A popular YouTube star with more than six million subscribers has revealed in a new video that he is bisexual, in which he admits he has been struggling to suppress his physical attraction to both men and women for almost his entire life.Shane Dawson, 26, a comedian from Southern California, who is best known for his elaborate comedy videos, which see him playing a variety of quirky characters, skipped the cameras and the lights for his emotional coming out video, which he filmed on his computer, addressing his fans like he did when he first started his YouTube channel in 2008. 'Over the last year, I have been extremely sexually confused. I mean my whole life, but this last year is when it really hit me,' he explains at the start of the 15-minute video. 'You know, I always wished that I was gay, that I was 100 per cent gay. For so many reasons.' Coming out: YouTube star Shane Dawson reveals he is bisexual in a touching coming out video that he shared on Tuesday Shane says being gay would mean that he would know who he was.
He also admits that he thought it would be a lot easier for him to be accepted by people because he is 'feminine' and frequently 'wears wigs and dresses on the internet'.'But I am not,' he says. 'I am not completely gay. And I can't sit here and say that I am because that's not real. But I also can't sit here and stay that I am straight.'Shane says therapy and being honest with himself helped him come to the conclusion that he is bisexual. He notes that there are a lot of coming out videos of people who are gay or lesbian and they are 'so confident'.He goes on to say that his fellow YouTuber Ingrid Nilsen's coming out video, which was shared last month, was the 'the best video I have ever seen'. However, it also made him upset when thinking about his own life. 'It made me cry because I am not that,' he says. 'I do not know who I am 100 per cent and I know that a lot of you guys may feel the same way.' Emotional moment: The 26-year-old says he has always been attracted to men and women, but repressed his feelings because of his family's religious views
True confession: Shane admits that he used to wish he was gay because he felt it would be easier on him Shane recalls being five-years-old and having crushes on both girls and boys, but when he told his religious family, they told him that God wouldn't accept that. After that he started repressing his emotions and using food as a coping mechanism. 'I got real fat, and I ate all the feelings,' he says. 'I was morbidly obese. It was a way for me to create a shell around me so that nobody would look at me. I didn't want guys. I didn't want girls. I didn't want anybody to ask me out.'He notes: 'I just wanted to be f***ing invisible.'By the time he was 18-years-old, Shane says he was 400lbs and had never been kissed or even been on a date. When he lost the weight, he started his YouTube channel and became 'Shane Dawson'. 'I became the guy who everybody called gay,' he says. Hidden pain: The comedian rose to fame after her started his YouTube channel in 2008. Seven years later, Shane, who is known for his comedy sketches and impressions, now has nearly seven million subscribers
Unbelievably grateful: After releasing his video, Shane took to Twitter to thank his fans for their love and support Shane says he was defensive of being called gay because of his family's religious views, and when he had his first kiss at 21 - with a girl - he thought he could honestly say he wasn't. I felt a spark. I felt a connection. I was like: "Oh, I'm not gay. I'm straight,"' he recalls. Shane says he started dating girls, including his former girlfriend of two years YouTube personality Lisa Schwartz, who he was once rumored to be engaged to. Even though he notes that he had feelings he wasn't dealing with, he says his first year with Lisa was the best year of his life. 'I didn't even think about a guy at all,' he explains. 'Then around the second year I started feeling guilty and I started being attracted to guys as well. I didn't tell her. I didn't tell anybody.'Shane says really started hating himself. His feelings of shame and fear made him turn to an eating disorder and depression.
He notes he even wrote his collection of essay titled I Hate Myself during this difficult period of his life. Finding yourself: Shane, who dated fellow YouTuber Lisa Schwartz (left) for two years, says he was sexually confused towards the end of their relationship Forever friend: Shane says Lisa was amazingly supportive and encouraged him to life his life after he told her the truth Shane says he began speaking about his feeling with his therapist and she explained to him that not all people are entirely gay or straight. He went on to say that the reason he is making this video is because he knows that there are people like him out there who feel the same way.Shane says he moved out of the home he shared with Lisa, noting that the relationship was going great at the time anyway because he was so depressed and she didn't understand why. He continued to see his therapist and two months ago he spoke with Lisa about his sexual confusion. 'I was very sad because I didn't want her to think that I was gay and that I was hiding it from her and that I was using her as a beard because that's what the whole Internet probably thinks,' Shane says tearfully.
'I wished I was gay because that would be easier because I could just say: "I'm sorry, Lisa. I'm gay and I'm leaving. I'm going to be with a guy."'That would be so much easier. But that's not what it was. And I'm still attracted to girls, but I have never faced that I'm also attracted to guys, and I needed to figure that sh** out.' Taking it all in: Lisa also took to Twitter after Shane shared his video, asking fans to give her 'second to process' So in love: Shane says that the first year he spent with Lisa was the best year of his life, noting he never thought of being with a guy Hiding the truth: Shane says he was ashamed when he started to feel confused about his sexuality during the second half of his relationship with Lisa. During this time of self-loathing he wrote his book I Hate MyselfieShane says Lisa cried, but was amazing, telling him to go live his life. He notes that he is open to love, whether it is with a guy or a girl because he wants to live. 'I don't want to hate myself anymore,' he says.
'I don't want to be sad all the time.'Shane says he started telling his family and friends last week, and notes that his mom has been 'so supportive'. He adds that his friends have been great and no one has been mean about it. 'I want to just be happy, and I want to love who I love, whether that's a guy or girl,' he says.Shane admits that he has made fun of bisexuality before and joked that people who say they are bisexual are just denying that they are gay. But he says he can't deny who he is any longer. He goes on to say that he lost his virginity to a woman and it was incredible, but he has also experimented with guys before. Wise words: 'Love who you want to love,' Shane advises at the end of the video Full of admiration: Shane says fellow YouTuber Ingrid Nilsen's coming out video (pictured) was the best video he has seen, but it made it sad because she is sure of who she is and he isn't 'I can't honestly say I'm gay. I can't honestly say I'm straight,' he says. 'But I can honestly say I'm open to love in any way, and I guess that makes me bisexual.'