Balance

There is time for everything.
THOMAS EDISON (1847–1931)

WE LIVE IN A BUSY world, with most of us juggling our family with work, friends, work, exercise, work, bills, emails, and work. It is difficult for us, but our children don’t have it easy, either. They are trying to keep up their grades, play sports, be involved with clubs, make friends and fit in, complete their homework, clean their rooms, do their chores, and stay out of trouble. There is so much going on in our lives, and many of us aren’t taking the time to relax and find a way to create a reasonable balance that will allow us to fit in all the activities we want to be involved with. This can be especially bad for teachers and parents, because when we aren’t able to find a good balance for all we have on our plates, our children are usually the ones who suffer.

Balancing Instruction to Meet Different Learning Styles

During my first year of teaching, I was determined to turn my students into excellent writers. I didn’t care if they had to write down to the bone, they were going to become great writers. I would stay up late every night, making corrections to their work. I would sit with the students individually, showing them their mistakes. We wrote, we wrote, we wrote, and in the end their handwriting got much, much better. For the most part, however, the content did not, and at the end of the year the class scored dead last in the county in writing. I didn’t understand what I was doing wrong. Mrs. Jones’s students, however, had scored second in the county in math. I noticed that she was demonstrating to her students how she would solve problems. She would talk the class through each problem, step by step, showing the students her thought process and how she came up with her answer. I thought that if it worked for math, it would work for writing as well.

At the beginning of the next school year I made overheads that just had lines on them, and each day I devoted a portion of class time to writing. Whatever the students’ assignment, I would take the same task and show them how I would respond in writing. I talked through the process, explaining the importance of the opening sentence, how I was avoiding repetition throughout, trying to keep it entertaining, and all the while maintaining the structure. This process grew, and soon instead of writing for the students, I was writing with the students. I would ask for suggestions as I wrote on the overhead, and the students would speak up if they had an idea. They didn’t raise their hands, they just spoke out their ideas—never shouting them, just making comments and giving suggestions. I would pick out good ideas from the group and say, “Oh, I like that,” and I would write it down. I seldom had to stop because the students were so full of ideas and the writing just flowed. Soon the students’ own writing began to flourish. I would remove the names from their papers, make overheads of their writing, and share it with the entire class. We would point out the negatives and positives of each piece and give suggestions on how it could be improved. After showing the students my writing, they improved because they had an example to learn from, but when I showed them the writing of their peers, they seemed to enjoy that even more and they made outstanding improvements. We soon started to grade the papers on a four-point scale, and after much practice, the students were allowed to grade each other’s papers. I would place the students in groups of four, and the students would take turns reading and grading the papers. I would then join each group and listen as they discussed their reasons for their grades and how each paper could be made better.

For about three-quarters of the writing assignments I had the students do only a first draft. One of the comments I heard at the beginning of the year was that the students hated writing because they had to do revision after revision until it was perfect. I didn’t want the students to get so aggravated and consumed with one piece of writing, so I just let them have fun with it, writing something only once and placing a great deal of effort into getting it right the first time. I found that by doing it that way, the students were able to get a lot more practice with writing and enjoyed the process much more. There were some assignments that we would revise and really polish up, but that was less common.

By the end of the year when we took our writing tests, the students scored first in the county. It wasn’t because they had been writing, writing, writing but because they had been exposed to writing in many different ways, using all different types of techniques. They had seen me write; we wrote together as a class; they had learned how to grade writing; they had scored each other’s papers; they had discussed their work; they wrote in all different types of genres and on every subject; and they had learned to enjoy expressing themselves through their words.

This approach to learning needs to be applied in every subject. Kids learn differently; some are visual learners, some respond better to things they hear, and others respond to things they experience. Some kids focus best when they are in quiet surroundings; others enjoy reading while listening to U2 and watching MTV at the same time. It is important as teachers and parents for us to present information to students in many different ways so that we are covering all the bases and reaching all the children.

Mrs. Jones still teaches in Aurora, and each year she has over 90 percent of her students testing on grade level in math. The reason for this is that she presents the information in a balanced way, covering all different types of learning styles. She has the students working with manipulative items, in groups, on the computers, in their books, and on the overhead; they are out of their seats, discovering math around the school, and sometimes working silently or with a partner. She presents all the problems in many different ways, showing the students many avenues to take in order to find the solution. She encourages every student to tackle the problems in the way that makes sense to them and to use the strategy they are most comfortable with. It’s that type of instruction that we must present to our students.

When I taught in New York City and was trying to reach the needs of thirty-seven students in one class, I felt as if I was going to lose it. I never felt that I was doing an adequate job. One technique I used that seemed to work, however, involved having the students participate in an activity I called “Musical Marathon.” I would greet my students in the hall and tell them that they were about to embark on a mission of magnificent proportions. I would tell them that there are three rules:

They must, above all else, work with their team members. I would mention a few words about working together and supporting ideas.

If they hear music, they have three seconds to become silent, and anyone who speaks after that time while the music is playing will lose points for their team.

When they hear music, after they become completely silent they must quietly move to the set of desks to their left.

That is it. No more rules. I would then begin to play music, the students would become silent and then walk into the room. There they would see that I had the desks divided into seven groups. On each set of desks there were name cards showing the students where to sit. In the center of each set of desks was an assignment that the group had to complete in seven minutes. I would turn off the music, and off to work they would go. At the end of seven minutes I played the music again and gave the students seven seconds to get to the next group of desks to their left. For the next hour, the teams would make their way around the room until they had completed each assignment.

The first time I did this with the students was a learning process. Some teams took forever to change groups, some didn’t work together, and some were constantly looking to me for advice, which I wouldn’t give them. I wanted them to learn to work together, and, more important, I wanted them to participate in all the different types of learning styles that were presented.

One activity had a tape recording with ear phones for each student. The night before, I had read different parts of a story on each tape; and each student would be listening to a different part. Each student had to listen carefully because no one else was hearing their part of the story. In the center of the desks was a sheet with twenty-five questions that required the information each person had learned in order to answer.

Another section had measuring tape and eight boxes, some small, some large, that I had gathered from around the school. I had taped a number, 1 to 8, on each box, and the students had to list the area of each one, in inches, on a sheet of paper.

I borrowed a set of encyclopedias from another teacher and had them in one section. On a sheet of paper I had listed thirty famous scientists, and the students had to match them with their accomplishments that were listed on the right side of the page.

In another section the students had to weigh twenty objects and list their weight in grams. In another they had to use tangrams in order to solve a puzzle. Each time we played “Musical Marathon” I had different activities depending on what we were learning. No matter what the students were required to do, however, having them involved with hands-on activities and having them learn to work together and actually apply the things they were learning in class really helped them connect with what we were learning.

When I think of classrooms where the students sit in the same place every day and the teachers lecture on and on, it breaks my heart. When we are working with kids, we have to find ways to present information in ways that the students enjoy, and, even more important, we have to make sure that we are using a balanced approach toward education and addressing all the different learning levels and styles that are present in the children.

Finding the Right Balance with Discipline and Love

I have heard from many teachers who are using the rules listed in The Essential 55 in their classrooms. Most have broken down the list into a number that works for them, whether it is twenty or forty, but some have used all fifty-five. And when I say all fifty-five, I mean all fifty-five, even the joking rule about “No Doritos.” I visited one school where they had outlawed Doritos entirely.

Most of the teachers and parents I have heard from have said the rules are really working well. Some have said, however, that they are having problems getting their students to accept so many rules. In reality, you can have 1,000 rules and it still won’t matter unless you have a good relationship with the students. There must be a balance. You have to be firm and you have to be consistent, but at the same time you can’t be so strict that the students rebel and don’t want to please you. On the other hand, you can’t spend all your time trying to get the students to like you, because even if they do like you, in the end they won’t respect you and will probably end up running over you. There has to be a balance. The discipline must be in place, and you have to show the kids that you care about them and find ways to make them like being around you and in your class.

This also goes for parents. I have seen parents who are too strict with their children, and the kids end up acting out, not doing well in school, smoking, talking back, or using any other way they can to rebel. When there is a strong relationship between the parents and their children, this happens much less often. On the other hand, some parents avoid discipline because they don’t want to strain their relationship with their child. They will sometimes give punishments but will soon relent under pressure from the child. Children raised in that type of environment learn not to respect authority. They learn from their parents that words have no real meaning and their actions have no true consequences. With children it’s all about finding a balance. You have to maintain discipline and be consistent. You must mean what you say and stick to it. If you know you really aren’t going to enforce a whole week without TV, then don’t say there will be no TV for a week. It is much more powerful to give a realistic punishment and stick to it than to give a punishment that sounds really powerful and bad at the time but ends up not really being as severe as you claimed. Parents also need to make sure that the relationship with their children is strong. If children look up to their parents and enjoy being around them, they will be far more likely to respect them and adhere to their wishes. Children who learn at a young age not to obey authority will become teenagers who talk back, act out, and are disrespectful.

My parents always did a good job of giving realistic punishments, and when they said it, I knew they meant it. At the same time my parents never yelled or said negative things toward me. They were supportive and loving. Their best quality, however, was their humor. When I was growing up, they would make me laugh so hard with their facial expressions, clever wit, classic one-liners, and humorous take on the world. Anyone who knows my parents has cracked up in laughter more than once. That humor, mixed with their kindness, support, and love, is why I respected them. I didn’t want to let them down, and when they had to enforce discipline, my sister, Tassie, and I both listened. It is that type of balance that needs to be in place. Parents have to be fun, kind, and supportive, and people their child wants to be around. At the same time they must be consistent and firm.

Balancing Life with Teaching

When I was growing up, I always had a huge amount of energy. I was always running around, going from place to place, person to person, room to room, finding out what was going on and being in the middle of everything. My grandmother, Mudder, who was always quick with her words, used to tell me, “Ron, I think you’re afraid some-one’s going to break wind and you aren’t going to smell it.”

When I started teaching, I poured all of that energy into the school, my classroom and mainly my students. I would be up until 2:00 A.M. planning lessons, and I would be the first person at school in the morning. I was running full-steam ahead. I was going to change the world, and no one was going to stop me. After about six months, something happened. I was dead. My energy was drained. I was overwhelmed by all that my students needed from me. Paperwork was all over my desk. I just had to get away. I went to visit a friend of mine named Robyn, and she said to me, “Ron, you’re burnt out.” Then she said something very wise: “Ron, in order to teach about life, you have to have a life.”

She was right. I was living at school morning, noon, and night, and it was too much. I was losing myself in the school. When I looked in the mirror, I didn’t see Ron, I saw Mr. Clark.

From that moment on I continued to go full-steam ahead at school and keep that plate quite full, but at the same time I have made time for me, for my friends, and for my family Sometimes you just have to let things go. I can remember times in North Carolina when I had tons of papers to grade, but my friend Joey would want to play tennis; so I would choose tennis. The next day I would pass back the papers, and we would go over them together in class. I learned quickly that it isn’t necessary to grade every single item the students complete, and I realized that by taking the time to play tennis, I got a good workout and ended up sleeping better and feeling more refreshed in the morning. That day when I taught I had more energy, and there was pep in my step.

My first year of teaching I had an after-school Ghost Writer’s Club. We would watch the Ghostwriter TV show, list clues in our notebooks, and try to solve the mysteries ourselves. The students really looked forward to it, and I never wanted to cancel a meeting. At lunch I was talking with Mrs. Jones, and after I told her how burned out I was and how I wished I didn’t have to keep the club students after school that day, she just said, “Mr. Clark, cancel. It’s no problem. The students can call their parents now during lunch to let them know, and you won’t have to worry about it.” She told me that sometimes as teachers we have to allow ourselves to have a break. That is okay, and we cannot feel guilty about it. She was right. That day after the bell I went straight home and took a nap. That night I just watched TV, kicked back, and chilled. The next morning I was a new person.

Recharging is necessary, and it will make us a better teacher and also a better person. It is important for everyone, not only teachers. On average, Americans have less time off and fewer vacations than any nation in the world. We strive for success and focus on output, and oftentimes we sacrifice our health and emotional well-being to meet the needs of the job.

At times, it seems we are even more concerned with products than we are with people. I can remember as a little boy watching how my grandparents and aunts and uncles interacted with everyone. They seemed to be so close and really have strong bonds. People took time to sit and talk, to rest with one another on the porch, to share parts of themselves, and to learn from one another. Now it seems as if most human interaction is done via emails and instant messaging, and the time we spend with our friends and loved ones is minimal. That is a shame, and if we are going to truly find a balance that offers us the greatest happiness, we must find a way to make time for the ones we love and care for in our lives. Having a strong unit of friends and family will contribute to the mind, body, and soul, and fulfill our lives and make us better workers and happier people.

When we are given the choice between work and our loved ones, sometimes we must make the sacrifices for ourselves, and we can’t feel guilty about it. We have to find a balance between work and our lives outside of work; otherwise, we will burn out so much quicker and then not have the energy or desire to stay in the profession long enough to make a lasting contribution.

Excellent 11: Qualities Teachers, and Parents Use to Motivate, Inspire, and Educate Children.