This Ain T Avatar Xxx

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An XXX parody based on James Cameron's 'Avatar'.
An XXX parody based on James Cameron's 'Avatar'.
While 3-D adult movies have been made as far back as the 1970s, this 1080p Blu-ray feature is claimed to be the first adult movie made specifically for 3-D televisions.
Porno crap sets back 3-D about 60 years
Axel Braun, the hack who cranks out video parodies/ripoffs (STAR TREK is one of his worst) like sausage, perpetrated this AVATAR clone with a special added detraction: incompetent 3-D photography. The video comes with an extra disk in 2-D, which is necessary in this case.

Handling his own camera, Braun lives up to his moniker: no brains, all brawn. The nearly static camera approach is tedious in the extreme, but poor lighting renders most of the dull action difficult to watch and an instant eyes-strainer.

Like his STAR TREK effort, this isn't funny or amusing at all, merely imitation. It isn't flattering to James Cameron because it is so poorly done. Braun has a lot to answer for: he even had the temerity to cast Randy Spears as David Letterman (man, what an insult all around) in one of his ephemeral Sarah Palin cash-ins.

Evan Stone, a hambone who undiscriminating porn fans (or is it shills?) have elevated to some sort of acting pantheon status, is terrible in his lame imitation of Stephen Lang's gung-ho colonel in the original film. Beyond that, the video's only achievement is to have nearly adequate makeup to simulate the 10-ft.-tall avatars in strictly live action, blue-painted form, rather than CGI. It's cheaper.

Lexington Steele shows up with his massive member in a final orgy, but the absence of any closeups (Braun couldn't figure out how to shoot a 3-D closeup in focus evidently) wastes the "big cocks in 3-D" potential of this junker -I guess the vintage gay porn movie HEAVY EQUIPMENT was the best attempt at that kink. Female cast is not attractive, with or without gobs of makeup applications; even Nikki Hunter, who looked fine in a video ALICE I saw recently (not listed in IMDb at all for some reason) is unarousing here.

This one is strictly for rainy day masochists; a true masochist would opt for quality vintage porn from Phil Prince or Joe Davian.
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