Lego bricks are generally awesome, and by all accounts The Lego Movie, opening this weekend, is as well. So we thought we'd make sure the folks at Lego didn't get too full of themselves by reminding the world of the worst toys, figures and building sets they've unleashed upon the world. JUST NO. I have no idea what possessed a single Lego engineer to create this cast-off from the Island of Dr. Moreau, let alone what made the company release it on an unsuspecting world. Or why they thought the two white round bricks underneath the nose-piece would represent two buck teeth and not some kind of abnormal growth. All I know is that all of these decisions were made in hate and fury. I put this is in quotes, because as you can see, while Lego assures us that this 1997 set is of a fire truck, it clearly looks nothing likeOh, it's red, and it is a vehicle, but that's pretty much where And what good is a completely bizarre fire truck without an
equally bizarre fire chief? Admittedly, this fire chief is too good to ride on the truck with his peons, and has his own mini-vehicle, without doors or even sides, to travel on. He also has his own little hose for… little fires? he's out fighting fires by himself? Because all the other Lego firemen think Call me crazy, but I think I'm got a pretty good idea how the robber could break into this bank. Or out, I guess. they behind the bars or in front of them? Is this guy trying to break into to access an ATM, or is he trying to get the endless void on the other side? either case, this thing sucks. Back in 1979, Lego created Fabuland, a line full of anthropomorphic animals, as sort of an intermediary set between Duplos andThey're kind of terrifying, like if Hunter S. Thompson had designed a toddler's Lego line while high on mescaline. But nothing is more chilling that The Fabuland Big Band set, featuring Peter Pig and Gabriel Gorilla.
monsters would listen to a band consisting of nothing but a drummer and tuba 6) Star Wars Final Duel IIYes, now you can recreate the thrilling action of Luke Skywalker's final duel with Darth Vader and the Emperor by… watching him walk down the hallway to his final duel with Darth Vader and the Emperor? long as he walks no more than four steps, because that's all the hallway In 1998, Lego introduced their K'nex-like building sets called Znap, because Zs make everything cooler. Indeed, the line wasn't overall bad — most of the kits looked all right, an they had crazy things like a Dino-Jet a giant ant along with the hover-subs and other vehicles. this piece of crap — which Lego tried to pass off as a "Jet-Car" — even more 8) Jack Stone Red Flash StationOkay, Lego, now you're not even fucking trying. Remember back in the early '00s, when Lego started trying to make sports games out of Legos? One of the earliest catastrophes was the NHL
Slammer Stadium, in which sentient giant head statues from Easter Island played a rousing game of hockey. But what's worse is the rink itself — a flimsy cardboard rink, surrounded by an even flimsier wall. If only Lego has some kind of more durable building material to work with! Horse and Clara Cow's Ice Cream Shoppe Another Fabuland set, obviously, begging a very disturbing question: Where does Clara get the milk to make the ice cream? Well before Lego Friends, Lego tried to reach girls with Belville set, a 1994 series which focused more on figures and playsets moreThe problem was the figures were godawful and the sets were a weird mix of fairy tale stuff and standard, mundane doll activities. Lego exhausted the traditional beauty salons and stables, they threw together this — sure, an interior designer is a pretty progressive progression for a doll to have in the '90s, but it kind of undercuts the message when her design
equipment consists of a stand-alone sink, a bathtub (the hell?) and a brush. can think of a sadder image than a girl trying to brush her ugly, tiny doll's plastic hair helmet, please let me know. I wasn't lying about the dolls. If Artoo had a skeleton, this is what it would look like. Lego couldn't be bothered to make a single piece that would prevent him fromFeel free to insert a C-3PO/Phantom Menace "I'm naked!" joke here, if you're a bad person. 14) Jack Stone Fire Response SUVDoes no one at Lego know what a goddamn firetruck looksOr an SUV, for that matter? In 2002, Lego had big plans for a new toyline call Galidor. They were so confident that they ordered a CG cartoon and had it on the air, about two teens named Nick and Allegra who are transported to an alien world threatened by evil aliens. It didn't do well at all, and I'm confident it wasn''t helped by this promotional figure of Nick, which looked like Chinese bootleg
toy assembled by the blind and then stuck in a microwave for a while. makes Prince Justin look like Ryan Gosling. Peter Pig has murdered the sentient Turkey man of Fabuland and eaten him, or at least plans to. is running a contest through Dec. 10 which challenges fans to find a Golden LEGO Brick on the site’s LEGO product pages. When you find one, you can click it to be entered in the prize drawing, and you can read the full rules below. (You must be a US resident to enter the contest.) And if you’re looking for an extra reason to go browse Amazon today, LEGO Marvel Super Heroes 76042 The SHIELD Helicarrier has been discounted by $50, bringing the massive 2,996-piece set to $299.99. This is the best discount on this set we’ve seen yet, and if you’re still hesitating, check out our review of the SHIELD Helicarrier, but don’t wait too long — the sale ends today. And don’t forget that lots of other LEGO sets are currently on sale, including steep discounts on many of The Force Awakens sets.
LEGO Marvel Super Heroes 76042 The SHIELD Helicarrier, $299.99 , and enter for a chance to win one of four prizes! in search of a product page with a “golden brick” under the product information. Click on the golden brick when you find it to enter for a chance to win one of four prize packages as follows: Prize #1: One (1) LEGO Super Heroes the Tumbler building Set (Approximate Retail Value (“ARV”): $199.00). Prize #2: One (1) LEGO Star Wars Rogue One Complete Collection (ARV: $384.92). Prize #3: One (1) LEGO Brick-Built 18” Tall Doctor Who Figure. Item is custom built by LEGO master builders (ARV: $2,000.00). Prize #4: One (1) prize package which consists of a trip for one (1) winner and up to three (3) guests to visit either the LEGOLAND California Resort or LEGOLAND Florida Resort (ARV: $1,200). NO PURCHASE OR PAYMENT OF ANY KIND IS NECESSARY TO ENTER OR WIN THIS SWEEPSTAKES. A PURCHASE WILL NOT INCREASE YOUR CHANCES OF WINNING. Must be a legal resident of the 50 United States or D.C., 18 or older.