Our Guide to choosing the Best Toddler Travel Bed 2017Getting Your Child to Go to Bed & Stay There Getting Your Child to Go to Bed & Stay There Healthy Sleep Habits for Children Strategies for Overcoming Nighttime Fears Head Banging and Body Rocking Sleep in Adolescents Sleep in Teenagers Sleep Tips for Teenagers The following suggestions can help when your child does not want to go to bed or is having trouble staying in bed:Your child will benefit from the structure and rules you set regarding bedtime limitations. In fact, having firm rules can ease – not cause – anxiety in children. Make sure you explain the new bedtime rules to your child. When you, the parent and/or guardian, are consistent with the bedtime rules, your child will understand what to expect, learn self-control, and adapt. In fact, they will learn to like the predictability of the sleep routine, but the initial few days need some determination on your part to succeed. It is also very important not to lose ground during holidays and vacations.
All adults involved in bedtime routines should agree to act similarly so the child is not confused and learns not to push limits with one or the other adult.Establish a regular bedtime for your child and be consistent about sending your child to bed at this time. Children with consistent bed times are more likely to get sufficient sleep. If you'd like to a establish an earlier sleep time than your child current has, you can start setting your child's bed time 15 minutes earlier every few nights until you meet your new goal. For example, if your child currently falls asleep at 9:30 p.m. and you would like him or her to go to bed at 8:30, you could start making his or her bedtime 9:15 for a few days, then move it back to 9:00 p.m. This technique is called bedtime fading. Be cautious about moving the bedtime back too quickly or making it too early (for your own convenience) as to make it age inappropriate. Doing so may cause your child to not be able to fall asleep, leading to a lot of frustration.
Your child's sleep physician may sometimes recommend a late bedtime to begin with and then advise the fading technique. This strategy may reduce stress as you introduce the other quiet activities and routines around bedtime noted below.Before bedtime every night, set aside up to 1 hour for calm activities, such as listening to quiet music or reading a book in a dim light. The activity should be something that is fun, and that can be used as a tool to create a sense of approaching bedtime. However, the activity should not be too stimulating – such as TV watching, computer gaming, or heavy homework, which may arouse rather than calm your child. The last several minutes of quiet time activity should take place in the room where your child sleeps.Activities such as going to the restroom, a relaxing bath, brushing teeth, etc. may be incorporated in this time. Also, it is important for children to be brought to bed/put into bed awake so that they learn to fall asleep by themselves.If your child cries, speak calmly, reassure your child "that he or she is fine and that it is time to go to sleep."
Make your visit brief, and then leave the room. If your child continues to cry, space out the time between visits to the bedroom, and when you do return, do not do anything but talk calmly, briefly (1-2 minutes), and then leave. No arguments or discussions need to take place. The purpose of your visit is to let your child know that you are present and to reassure him or her that they are okay. Continue to keep the atmosphere as for bed time (dark, quiet, calm). Your child will learn to calm down and go to sleep if you stick with this routine.If your child starts developing a habit of getting out of bed, these tips may help resolve this problem. Take your child back to bed, tell him or her that the door will be closed (but not locked) if he or she gets out of bed again and that he or she has control of keeping the door open by staying in bed. If your child stays in bed, the door stays open. If your child gets out of bed, close the door for 1 or 2 minutes. If your child gets out of bed again, put your child back in bed and close the door again for another couple of minutes.
You may increase the length of time the door is closed by 1-2 minutes if you do not get a desired response. When your child stays in bed, open the door and acknowledge their good efforts with praise. If age appropriate, a bedtime pass to allow one exit from the bedroom for a specific reason may work as well to give the child a sense of control. For older children, a method of positive reinforcement can be performed, such as praise next morning for staying in bed.Do praise your child and reward your child when he or she stays in bed or does what you want him or her to do regarding bedtime activities and sleeping. Consider stickers, breakfast treats, small toys, or other special prizes as some possible ways to reward your child. Be careful not to offer junk food as reward. Use positive phrases, such as, "you are doing a great job of staying in bed." On the other hand, don't dwell on misbehavior from the previous night. Don't use the bedroom as a place of punishment or time outs – so your child doesn't associate the bedroom with negative behavior.
As far as I know sibling bed sharing isn’t a trend. It is however trending in the Rosas household and I’m getting excited about what this new bedtime tactic has afforded us: drama free bed time! It all started last week. My youngest son Everett decided that he no longer wanted to sleep in his own bed. He got out of bed one night to find me and explained in his own way that he was afraid of the dark and of monsters. It went something like this: “Rawr Rawr” he said as he pointed to a pirate ship coat hook on his wall and shook as if afraid. Toddler charades are so fun, right? Next he took off towards my room and pointed to tell me he wanted to sleep in my room with us. I told him no. We worked very hard to end his dependency on nursing and laying with me to go to sleep so I wasn’t about to back track. I’m still working on night weaning him and having him sleep through the night… Then it hit me! What if he slept in the room with his brother for the night?
I had tried to have them sleep together before hoping Ev would learn to fall asleep on his own that way but it never worked. This time Ev has learned to fall asleep independent of me so I thought it would be worth a shot. Fletcher’s room lacked th “spooky” pirate ship also. “Everett, would you like to sleep with your brother in his room?” “YEAH!” he yelled excitedly and scurried off to his room. I directed him to be quiet and we snuck into the room, then I picked him up and put him in his brother’s twin sized bed. Fletcher had already fallen asleep like the angel he is. At first I thought I would get away with sneaking another person into his bed but Everett started talking to his brother. I love the look on a child’s face when they wake from a deep sleep. It is like they have no earthly idea where they are; they are so wide eyed and dreamy. I’m sure he was dreaming about Transformers and saving the world from Decepticons. I explained that his brother was afraid of the dark and thought he saw a monster in his room so he would like to sleep with his big brother.
“Your job is to keep him safe and in bed.” He was more than up to the task. I felt pretty good about my decision and left the two boys, wide awake, in bed together. I didn’t have a monitor in Fletcher’s room and really wanted to know what was being said. I overheard Fletcher tell his little brother that there was no such thing as monsters but that was it. I walked away and held my breath. I continued to hear talking for a few minutes and then it was silent. I marched in with my camera because of course… I had to get photographic evidence. There were my boys sound asleep in the tiny twin bed. Each night since then I have let the boys sleep together except I switched their rooms. Everett isn’t afraid of his room as long as Fletcher or someone is with him. Everett has a queen size bed so it makes more sense to have them share a bed there. I’m pretty amazed at how well this is working. Both boys really enjoy sharing a bed as far as I can tell.
When asked if he would rather sleep alone in his bed or room in with his brother Fletcher always wants to sleep with Everett. The other bonus to them sleeping in Everett’s room is that I have a video monitor in there. Last night Everett put up a fight because he was overtired. It took a while for him to stop crying after I stopped nursing him. He knew I would leave and he didn’t like the idea. Fletcher meanwhile left the bed to get a late night snack. When Everett calmed I left him, alone, just to see how it went. Fletcher went back to the room, Everett’s room, on his own accord and crawled in bed. I just sat back and listened. After about ten minutes of chatting about Transformers, monsters, and some wrestling I intervened. I used the two-way function on the monitor. “Boys, it is time to go to sleep. Put your heads on the pillow and go to bed. Fletcher replied “How many minutes until you come in here? No minutes… you can go to sleep now. I’ll see you both in the morning.”
I heard Fletcher tell me goodnight and instruct his brother to go to sleep. Some of you might be thinking that I am passing my parenting duties on to Fletcher. To this I reply- Hell yeah I am! I’ve been in charge of getting Everett to sleep by bouncing, rocking, nursing, patting, shhhing, singing, for over 2 years. With the rare exception when his father was able to get him to bed it has been me. Sometimes for over an hour each night. When he started refusing to go to bed my first thought was “Oh crap. I’m not ready to do this anymore. It was a fluke that the brother thing panned out. I’ll be honest and say I have no other intentions with this bed sharing thing other than making my life easier. I’m not all “I want my kids to sleep together because it will make them have a closer bond.” or whatever. I was in survival mode. I have no grand design in mind. Will this be happening next week? I know that I used to sleep in the bed with my sister (and yes, we cuddled) for what is probably an embarrassingly long amount of time.