girl (18) from our estate and she is now pregnant. We became friends after I frequently gave her a lift to town then we had casual no-strings-attached sex on several occasions. She is now four months pregnant and she is asking me what she is going to tell her parents. I have tried to talk to her but she isn’t listening. I don’t love her and I can’t imagine losing my family because of this young and irresponsible girl. I think some neighbours are already suspecting something from the way they make funny statements at me and so it may just be a matter of time before this comes out. I don’t know what to do. Please advise.
Ochieng, are you calling her young and irresponsible now that she is pregnant for you? Accept that she is expectant and since she is not underage consider engaging all the concerned parties including her parents and your family. You knew you did not love her but still went ahead and slept with her. Choices have consequences. Face this problem head-on, tell your wife what you did and prepare to raise this chid.
This is a problem of your own making. I would not encourage you to ask anyone to terminate a pregnancy. People already know of the story so in case she procures abortion and she dies or something happens you shall be the first culprit. You better inform your wife and your parents of this pregnant lady and be ready to support her and her baby because it has happened after your prolonged relationship. But first wait for the birth of the child then you can do a DNA test to confirm paternity then if it turns out positive you can do what will be required of you.
How do you go terming her as irresponsible? It is interesting how you realise this only now after sleeping with her severally. A responsible man takes responsibility for his actions and that pregnancy is your responsibility. You should encourage and support her to keep that pregnancy and make sure the child is raised responsibly.
One of the best ways of dealing with adversity is to stay ahead of the information. Let your wife get the information from you before someone else gives her the 'abridged' version. Get her in her best moods, when it is the two of you, preferably, away from home. Be honest with her and together come up with how to deal with the scenario. Be very calm throughout the discussion. The girl is free to inform her parents. Finally, take the responsibility by law or laws of moral justice.
What really has woken you up from your secret doing? Is it because the girl is pregnant? Would you be feeling this repentant if she was not?
Well, this must be a time of deep regret for you and I guess you wish you could conceal all this drama. Keeping this a secret may not be possible, there is a child already involved, and it is not a solution. The best option now is for you to open up to your wife yourself before the rumour gets to her. Do not wait for her to seek an explanation from you.
When you volunteer to give the information, even your apology will sound real as opposed to waiting until she gets to know, then you appear as if you are seeking forgiveness because your private affair has been uncovered and not because you are remorseful.
We cannot tell how she will react but your conduct before now will determine the outcome. That is, if you have been good to her, she is likely to forgive you, but if your behaviour has been a pain to her, then things might be different. That is why you must be the one to disclose this matter to her.
In addition, the child’s welfare needs to be taken into consideration and this is something that the three of you need to agree on. All said and done, make an honest assessment of your relationship so that such incidents can be avoided in future. Sometimes couples slowly drift apart without their knowledge. It is only episodes like this that jerks them to reality. Therefore make every necessary changes that you may have to. Together you can turn and get this relationship back on course and thriving.
(Hilda Boke Mahare has a background in Counselling Psychology)
Ochieng, I more or less understand the situation you are in but I am not sure about what sort of ending you are anticipating through this. Picking from your words you say she is asking you about what to tell her parents but on the other hand you are talking to her and she is not listening? We shall get back to this later but it is somewhat a paradox.
Essentially, I have my fingers crossed that she is actually 18 as you say because anything lower than this can actually turn out to be disastrous for you. If he is indeed 18 the problems are still enormous but of a different nature. If my imagination serves me right, you are trying to get her to sort this matter once and for all through a termination. If this be the case then she is doing the right thing by not listening to you and it is actually very unfair of you to think of putting her life at risk all for your convenience. If she is pregnant with your child I encourage you to deal with the matter as is and not consider unreasonable shortcuts that only work well for you.
I am also surprised that you term her an irresponsible girl but do remember that you repeatedly had sexual relations with her so you are just as irresponsible if not more. This is something you will have to deal with for the rest of your life and with such matters the key is coming out clean on this. Yes, it will have repercussions on you and all the families that are involved in this. There is no other way to dealing with such matters. Come clean and take whatever responsibility that may come from this. You may not need to marry her but as far as the child is concerned, you ought to take your rightful share of responsibilities and support them. Yes, this will impact heavily on your family but since there is no other way to go about this you will have to bear the brunt. On their part, they will need to come to terms with this and learn to live with it. The alternative is to move from that neighbourhood and deal with this secretly for as long as it will be possible.
{Simon Anyona is a relationships counsellor}
Subscribe to our newsletter and stay updated on the latest developments and special offers!
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Lords at the Pinup Girl Clothing launch party, September 2014
This section needs expansion . You can help by adding to it . ( July 2016 )
^ Anolik, Lili (September 15, 2020). " 'A Felony Just to Own': The Sleazy Story Behind Penthouse's Most Controversial Issue" . Esquire . Retrieved October 26, 2020 .
^ Rich, Katey (July 20, 2020). "The Porn Industry's Biggest Scandal Is Also an Unsolved Mystery" . Vanity Fair . Retrieved October 26, 2020 .
^ Falzone, Diana (August 31, 2017). "An adult industry past can be awkward when starting a new career" . News.com.au — Australia's Leading News Site .
^ Lords 2003 , p. 6
^ Jump up to: a b Jordan, Pat (April 1990). "Traci Lords With Her Clothes On" (PDF) . GQ : 250–304 . Retrieved March 15, 2016 .
^ Lords 2003 , p. 4
^ Lords 2003 , p. 8
^ Lords 2003 , p. 11
^ Jump up to: a b c Krajicek, David (May 26, 2005). "Traci Lords" . Crime Library . Archived from the original on February 10, 2015 . Retrieved March 15, 2016 .
^ Mankiewicz, Josh (July 11, 2003). "Secrets & Lies". Dateline NBC . Season 15. Episode 78. NBC . Transcript of the original source .
^ Lords 2003 , p. 46
^ Traci Lords: Underneath It All
^ Lords 2003 , p. 54
^ Jung 2010 , p. 182
^ Lords 2003 , p. 56
^ "New Again: Traci Lords" . Interview Magazine . July 26, 2017.
^ Jump up to: a b Jennings, David. (2000). Skinflicks: The Inside Story of the X-Rated Video Industry . AuthorHouse . ISBN 978-1587211843 . Google Book Search. Retrieved on March 14, 2015.
^ Jump up to: a b "The Traci Lords Story" Archived March 4, 2016, at the Wayback Machine . She: Revolutionary Tough Girl Culture. Retrieved on March 14, 2015.
^ Jump up to: a b Palermo, Dave. " Sex Films Pulled; Star Allegedly Too Young ", Los Angeles Times , July 18, 1986.
^ Soble, Ronald L. and Feldman, Paul. " Sex Film Star Not Facing Charges, Reiner Says ", Los Angeles Times , July 19, 1986.
^ Murphy, Kim. " U.S. Loses Round in Traci Lords Case ", Los Angeles Times , September 30, 1988.
^ Kolson, Ann. " Shock: The Porn Queen Was Just 15 ", The Philadelphia Inquirer , July 19, 1986.
^ Polman, Dick. " Traci Lords: Fallout From A Porn Scandal ", The Philadelphia Inquirer , July 25, 1986.
^ Murphy, Kim. " Three in Traci Lords Sex Film Case Indicted ", Los Angeles Times , March 6, 1987.
^ "Traci Cleans Up" . People . November 27, 1998 . Retrieved December 5, 2016 .
^ Broeske, Pat H. (March 20, 1988). "Traci Does TV" . Los Angeles Times . Retrieved March 15, 2016 .
^ McCarty 1995 , p. 120
^ Broeske, Pat H. (January 31, 1988). "A Model of Fitness" . Los Angeles Times . Retrieved March 15, 2016 .
^ Weinberg, Marc (July 1988). "The Return of Traci Lords" . Orange Coast Magazine . pp. 192–195 . Retrieved March 15, 2016 .
^ Dees, Rick (1991). Into the Night . ABC .
^ Dougherty, Margot (September 11, 1989). "What Hath John Waters Wrought? A Musical with a Cast You Wouldn't Believe" . People . Retrieved March 15, 2016 .
^ Waters, John (2019). Mr. Know-It-All: The Tarnished Wisdom of a Filth Elder . Farrar, Straus and Giroux. ISBN 978-0374214968 .
^ Allis, Tim (May 3, 1993). "Reborn Yesterday" . People . Retrieved March 15, 2016 .
^ Gable, Clark (March 24, 1989). "Whatever happened to Traci Lords, the porno queen who decided to go straight?" . Orlando Sentinel . Retrieved March 15, 2016 .
^ Tzara, Alexander (October 5, 1995). "Traci Lords: I Was A Teenage Pornstar" . Trigger . Retrieved March 15, 2016 .
^ Lim, Gerrie. "Traci Lords: The Other Side of an X-Rated Star" Archived July 31, 2016, at the Wayback Machine , BigO , Issue 110, February 1995.
^ Swertlow, Frank. "Traci Lords: Drug-free And Mainstream" , Orlando Sentinel , April 13, 1993.
^ Vanderknyff, Rick (February 13, 1993). "Inquiring Minds Quiz Traci Lords : Speech: The former underage porn star spars with a raucous and mostly male crowd at Cal State Fullerton while fielding often randy questions" . Los Angeles Times . Retrieved March 15, 2016 .
^ Svetkey, Benjamin. "The porn star who went legit" . Entertainment Weekly , January 27, 1995.
^ McCabe, Bruce. "Details profiles actress-with-a-past Traci Lords: 'I was never a victim,' she says" . The Baltimore Sun , April 23, 1995.
^ Jump up to: a b "Traci Lords - chart history" . Billboard . Retrieved January 26, 2015.
^ Goyanes, Ily (July 5, 2013). "Traci Lords at Florida Supercon: "I Love Miami... I Packed My Bikini"" . Miami New Times . Retrieved 2015-03-06.
^ Riemenschneider, Chris (August 12, 1995). "Lollapalooza Fans Can Dance Till Dawn at Post-Concert Rave" . Los Angeles Times . Retrieved 2015-03-06.
^ Romero, Dennis (August 16, 1995). "POP MUSIC REVIEW : Enit Festival a Successful Mix of Traditional, Progressive" . Los Angeles Times . Retrieved 2015-03-06.
^ Fink, Mitchell. "The Insider" Archived April 2, 2015, at the Wayback Machine . People , April 3, 1995.
^ Ryon, Ruth. "Selling a Home She Never Sees" , Los Angeles Times , June 9, 1996.
^ Satuloff, Bob (May 27, 1997). "Smells Like Teen Spirit" . The Advocate . No. 734. p. 93 . Retrieved March 13, 2016 .
^ Atkinson, Michael (June 1997). "Movies" . Spin . Vol. 13, no. 3. p. 126 . Retrieved March 13, 2016 .
^ Snierson, Dan (January 8, 2001). "Traci Lords is the Sci Fi Channel's new intergalactic babe" . Entertainment Weekly . Retrieved March 13, 2016 .
^ Williams, Scott (January 22, 1998). "Traci Lords - 'Profiler' In Courage" . Daily News . New York . Retrieved March 13, 2016 .
^ Pinsker, Beth (November 13, 1998). " Boogie Boy is weirdly sublime" . Entertainment Weekly . Retrieved March 13, 2016 .
^ Head, Steve (January 30, 2001). "Traci Lords: Ex-Vampire" . IGN . Retrieved
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