MARVIN TROUBLESHOOTING & ADJUSTMENTS Regular cleaning and routine maintenance should keep your Marvin windows and doors operating smoothly. But if a problem should arise, the trouble shooting techniques found in this section can help you diagnose common problems and make minor adjustments to your windows or doors. Please read the instructions carefully and make sure you have all the necessary tools and parts before beginning work. If you experience a problem with your windows or doors that is not mentioned, or if the proposed solution does not seem appropriate, please contact your local Marvin retailer for assistance or service and replacement parts.What Horrible Things Did We Do To Our Penises Last Year?1/01/17 11:09am OK, so you’ve already learned about all the things we shoved inside ourselves last year. But what about our dangly bits? Rest assured, we punished them. All patient descriptions taken verbatim from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission’s database of emergency room visits:
GRABBED BB GUN WHILE WRESTLING AND GOT SHOT IN PENISFELL DOWN STAIRS WITH A STICK FROM A TREE. HE HAD SHARPENED IT INTO AN ARROW POINTED END- STICK LANDED ON SCROTUMMASTURBATING WHILE TAKING ON TELEPHONE WITH GIRLFRIEND, CRACKED HIS PENISMASHED HIS PENIS BETWEEN CAR TRUNK AND LAWN MOWERDRIVING GO-CART, STRUCK CLOTHESLINE, STRIKING SCROTUM AGAINST SHAFT OF STEERING WHEELFELL ON MEAT THERMOMETER. PENIS SHUT IN DRESSER DRAWERHAD PENIS SURGERY LAST WEEK, SKIN GLUE STUCK TO DIAPER AND CAME OFF TODAY CAUSING UNCONTROLLABLE PENILE BLEEDINGPLAYING WITH CAR TOY PENIS CAUGHT IN WHEELSHIT IN SCROTUM THIS MORNING BY CORNHOLE BEAN BAGMETAL RING ON PENIS SINCE LAST NIGHT. FELL ASLEEP WITH IT ONSORES ON HIS PENIS 6 DAYS BEGAN AFTER HE SPRAYED LIDOCAINE SPRAY ON PENIS TO PROLONG ERECTIONNAKED RUNNING IN THE HOME WHEN HE TRIPPED OVER A LAMP CUTTING SCROTUM ON BULBSTEPPING OVER DOG GATE AT IN-LAWS’, MISSED STEP & CAME DOWN ON GATE ON TESTICLESCAUGHT SELF ON FIRE W/ CUTTING TORCH. DX: SECOND DEGREE BURNS TO SCROTUM, PENIS, PERINEUM.
PLAYING WITH A KNIFE AND SUSTAINED A PENIS LACERATIONA ROCK WAS THROWN FROM A LAWN MOWER WHILE BROTHER WAS MOWING LAWN & PATIENT GOT HIT IN THE PENISHAD A MORTAR (TYPE B) FIREWORK EXPLODE IN HIS LAP.STRING TIED AROUND BASE OF PENIS. STATES HAS IT TO KEEP AN ERECTIONLACERATED PENIS ON WRISTWATCHPENIS PINCHED IN A BI-FOLD CLOSET DOORFELL INTO FAN CAUSING LACERATION SCROTUMPUTTING ON PANTS THIS MORNING TOO QUICKLY, SCROTAL BRUISESCRATCHED HIS PENIS ON A PLASTIC BOTTLE WHILE TRYING TO URINATE IN ITJUMPED OFF OF TOILET CATCHING SCROTUM ON POINTED TOWEL HOOKJUMPED INTO A SWIMMING POOL LANDED ON TOP OF ANOTHER KID CONTUSION TO PENISFILLING UP INFLATABLE POOL, USING HAND PUMP, PATIENT STUCK PENIS IN INTAKE VALVE WHILE THEY WERE BLOWING IT UPHAVING INTERCOURSE W WIFE, WAS INSERTING HIS PENIS WHILE POSITIONING HIS WIFE WHEN JAMMED PENIS ONTO BED POSTAT THE GYM CLOTHING GOT CAUGHT IN THE ROWING MACHINE PULLED BETWEEN SCROTUM AND ANUS PER DAD LIKE A “WEDGIE” PERINEAL HEMATOMAWAS DANCING WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND & HIS PENIS ACCIDENTALLY GOT CUT ON HER PANTS ZIPPERGOT PENIS CAUGHT ON BELT BUCKLE AND POSSIBLY CRUSHEDPLAYING WITH MOM’S EXERCISE BAND WHEN IT
SNAPPED BACK HITTING HIS PENISRIDING A STATIONARY BIKE, STANDING UP WITH FEET ON PEDALS WHEN HE SLIPPED AND FELL HITTING HIS PENIS AGAINST SEATHAD AN ERECTION AND PULLED HIS JEANS OVER HIS PENIS AND IT FELT LIKE IT BENTWAS JUMPING ON BED, PLAYING WITH CHOPSTICKS. CHOPSTICKS WENT THRU SWEAT PANTS AND PUNCTURED SCROTUMHIT IN THE PENIS WITH A SOCCER BALL- HE CANNOT FEEL HIS PENISHAD A 22 CALIBER HANDGUN IN HIS PANTS POCKET WHEN IT DISCHARGED AND BLEW PENIS OFF AMPUTATED PENISWAS JUMPING W/ SPATULA IN HIS HAND 1 HR AGO AND JUMPED ON IT SCROTUM LACERATIONDOING THE “WORM” MANEUVER ON CARPETING WHILE NAKED AND SUSTAINED A LACERATION TO PENISLast night, our crazy, happy Yellow Lab (Cali) ripped the tip of her tail off. That might sound like a joke, but it was anything but funny. So here’s what happened: We had just gotten home and I was rushing to snatch Eddie (our Elf on the Shelf) out of McKenzie’s room. Out of nowhere, Cali let out a yelp. I glanced at her, but she looked fine…she’s always had a high pain tolerance, but if she whines, you know it’s bad.
I quickly stowed Eddie in a kitchen cabinet. Then Jon walked in the door behind me and said, “Why is there blood everywhere?!” Good God, it really was everywhere. I quickly ran Cali down the the stairs and outside from our 2nd floor condo…when she was finally outside, I noticed her tail: WHERE THE HELL IS THE TIP OF YOUR TAIL, DOG?!?!?! There was blood pooling on the sidewalk. Now, I’m not “afraid” of blood, but between helping our poor injured doggie, and cleaning our entire blood-spattered house, I was suddenly extremely overwhelmed… Jon came downstairs to comfort/bandage Cali, while I went upstairs to try and figure out what the heck happened. When I came back in the house, it literally looked like a scene out of Dexter…blood ALL OVER the couch, the recently professionally cleaned carpets [groan], and 5 feet up the walls. I went into McKenzie’s room, where the initial “yelp” occurred, and looked around. Blood spatter was everywhere, but I couldn’t locate a specific spot where it originated.
Then I saw the closet. Now, McKenzie has bi-fold closet doors with little horizontal vents in them. I walked over and there was blood on the closet…AND THE TIP OF HER TAIL WAS STILL STUCK IN IT! *gag* It made me queasy, so I left it for Jon to deal with. I’m such a great wife. I ran down and gave him gauze and bandages, then began the chore of cleaning the blood from the house. It literally took a TWO HOURS to clean everything. I had to whip out the Little Green Machine and scrub the carpets (a great investment if you have carpets in your house…and if you don’t know, COLD salt-water removes blood the best…from clothes, carpet, etc). Then I scrubbed the walls. I didn’t mean to be insensitive to poor Cali, but you have to be fast…once blood sets it’s practically impossible to get out. Meanwhile, Jon wrapped her tail and put her in her cage, then carefully removed the tip of her tail from the closet door. Then he and McKenzie scrubbed the common hallways of our building and washed the blood off the sidewalk, while I finished cleaning the inside of the house.