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Updated 1144 GMT (1944 HKT) June 24, 2015
Story highlights
Nude art class helps Japan's middle-aged virgins
Sexual apathy an increasing problem in Japan
Some say it's linked to economic stagnation
Tokyo (CNN)When I was a young, single woman in Japan in the 1980s, the economy was red hot and so was the dating scene.
Cool girls weren't ashamed of losing their virginity before marriage.
Of course for me personally, losing my virginity was a big deal. But socially, it was no biggie. It was the 80s, Japan was alive, and life was good.
It's alarming for me, and many of my peers, to see the enthusiasm about sex and relationships we felt during our youth replaced by the sexual indifference seen in Japan today.
A government survey released this week suggested that nearly 40 percent of Japanese in their twenties and thirties are not in a relationship don't think they need a romantic partner, with many calling relationships "bothersome."
Another survey from 2010 found that one in four Japanese men in their thirties who've never been married are virgins. The figures were only slightly less for women.
This sexual apathy is extremely troubling for Japan, which has the world's most rapidly aging population, sparking concerns that citizens will not produce enough children to sustain a healthy economy in the coming years.
I was skeptical when I learned of a nude art class aimed at inspiring Japan's growing population of middle-aged virgins.
I thought, if a man hasn't had any kind of sexual relationship by his thirties or forties, simply sketching a nude woman is like throwing a drop of water on a forest fire. It's not going to solve the problem.
But then we interviewed Takashi Sakai (we've agreed to change his name), a 41-year-old Japanese virgin who says these classes, offered bimonthly in Tokyo by the non-profit White Hands, are the closest he's ever been to a real, naked woman and not some fantasized version in Japanese manga.
"When you see a woman and find her attractive, you might ask her out, hold her hand, kiss and that's how it goes," Sakai says.
"But in my case, it did not happen for me. I thought it might happen naturally, but it never did."
Shingo Sakatsume -- a self-styled "sex helper" working with White Hands -- says middle-aged virgins who would like their situation to change lack real life experience with women, so allowing them to spend time looking at the female body is a first step to solve the issue.
"In Japanese society, we have so much entertainment beyond love and sex. We have animation, celebrities, comics, game and sports," he says.
"Why do you need to choose love or sex over the other fun things that don't have the potential for pain and suffering?"
The illusion of a perfect relationship, combined with the Japanese fear of failure, has created a serious social problem, he says.
He knows the apparent disconnect is leading to fewer relationships, record low birth rates, and a shrinking population.
The classes seem to be helping Sakai, a mountain climber and teacher who, at 41, is not only a virgin, but also has never been in a relationship or even been kissed.
For years, he's kept his virginity a secret from friends, co-workers, and family.
"Not telling others (I'm a virgin) was the same as pretending the problem does not exist," says Sakai. "It was like putting it away on a shelf where nobody can see it."
As I watch my six-year-old son grow up, I always think about whether Japan will be a good home.
By 2060 when he becomes my age, if current trends continue, Japan's population will have shrunk by more than 30%.
Two in five people will be older than 65. Will Japan be able to sustain itself? What will his life be like?
Japanese views on sex and relationships have changed dramatically during my 27-year career.
Back in the bubble economy of the 1980s, unmarried girls over 25 were called "Christmas Cake" -- a term for something you throw out after the season has passed.
In the 1990s, the concept became "year-end noodle."
In Japan, we eat noodles on New Year's Eve. If not eaten by the 31st, they also get thrown out like Christmas cakes.
Today, many laugh at these old clichés.
Twenty years of economic stagnation seems to have led to emasculation of some Japanese men, who can no longer count on finding a job that will pay enough to support a wife and children.
"Economic status and income is closely tied to self-esteem. Lower income means lower self-esteem," Sakatsume says.
"Having lower self-esteem makes it difficult to commit to a love relationship."
Sakai now shares his story openly at White Hands classes. He says confiding in others helps him realize he's not alone.
"There are so many people living as though they have no sexual desire. I feel first hand that (these) kind of people are quietly on the rise."
Sakai says he still hopes to say goodbye to his virginity but is philosophical about it.
"I feel much better now because I can talk about it. And by talking about it, I've come to realize that my situation is not something that I must change, but I must recognize," he says.
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We made a list of the best teen movie v-card scenes – good, bad and ugly. Because virginity... who needs it?
By Kate Wertheimer and Phil de Semlyen Posted: Thursday June 24 2021
Losing one’s virginity – be it romantically, awkwardly or otherwise – is a teenage rite of passage (perhaps the teenage rite of passage). While it pops up in a miscellany of adult-oriented movies, like The 40-Year-Old Virgin and Call Me By Your Name, it’s an absolute fixture in teen flicks. The motivation behind most teens' actions can be boiled down to one thing: sex, without which we wouldn’t have the following great scenes. 
This sweaty, sun-dappled sex scene is pretty magical, we have to admit. Sebastian, ever the gentleman, asks if Annette is okay (um, she seems great) while Counting Crows' "Colorblind" plays in the background... but it was 1999, okay? Don't lie and say the whole thing didn't stir your loins.
Poor McLovin. He only got in one thrust before being rudely interrupted by his cockblocking cop friends, scaring away his lady friend and driving him to his inhaler. But oh, what a thrust.
Lux Lisbon is living the Platonic Ideal of the American teen experience: she’s a beautiful suburban blonde who is crowned homecoming queen before losing her virginity to her king under the lights of her high school’s football field. Unfortunately for Lux, she’s in a Sofia Coppola movie, which means that she’s going to wake up the next morning near the 50-yard line, that teen dream quickly replaced by the cold light of day.
When Di accidentally drives on the freeway, the fear of death drives her and Murray into one another's arms (beds). Like Cher says, "Boy, getting off the freeway makes you realize how important love is."
"I think if we fuck, you would love it." So says Telly, the self-proclaimed "virgin surgeon," as he prepares to relieve another barely-teenage victim of her innocence. This is cherry-popping as an act of unthinking existential desperation, a way for the unloved Telly to leave his mark on the world. How the girl in question feels about it is, rather cruelly, left unexplored.
Unless you also lost your virginity in a seedy baseball dugout while Jackson Browne crooned "Somebody's Baby" on the soundtrack of your mind, you can't even begin to understand the psychic trauma endured by Jennifer Jason Leigh's Stacy. Also, that bench has got to hurt. But it's the poolhouse sex (pictured above) that everyone remembers... we wonder why?
Ben and McKinley's romance is by far our favorite subplot in Wet Hot American Summer. And while the hippie wedding scene is magical, it just doesn't beat sweaty man sex in a sports shed, complete with tube socks and loose balls (we mean soccer balls, perv).
Loathing turns to lust when former childhood friends Denise and Kenny are locked in a bathroom together all night. And Kenny's creepy love backpack comes in handy after all.
A sun-warmed coming-of-age film concerned with popping cherries (and the odd peach), Call Me By Your Name’s abashed-but-sincere virginity scene shows that it’s possible to express and repress your desires at the same time. When 17-year-old Elio (Timothée Chalamet) hooks up for a roll on the lawn with Marzia (Esther Garrel), its pleasures can’t mask the fact that his stronger urges are for studly American Oliver (Armie Hammer). Bonus points for doing the deed ’80s-style in double denim.
This is arguably the most heartbreaking loss-of-virginity scene in cinema, as a gang of bored Texas teens round up slow-witted Billy and drag him down to the corpulent local hooker to make a man of him. He comes too soon, she punches him in the face, and another hapless kid loses what little innocence he had left.
Three bored band-aids (note: no Penny Lane) strip and deflower William for fun. Maybe not the most romantic scenario, but we can think of worse entrées into manhood.
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